It’s well into Wednesday afternoon and the weather is again perfect. Actually, it’s hot. It is obviously hotter than it is supposed to be or, as I sink is the story, we are getting some kind of dazzling light from the Sun that just carries a little bit too much radiation. This is either from refracted particulate from all of the shit we put up in the air or it has something to do with not having enough water in the air to be a buffer.

I grew hydroponic lettuce last winter and so I spent some time studying LED lights. I found a way to enhance the luminosity by simply removing the plastic cover that refracts the light and dims it slightly. I juiced it. And it worked at low levels. Now, if that was the Sun and we had taken off that necessary cover, this would explain why all of my trees need topping. They’re top leaves are being roasted. And let me tell you, I don’t like hurting things in the garden and I don’t like having to be a doctor who does an amputation because the sun was too fucked up to nurture a pear tree.

Yeah, mama is a cranked up bitch. Mama drives in the car too much like a psychopath. Mama is absolutely full of carcinogens from all the crap that goes up into her child’s body. We are back feeding from the umbilical cord and turning Mommy to a street whore. Our sun right now is it drunken brazen drugged out bitch who can’t control herself and harms her children in a rage.

These poisons, these things we throw away thoughtlessly, don’t really go anywhere. There is no other place for our garbage. There is no other country or city or place in the forest, like these wonderful people I live like to do with their trash. Everything we throw away as trash is still here. Nothing ever left. Just because you can’t see it or don’t want to see it or can’t see it because you’re so fucked up with propaganda that you can’t see anything, you don’t have to do more than think about it to understand that it’s still there. For a hundred years? For a thousand years? How much production of garbage do we actually need us a species of life on the planet Earth? Exactly how much waste do we need to produce to genuinely feel that we are not roadside crack whores?

You know, I don’t know if it’s deluding myself for trying to draw pictures of really nice places and really nice people, but sometimes I invent things. I don’t really invent things for this world other than these ideas right now but then again, I don’t really make garbage doing what I do so, there’s that. Technically, unless you want to print a copy of The Utopian, because we are now a thing, right?, We don’t even use paper. But then, there are a lot of ways to recycle a Utopian and all of them are pretty much biofriendly.

Actually, here’s another by the way idea. Print them and sell them at the market and just keep all the profit for yourself. How about that one?

One More by the way idea. I have an email published here. If you feel like helping out, Zelle me a hello. Cheers

But the invention I thought of was if we lived in a world where there were no guns or hunting or anybody particularly going into the forest for any reason, the population of animates like ourselves would start to happen. I don’t really need to think about what happens to all of the cows when we let them go or any of this other bullshit that is also wonderful to think about, I just want to know what happens when we actually contend with wild animals who see us either as meat or some form of life that challenges their autonomy. I guess I was thinking of wild dogs. Mutant wild dogs. Not these beautiful wolf creatures, all of our concoctions sent back out to Nature to become whatever the fuck. How do we contend with a moment like This without guns or violence?

My idea was to construct a lightsaber. Now, it’s the same idea as a lightsaber from Star wars but in this case, it’s intention is not to damage. We don’t really need the power that slices through steel or flesh indiscriminately, what we want is the illumination and the threat of some serious radiation. And this is completely buildable because you need a handle that holds the battery, some form of really decent recyclable glass to refract the light but leave the tip open and have this thing be run by a serious naked LED.

So, this is a combination of torch that illuminates the area around you, a flashlight from hell to illuminate the area in front of you and something nothing wants directly in their eyes should these mutant from hell Omega Man Will Smith house pet zoids that might actually be angry at us for what we did to them. Imagine animal intelligence being a little more than we give it credit for. Like for example, maybe we suppress animals the way we suppress people. Maybe he’s little assholes know more than you think they do.

By the way, if I remember my Star Wars correctly, Yoda went to live on Dagada, a remote swampy nowhere where he made himself quite comfortable in his retirement until being bothered by Luke Skywalker, who had finally managed to kill Good Old Ben Kenobi and would eventually get us all killed. Thanks Luke. But seriously, how am I not Yoda? And seriously, how tall do you think I am?

So, how am I doing? I’m good. I picked up two ticks on my testicles. Testicle ticks are not really enjoyable nor is the necessary surgery to get the head out. And then you get the swelling for a few days. Mix in and act of bravery to relieve some space for one of our new trees that was planted in a very bad spot to start with, got me some nettle poppers in that region as well. So, nude gardening works for the little stuff and the watering and even some of the human construction, if you think such a thing is sexy. But don’t go crashing through a forest of nettles thinking you’re going to save a tree with nothing but a clipper and think that you’re not going to have an itchy scratchy day.

