Another shot over the bow by conservative thinking. That’s the thing about conservative thinkers, they always talk about everything but what is right in front of our faces. The usual tactic is to attack my body. They do not attack my work, all of these crazy things I create, they attack the body and the label that has been glued to it. Perhaps it is a Star of David that I have somehow forgotten to sew on to my clothing so that I can be more easily identified visually at a glance. Maybe that is dismissed at a glance. I’m pretty good at glancing. I’m kind of like conservative thinkers in that I don’t really like to be bothered. I don’t live in fear of losing my stuff I prefer my own direction and advice mostly.

What they said was that I’m not poor. This must somehow connect with that I do not understand their people. I’ve never heard a comment from a conservative thinker from this region who whatever have that us against you and we are the majority inherently laced into any comment.

I wonder what that means? To be poor in the way that they believe they are poor. “What can be done? Nothing can be done. We can’t do anything.” I don’t know. I don’t know. It seems that you can figure things out if you try. How does that song go?

You can’t always get what you want but if you try sometime you just might get what you need.

I don’t really have much patience for people doing anything other than feeding themselves. Whatever you think is necessary to live on the planet Earth, no matter how religious I may make myself out to be, God only asked me to piss, shit, fuck, eat, drink and sleep. We can argue about the 10 rules of morality but the 6 rules of life, five of which can be counted on your fingers, seem pretty sacrosanct to me. You don’t do any of those and you die or just go insane.

I don’t remember ever having enough money not to worry about anything. I don’t believe the number exists. It seems that if you are good enough to make money, they’re never seems to be a reason to quit and say, “okay, I’m good. I’ve had enough.” I’ve had some money and I’ve wasted some money, maybe. Maybe if I had some of that money I had earlier in my life, I would certainly not do the same things with it.

But I have never been rich. My parents were perhaps upper middle class but they were workers from workers. It was not a rich person’s house. Okay, it was big and I had my own room and my room had a television. Maybe I was a pasha but that was all I had and everything else was kind of terrorism, emotional and otherwise. Everything else was pollution. Everything else was addiction and sadism and Hysteria and really, really poor health.

And then these lovely people, these wealthy wealthy people told me good luck on my road. And not them nor anyone I was supposedly related to ever had a job for me. Not one, not ever.

They have this phrase, “self-made man.” This usually gets afixed to Instagram millionaires who appear to have no worry money. They are not resting of course, they are creating more garbage and they are continuing whatever it is that allowed them the right to waste incredible amounts of resources. But it’s true about myself. I didn’t really have so much help getting me here. And I didn’t have too much in my pocket when I arrived.

I am also noticing as I print these words that my hands are filthy. I think it has something to do with covering my field while on crutches yesterday and managing to hobble out to weed and de-zhuk the lower gardens and to say hi to the forest already this morning.

I just don’t know how these people have come to be able to speak to others. Who has allowed such a species to live? People who don’t work who stand there yelling at people who do and think they deserve it. What a paradise

We are not really supposed to be looking to other people to solve our problems. We’re not really supposed to be sitting around and complaining about how bad it is. We’re supposed to be taking care of ourselves. I don’t know, money is a funny thing. It’s very possible to not have enough. I have been there. I have been at zero. I have been where I had nothing but my land to eat from.

I don’t know if this is helpful advice, but maybe you just shouldn’t be so in love with food you get from the fancy stores. I say we need our share of grains and certain types of legumes are definitely for machines to harvest. But I seem to be doing great allowing nature to be and she seems to be keeping me pretty healthy. It also really minimizes my need to go shopping.

I understand poverty. Poverty is when your head don’t work and you can’t think of something good to do with yourself or to figure out how to fix your problem sustainably. Or even comfortably, if you’re just a tiny bit smarter than that. Add honesty and you pretty much done the trick.

Oh yeah, and think socialistically about how many resources you waste and how many people you exploit. It’s better to keep these things practical. Ecology.