Friday, May 20th 2022
I am sitting in my ex-partner’s kitchen eating peanuts, veggies, black bread and drinking some Ivan Chai tea. Salty roasted peanuts are becoming an addiction for me. I know they are not very healthy for me. I don’t have a peanut allergy but they are very fatty and salty and when I eat too much of these things before I go to sleep, I wake up feeling like shit.
I would not say that yesterday was a very successful day. I wasn’t expecting so much out of it but it ended up being a pretty empty day. I think there was some kind of celebration going on in town but really, it was a lot of people doing exactly what they do normally. I’m not sorry for coming down. I got to spend a little time with my ex partner. I got to take a bath. It was not horrible.
I did not buy the water pump. It was just more expensive than I could get elsewhere. Significantly so. I did get a coupling to finish my current water setup. I have a line on a pair of pumps that are within my budget but I’m going to wait at least until next week to make my call.
Part of the reason I came to town was to give the well a chance to clean itself up. I basically drained it two days ago in the morning and I’m interested in seeing if it’s drinkable by today in the afternoon. If the well can recover from the vibrations of my current pump, we can plan for its activity and take water for the plants after taking water for myself and then giving it a few days to settle down.
I also have two phone numbers of people who dig pipe Wells. I don’t know if there is another way to say this in English. In Russian, there are two words, колодец и колонка, kolodets and kolonka. A closet is a well made up of concrete rings that you gather water by bucket. A kolonka is a pipe well where you drive a steel pipe into the ground and get water from the top either from a mechanical pump or an electric one.
When I talked to my friend at the Jewish community, he laughed and said that I should definitely just dig a new well. He says he has all the water he needs and he doesn’t find it very expensive. Unfortunately, he gets by on European money and works at a much higher economic level than I do. What he considers nonsense, I consider a serious bet. I do not like to take risks with money I might never see again and may need for something else. My solutions need to be far more practical. I do not have enough wallet to smack my problems in the face with it and make them go away.
As far as getting clean water goes, or have a few solutions. I could go back to buying bottled water. This is not so expensive but I would have to pay a premium for the guy to come out. I could play with that deal a little bit and have the water delivered to my ex-partner’s apartment on days when I plan to take a taxi home. This would allow me to make use of transport to do several things.
By the way, we’re talking about 7 to 10 dollars here. If that seems like an insignificant amount of money to worry about, you have never lived in the Republic of Belarus.
Anyway, the weather has warmed up enough that I can probably open my office again. I need a mouse. My old one quit on me so I will hit a computer store before heading back. I don’t have a lot to carry so I’ll make the bike ride and train ride to get home.
When I get there, I’ll check the well and see if I have drinkable water or not. If yes, we are probably going to be okay exactly as we are. And if not, I’ll ride over to the local store and carry 6 l back in a plastic bucket.
When talking to one local the other day, I’m talking about the village where I live. I told him about my worries about water and global warming and climate change. He believes that the Russians are fighting fascism in Ukraine so we can temper his thoughts on the subject against that. But he agreed that the shallow Wells that were dug in this village 50 years ago were dug to provide water for a very wet and swampy region. That swamp is almost gone and our water level is now significantly lower than it was. He anticipates that the water will just leave and the well will go dry and then we will just have to buy our water. Probably, this was already planned by the people who provide water.
Once again, the rich taking advantage of the poor.
So, I’m having a lot of economic thoughts. It is all about money after all. I might say that the genuine truth is that we should be thinking ecologically across the board but you can’t stop people from being hungry and you can’t apparently stop people from being greedy. Power apparently is a delicious drug. I have never been fond of it myself and I can’t really understand people who live their lives waiting for the opportunity to exercise it. But this is the case.
My muse for this particular thought is this rather attractive girl.
The translation for her blurb goes like this:
Good morning, I’m back ✌
My page is in the “shadow bath” or whatever it is called? In general, this is reflected in statistics and other things, and I decided to create a new page and let this page rest. The new one was deleted or blocked, I still didn’t understand what happened, but oh well)) While I’m here! I will be glad to any of your activity, reactions, marks, comments. I’m also thinking of doing SFS, let me know if you are in favor .
