• Until further notice, I’ll be at the club.

    Until further notice, I’ll be at the club.

    After several conversations, some of my Asian friends have reminded me of what the most essential garden instruments are. They told me that I needed some steel. So, just one quick story before I get out of here. My father actually came to visit me one time in Belarus. Oh, we made a big deal… Continue reading

  • Get ’em while they’re hot

    Get ’em while they’re hot

    Available at newsstands everywhere. Continue reading

  • Feng shui

    Feng shui

    I can’t tell the difference between whether I am the boss or the builder. Or maybe I’m just the bitchy homeowner who can’t stop redecorating even while the process of building is underway. Okay, it’s an opportunity to make money and at this level of wealth, what’s a few extra $100,000 either way. It’s a… Continue reading

  • Dustin Hoffman

    Dustin Hoffman

    Why weren’t you perseverant in getting to me 10 years ago? I suppose I was doing other things. But if it was important, why didn’t you do everything you could possibly think of to make it happen? We sent a few letters. To who? To you and to Michelle Rodriguez. We were pretty much dead… Continue reading

  • A fight for resources

    A fight for resources

    My thumb hurts this morning. I got into a fight yesterday. I honestly thought that my days of getting into fights were long ago. And just like the old days, I was not looking to involve myself in a tussle. I just wanted a flower petal for a snack. Okay, so this may require some… Continue reading

  • Hanging out in the garden with Robert Plant

    Hanging out in the garden with Robert Plant

    You know, Robert, you’ve got a hell of a name for a garden. Yes that’s right. I finally thought about that. I am a Plant. So we are sitting here contemplating the pluses and minuses of the Utopian. No, you’ve got a great thing here. I’ve never even thought such a thing is possible. Well,… Continue reading

  • Desertification

    Desertification

    I’m out in the garden right now basically grazing. I know I’m supposed to be doing something, I’m just not sure what. It’s been raining and cold for the last few days and this has allowed me some well needed time off. At the same time however, Lefty seems to be showing up for work… Continue reading

  • Schmoozing with Old Al

    Schmoozing with Old Al

    Don’t even ask me where I get these opportunities but I got a yes to this conversation from Mr Al himself. I guess it’s a pleasure to be here, what, G I’m supposed to call you? G is fine. It’s not really that often that I get to hang out with a celebrity of your… Continue reading

  • Two hotties

    Two hotties

    Okay, so fair is fair. I seem to have acquired some privilege here since joining the press corps. A regular place to live, stipend enough and for some reason, I have the luck, privilege and honor of the company of two hotties. Hi Yeah, okay. Hi. Nice. But as of the moment we are in… Continue reading

  • Plan baseball instead of war…

    Plan baseball instead of war…

    Technically, this is the farm report but I’m just enjoying the song of playing baseball instead of killing each other. I can’t help but think that somehow baseball is the answer. I guess everything starts with the fact that Lefty is starting to put in days for me. I didn’t think he was ever going… Continue reading

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