With this beautiful thought in mind, I did water the field today which was very grateful to get it. It is a war as I had planned and it’s an everyday thing to make sure that everybody gets a little rain. But on the other side, it is not an undoable job or even one that’s not particularly okay to do myself. It feels really nice to be out in the sun while you’re watering. Turn off the water, and the burning starts pretty fast. That’s my skin and the more sensitive trees and bushes. These are the ones I mentioned earlier that are morphing into bushes because they can no longer live in their normal form. There’s not enough water to support them.

You know but, these are pleasant moments of fresh air and innocent fun. Just doing something wonderful for the plants that live with me and for myself. I need to be watered too. Some of it’s a shower but some of it’s just because it feels good. And yes, there’s lots of washing to do so we have lots of flags flying.

So am I clean? No. I’ve got a little bit of a cold. I’ve got a little bit of covid and a bit of no taste in my mouth. The nettles don’t help. And you know, how old am I already? But all of this nervousness that has had an outlet because I’ve had the legs to have a look at what I was worried about prove to be very good for one’s health. My lungs seem good, my muscles and bones are not bad, a bit of a bag around the middle but my head is clear, so that’s something. And my eyes? Ask the jukes. Oh that’s right, there are no jukes to ask. Sorry. My mistake.

And with my neighbors I can only report that there is a softness in the air and I haven’t heard very many cars lately. There has been no screaming that I have heard other than Little t. She spoke a little too loud and ended up doing nothing but taking out the trash. She’s not ready yet.

But here’s the thing. There’s a curse in Belarus. My daughter’s mother taught me this many years ago. She says that you should never be happy because something bad is about to happen. Tsu, tsu, tsu. This is a Russian habit of spitting when someone says something so unpleasant that you don’t want the taste of it in your mouth. Even talking about this is likely bad luck if you are really Belarusian.

Let’s say that the neighbors got the idea this time. Let’s say that all of this calmness that I feel right now is not a calm before the storm but that a genuine decision was made to leave or move the cars or get rid of them or any of those combinations that are pure workers. There of course cannot be a conversation about that where they say, “We have come to a decision that you are correct and we believe we are probably open to the most heinous criminal prosecution. But for the kindness of your heart, you have not acted like us and spent all of your time trying to harm us. For that and in gratitude, here’s the keys. Make us a nice Garden and maybe we can come and visit once a year by taxi or bus or bicycle with the kids so that they can walk around in a beautiful garden.” That’s not going to happen even though it would be way cool if it did. Well, if that happened but they really weren’t hiding a handgun, right?

Yeah, that’s the problem. There is no happy ending with these people. This is a trust issue. I know it’s kind of a crazy thing to talk about blanket objectification globally, but I think it’s going to be really hard to tell anybody you’re Russian. I’m thinking it’s going to be like at the end of World War II where everyone kind of fudges about their genuine point of origin. Probably a lot of Russians will try to tell you that they’re from Belarus or from Ukraine. But you’ll know if they’re rushing or not. You just listen to how they talk. When they start talking Russian in English to you, there’s not a doubt in your mind who you’re looking at.

But right now there is nothing but fresh air and bird sounds. My job got done, the utopian is humming and I feel like maybe this one is even kind of special. Everything is kosher everywhere it needs to be kosher and that means the ship is in good shape and we’re going to a good place. And who knows, maybe they will even do something about the gasoline smell.

Okay, Jewish goodbye. One more thing. It’s too hot for cooked food. So, if you are working with lightweight grains like buckwheat and light legumes like lentils, you can just soak your starches and have them cold with fresh from the garden greens. It’s here. The human food is here. The peas are here. The leafy greens are here. The first few berries are showing up on the bushes and the sweet fruit is on its way. Food is no longer an inside game.

So, do you want to bake some bread and bring that outside with you? I can see that going on for Shabbos. 100%. But right now, a bowl of beans and rice, a pair of sticks and we have absolute genuine human food ready to be picked up pretty much everywhere you look. Lunch is served in the garden. And maybe even some strawberry for dessert.

Okay, I also put some peanut butter in there. You need fat in your diet? Peanut butter is your friend. Heart attack city. All the fat you need to get the job done. (And yes, you can just throw some peanuts in the mix when you cook them. Same difference kind of.)

So, did we do good? No one can say for sure and Life goes on and on and you never really know what tomorrow is going to bring. But for now, this feels really good. Subtracting the cars and the gasoline from the landscape really does the picture a world of good.