What caught my eye here is that this model is from Odessa. I am not going to sit here and pretend any genuine indignation at the fall of Western Civilization or open myself up to say that I am outraged by the activities of young women. I was on Instagram because I message quite a few people via their Instagram accounts. This was the first post and the picture of the girl in the grocery store was not as interesting as her mentioning that she’s from Odessa.
So what’s going on?
Has she left ukraine? Is this picture taken somewhere abroad? Is this picture exactly from Odessa and she is obviously shopping and trying to look pretty while doing so. Is this historic normalcy in action and this is Ukraine’s Joan of Arc telling everyone that the world is fine and that there is nothing to worry about.
I know another young lady who is posting a lot on Instagram these days. She’s from here and I’ve known her since she was a teenager because she was a student of mine. She has always been very loud about her love for Ukraine and I guess her Ukrainian heritage. She is now however living in Spain, making posts saying that she still loves you crying but also taking pictures of herself singing, drinking and coffee shops and laughing, full of the love of life.
So, is it just the economics? It’s just how many likes you get?
Zelinski also goes on Instagram everyday and today’s post is on budgets and war crimes.
It’s not really shocking when you think about the economics of War. I mean, we all agree that war happens and that we are supposed to be killing each other, right? I mean, when we send people in uniform and with guns to massacre other people, is it such a revelation that we are paying for this?
One of the local alcoholics told me about talking with the soldiers stationed near the post office in the village. The soldier said it was all about money. They were all fatalistic. Nobody gave a damn about them, they worked for the army and did their job but everything was about money. They didn’t particularly like or dislike the ukrainians as meaning anything. Somebody gave an order and they went to work and that was all.
So I guess it makes sense that in the same breath the president of Ukraine would speak of the genocide being practiced on his people in economic terms. I know he’s very happy to have gotten 40 billion from the United States. Probably, the investment in Joe Biden’s son by the oil business finally had an opportunity to get paid off. Finally we understand why Joe Biden was elected, why Fox News loves the Russians and Russian oils so much and why 13 million people had to lose their homes.
Ukraine managed to get rid of a bunch of people who don’t have money and got borders opened to them more quickly than otherwise would have been possible. They managed to get a giant loan that otherwise they would not have gotten. Russia got a chance to spend quite a bit of money that they will probably recoup in building supplies when all of the rebuilding takes place. And of course, as all of this money is going to go into businesses, all the carpetbaggers will make a profit, the auto business will make a profit and of course the oil business provides the source of all transportation.
I mean, there is a war. But let’s not forget the budget.
If you ask the Russians their opinion about this, I’m speaking about asking them if they see what I see right now, they will generally agree that the world is a big sloppy shit heap of stupidity. They will agree that this makes no sense whatsoever but that it will never stop until they get to the bottom of the barrel. They are alcoholics. They are drug addicts and they will never stop until there is not a penny left to pay for more.
I guess I forgot to mention that it’s a quarter to give in the morning right now. I’ve been up for a while. I couldn’t sleep anymore. I think I need to make some more tea.
***
It’s 7:30 and I’m in the kitchen again. We just finished breakfast of some slightly different tea, well, the same key but with some fresh mint added and a whole wheat spinach pie that my ex partner whipped up to go with her coffee.
The mint came from her family from her visit to the north and this morning we noticed that there were roots coming from the cuttings. Very nice. I have a place exactly perfect for mint and I will take five or six shoots with me and plant them. They say that they are invasive and that they spread because they send out runners. I am not really worried about that. Mint is wonderful and I would not be sad if we got a lot and I even replanted it at different places around my land.
The conversation around breakfast was wide-ranging. We talked a bit about depression and our situation these days. Typically in Belarus people talk about how bad things are. We never don’t have economic problems and we never have any clear roads going anywhere positive. But at the moment, we are breaking new records for dismalness. I don’t think anyone ever remembers feeling as much pressure as we do right now.
My ex-partner also explained to me that according to the Russian Orthodox Church, the 40 days of Lent leading up to pasca turn into 40 days of celebration leading to the event in which Jesus ascends to the sky. I asked her if Jesus was the cause of air pollution? She laughed for a moment but then the more I thought about it and taking into account Christian conservatism and its relationship to globalism, it’s actually kind of an apt comment. Jesus really does cause air pollution.
