Man Leaning on a Crutch with Left Arm Raised
Alexandre Hesse, French, 19th century

Back when I used to play, I had this incredibly interesting habit of going for a walk with a baseball bat. It wasn’t like it was a tough neighborhood and I certainly don’t remember trying to represent myself as any kind of a tough guy. Literally, I was just in the process of preparing for a game and I found that going for a walk and swinging a baseball bat was an amazing way to get loose and centered. And I could hit so I respected the process.

I guess though if we took a look at such a picture, a young man muscularly walking down the street while swinging a baseball bat might look as if he intended to hit something very hard. This might send flags of alarm through the neighborhood. I really didn’t think of it at the time as anything other than I really, really loved playing baseball. Just like that. Whatever they thought about me, I loved playing baseball.

I have this in common with the Babe who’s hanging out with me in the garden today. We’ve been having a hell of a time and I’m glad he was here. There was some work that needed to be done and doing it on crutches is just a lot. Painful time unless you’ve got the Babe keeping your company.

We talked about a lot of things but we both agreed that the subject worth talking about was the swing. You’ve just got to get that swing exactly right. You got to hit the ball just so. And when you get that swing right, boy, you’ve really got something.

And so there is much work to be done outside of the garden. The watering got done and the tomatoes got mulched. The field got watered and the potatoes got dezhuked. Death to the nasty nasties I say. It’s a bloodthirsty war in the trenches against our three sworn enemies. The flies, the mosquitoes and the goddamned Nazi zhukes. We take them out of the sky with our anti-aircraft battalions and we crush them with lightning reflexes like they are our food. Surprise! You done planted your eggs on the wrong side of the potato tracks.

Brings up some remarkably killer instincts surprisingly. I bet the Belarusians are thanking God in hell for crippling me just to save themself from the potential savagery of this old man. They are so crazy I want to cry.

And then we have the Utopian. God bless the Jewtopian. Oops, Freudian slip. I didn’t believe this was going to become a thing. It really is quite a bit of work but for some reason it has a wonderful satisfaction to it. I guess the ironic thing is that it technically is a printable document. Print it and hold it in your hands and read it. What an experience. What a thing to own. I mean, in the world of $10 loaves of bread simply because one can claim the artisanship of The Craft, what would such a thing be worth?

The deliciousiousness of adulation is an amazing pain in the ass. Hazar hazar hazar, but let’s get back to work because we have another one of these to put together.

Why are we working so hard if this is Utopia? Probably the answer is that it is Utopia because we work so hard. We’ve got to get this thing right.

My problem is that I am too heavy-handed. I know that they gave me the seat at the table and told me that I was managing the project because the project required a manager. I don’t really like managing. I prefer simply being a part of the team. Maybe a player manager or something like that. But now I should not play. I should not play the game because I cannot walk well enough to enjoy it. And if I can’t enjoy it, I can’t be good at it. And it means that I should be reasonable enough in my editorial decisions, and thank God I have a lucid editor, I should perhaps sit more on the bench and be less active in the games. Perhaps the beauty of the Utopian is in its diversity. It can’t be about me at all.

I don’t think I made a mistake by playing ball. You never know unless you try. And yeah, boom, I hit that homer. Last time I’ll mention it. But let’s talk about it here! I mean boom shakalaka boom shakalaka boom, see ya, don’t want to be ya… Okay, it really felt good. And then I got drunk on it and started smearing myself all over these pages and insisting that what was interesting to me be of interest to the entire staff. And this is where I was heavy-handed because I forgot to allow them their creativity.

It’s not just the size of the columns that restrict us. We create our own realities and to be a good human being means allowing others their realities. In a lot of ways, all social action becomes artificial. We just use our best behavior and try to create and enjoyable situation. I think this is what create no harm means. Agreeing to live a little artificially for the sake of the planet and all of the other living things.

I’ve been too loud. My voice has been too loud here. I think it’s time I let the younger people play. I think this issue will have a lot in it for everybody because we are lucky enough to have a diverse staff. And about that interview with the Babe, you can find it right where it’s supposed to be, under the fold on the baseball page.

This week is going to be painful. But fuck it, make it more painful. Let’s just do our fucking job. Let’s get together and make something beautiful this week. You know, like God created the heavens and the Earth. Just like that. Maybe it’s a challenge. Go create something beautiful this week. Just make sure it’s finished when the light changes on Friday. Keep it simple and practical. This usually works. Let’s go!