My things to do list today is pretty small. If I’m going to take the train, I have to be there by 11:20. The stores generally open at 10:00 so if I want a new mouse, I should be there when they crack the doors. And after that I just roll it over to the train station and get on. My backpack is not very full today so there is no reason to order a taxi cab.
So basically, nothing. I’m just sitting around waiting to do my last chores and then we go back to the village.
I wish I had some philosophical thoughts to share with you but I don’t. Really, I’m just sitting here typing.
***
Well, the well water is not so bad. It’s not perfectly clear, it’s still got a slight yellow tint to it. But it’s drinkable. It tastes good. We’re going to be okay.
As far as buying a new pump, I might just have to. I am extremely worried about money more than anything right now and if this is the quality of water 3 days after pumping, we can work out the schedule. Just as long as we fill the boxes and then let the well rest, we are going to be okay.
I also talked to Dima this morning and he is into the gig of helping put gutters on the roof. Again, you actually have to have rain to practice saving rainwater. But, with two or three more barrels and even reasonable rainfall, I don’t think we are going to have any problem whatsoever having enough water.
Okay, I’m speaking about this during an overcast day. It’s actually rather pleasant not to have the Sun banging down on you. Maybe I got too used to being cold during the winter but the sun does seem incredibly harsh these days. Hard like it’s not supposed to be.
As of the moment though, it’s very nice and easy. I just had my first glass of water in about 2 weeks and I feel much, much better. Again, if this backs up on me a bit later, I will let you know. But I had a sip and then another sip and then a couple of good swallows and I didn’t feel anything bad in it. Just clean water.
The ride back was not complicated. The sand on the road got me twice and I got to find out my capacity to send my voice long distances. I’m sure anybody who heard the screen knew it was the American. You can guess the word I said very loud.
In a perfect world, they would respect bicycles more than they do and there might be a stretch of asphalt along this service road. I don’t know how much these things cost in materials and labor but it would be amazingly nice to have a bike path between me and the train.
Of course, I could just ride my bike the whole way. My ex partner likes doing that. I just don’t like riding with the cars anymore. I spent years riding with the cars but now I just find it too annoying to be palatable. I don’t think it’s a matter of being scared. It’s just a matter of having my concentration Disturbed and having to suck Auto fumes. There’s nothing worse in the world than feeling clean air suddenly taken from you and replaced by poisonous gas. And to everybody who might laugh at what I’m saying because they believe that auto fumes are not harmful, would someone please direct them to the bureau of public health and inform them please of how carcinogenic this material is.
Get on that right away and I’d like a full report on my desk come Monday.
Anyway, I have got a lot of work to do. I really do need to clean up the house which is genuinely a mess. I’m going to take the trouble to believe in the weather report and that we’re going to have some rain today and tomorrow. I’m saying it would be nice if we did and they were right for a change. And then I’m just going to take it easy. I don’t have any other pressing business to take care of this week. Everything interesting comes back into Life on Sunday.
***
Okay, it’s 6:30 on Friday evening and time to shutter this place.
I went to the store to pick up some oil and some bread. Possibly I don’t need it but I wanted it so I got it. But what I did not buy was vodka or any alcohol. I asked myself the truth and I just don’t like how I feel when I drink. I don’t like how I act, I don’t like how I feel and I don’t like what it does to my life. I understand this is pushing on social contrivances. I also understand but I am an iconic fixture to my rather limited neighbors. But I don’t really care and they can think anything about me that they want. These are their problems.
I do have one thought that I have been grinding on all week. I don’t know why I didn’t get it out sooner. It’s not drama waiting till the last minute. It just needs to be said
Ukraine was not the only country that Russia invaded in 2014. They also invaded Belarus. The difference was that Belarus didn’t have any particular natural resources that Russia needed except for its people. Belarus put up no fight whatsoever in 2014. Obviously, if there is a reason for European sanctions against this country it is exactly for this political decision. At the time, if you would have asked the general population if they wanted to remain independent or allow themselves to be colonized without a fight, I’m not sure how that vote would have gone.
Certainly, there are the TV watchers. Certainly there are people who are swayed easily by the most simplistic rhetoric. You can tell them that shit is highly nutritious and no one will flush their toilet for weeks.
But if you actually told them all of the ins and outs of what happens when you make a unilateral unidirectional deal that allows another country to make use of you however it feels like, I’m not really sure that the majority would go for it.
I have often talked about the difference in texture. It wasn’t just my own social position. I was just a person here. Perhaps I was unique because of my passport. Not many people from America choose to go this direction and most try to go the other. But I don’t remember any of the bullshit that I have to take now. There was no objectification. There was no brutality. It was just a bunch of really nice people trying to get by as best they could and I definitely enjoyed it.
And then 2014 happened. There’s no other way around it. The change was massive and instantaneous. No, they didn’t fire any rockets at us. They didn’t have to. We didn’t stand up for one tank battle. We didn’t ask anyone for any heroism. We just opened the door, pulled down our pants, bent over and said please. No argument whatsoever. No national unity. No feelings of pride at self-sustainment. No using our talent or our manpower to see what we could do with ourselves. We just said that we agreed that Russia could use us however they wanted. And that’s exactly what they’ve been doing.
There were a bunch of men at the market and they were acting like Russians. Literally, they were acting like they were direct from a Lenin films production from the ’70s. They danced obsequiously to one another. They spoke as fast as they could and acted as if they were drunk out of their mind and bullying their way through whatever stood in their way. Forward pioneers!
I ignored them. I even ignored the guy who approached me and wanted me to explain myself to him. I asked him if I asked him to explain himself to me. He was confused. He was in the right. I am The strange One. I am not normal here.
Well here’s the news. I’m not here because anyone in America ordered me here. I’m not here doing service and getting paid to make people nervous. No particular country pays for my services these days. And what is more, I was not told that there was any voting rights that go on whether or not someone can live somewhere. I was told that there was a house for sale, I met the offer, paid for it with my own hard-earned money, not American money from Uncle Sam, from my hours and hours of Labor teaching the children of this God forsaken colony how to speak for themselves. Nobody asked for a vote of approval. There is no tenant society. Just a bunch of drunk fucking Russians.
I made a brief ride around town this morning. I had two or three chores to do before my train and I wasn’t really looking around, I was looking for a computer place to get a new mouse but effectively, I took a bike ride around. They are preparing for a big holiday this weekend. The children I suppose are going to perform songs and dances. They are going to bring out the vendors and play loud music and people are going to be obligated to walk around and be amused at the fair. The men will get ridiculously drunk, at least those who are not making genuine money.
Truthfully, I don’t even know what this party is. The only thing I do know is that when I passed through the main square and saw the stage set up, I noticed the flag clusters contained both Belarusian and Russian flags. The green and red commingling with the red white and blue stripes of the Russian federation. Don’t make any doubt about the politics and you knew that it was a state sponsored affair because of the security everywhere. When the state holds a party, the police come out in force. When there is a non-state function, they leave these ill-dressed people to themselves.
I didn’t sign up for this. I understand why nobody listens to me. You can’t talk about ecology in a country that only cares about money and believes the only way to make money is to sell natural resources and let 97% of the population live in poverty. You can’t talk about becoming an independent country and being resourceful and clever and doing what you can do to make sure that everybody gets what they need in a place where you do what you are told or get jailed.
To be Russian here means to be strong! You act strong and you live strong. You bully through things without looking left or right. You intimidate.
I didn’t sign up for this. When I showed up here, everybody was nice and polite to each other. Literally, they had a new independent country and everybody was trying to figure out for themselves how to go about doing that. Everybody was on their best behavior. They were sure that being polite to each other was the best way to be the best independent country in the world. They did not believe that they had the road to success. They only had their socialist rules from before and knew that if they practiced well, there would be a good chance of success.
And then the Russian Bank failed and they took all the money. And everybody got nostalgic 11 and got drunk. And the wonderful Russians didn’t lift a finger to help us except to give us the dirty work processing their oil. And then they painted a few houses and now they control the media and every aspect of society. Now, it’s Russia. Now they don’t even pretend that there are votes. Now no one has a choice but to do their job. Now it is illegal not to have a job. Now you just go to jail for protesting for your rights. And specifically today, we are obligated to celebrate our happiness.
By the way, the holiday being celebrated is the day of the family. Russia celebrated by bombing the cultural square, a Ukrainian version of the exact same square I was talking about in the above blog.
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