Tuesday, October 11th 2022
Zelinsky in Kiev the morning after.
More news from the front and about whether Belarus is ready to seriously fight with the Russians.
They have a name for it. It is something like a joint group engagement and Belarus is now into the war.
Is Belarus entering the Ukrainian war?
Belarus initially denied involvement with the conflict, but has since admitted to allowing Russian missile launchers stationed on its territory to shoot at Ukrainian targets.
This video essay from a few days ago is a bit long-winded and simplified with a lot of childish graphics but basically the information is true. Also, they did fire the rockets from here that landed in Kiev. So it’s not really conjecture, it’s just how many soldiers they can get to agree to go and fight against their brothers.
Another map reader gives a pretty good analysis of the rocket attack. The video clearly shows that Belarus is indeed the starting point of the attacks to the northwest of the country. And yes, it also clearly shows that if NATO agrees to join the fight, Belarus is once again going to be cannon fodder and simply a place to be overrun on the way to Moscow. Just like before.
They say that people who do not study history are condemned to repeat it. That is the most sickly ironic thing ever said right now. I’ve been here for 20 years and every year there are at least five or six holidays remembering the war. You can’t go anywhere in town without running into a giant War memorial and the lessons of the Great Patriotic War are taught in all of the classes. Everyone talks about how great the price this country paid in the fight against fascism. And now, we are fighting for the fascists with absolutely nothing in it for ourselves except to get trampled and destroyed all over again.
As if we’ve never ever ever learned anything.
***
It’s 6:00 a.m. and I guess I’ve had a pretty restful night. I thought in the kitchen / Cafe for a long time just watching bullshit on my phone. I was physically tired but I just didn’t want to go to bed. I didn’t need to move around and I didn’t need to engage my brain. I was just happy where I was.
Dinner was not large or super engaged. It was mostly just buckwheat porridge with whatever I had lying around. I wasn’t particularly hungry when I ate it but I’m never really hungry anymore except when I feel a bit hypoglycemic from overwork. However, it’s been about a week where I’ve been free to walk around so I guess what’s happening is I’m just getting used to being alive again. Nice? Nice.
I had a hard time getting to sleep though. I really wasn’t doing anything but tossing and turning until the idea got into my head that I was cold. You’d think such a primal idea would be the first thing that someone would notice. I literally had to check the weather service to find out what the story was and when I saw that the temperature had dropped a single digits, I realized that it was just too uncomfortable to get to sleep.
I had not been making fires the last few days because my body just hasn’t needed it. A friend of mine once told me that people who live in the villages have a greater tolerance for cold than people who live in town. My ex partner is absolutely hysterical about temperature changes when she comes out here. Changes in weather that are completely unnoticeable to me have her scurrying to put on more clothes. I did my Sunday efforts in a T-shirt while she never took off her coat the whole time she was here.
The thing about working with Celsius instead of Fahrenheit is that the numbers are a bit more pronounced. When the weather is in the tens, it’s cool. When the weather gets into the twenties, it’s warm. The 30s is very hot and below 10 is very cold. Zero is freezing so anytime you get below zero, you are combating something that is detrimental to your life. Yes, you do get used to being in a generally colder environment and you do adapt but these numbers are basically true. With percentage gradations of course but it’s basically true.
I made a fire, I am amazingly good at making fires these days, and within moments everything leveled out. I’ve learned all the tricks already about how to deal with the little firebox I have here in the warm room. I’ve been using longer logs and no longer cut my wood in half. Perhaps I will return to cutting down firewood for certain things but basically, the long logs burn a little bit longer and end up heating the entire fire box a little better. The initial fire does add some heat to the room but the real warming doesn’t start until the fire dies down and the bricks begin to release the energy they had stored. That is what makes for the most comfortable night’s sleep and that’s what happened to me finally last night. A 6:00 a.m. wake up for me is ridiculous.
I did not mention my student yesterday because I did not have a lesson. He called me over the weekend and asked if he could change the time of our lessons. He has an opportunity to do some kind of sport after school. He wanted to move to Tuesdays and Fridays but I offered him Sundays and Thursdays instead and he agreed. We have a meeting today to cover yesterday’s homework and then we’ll meet again on Thursday and after that we’ll get into the new schedule. 9:00 a.m. on Sundays is not uncomfortable and this will give him more freedom in his life after school. I’m good with the switch.
I wrote his father a nice letter and reminded him that it’s time to pay the bill. I have not heard from him since. More drama? There’s always drama. I don’t know what it means but we will find out within a day or so.
Honestly, I kind of like the kid. He’s a bum as most boys are but he does try. He’s got heart. His dad has got heart too. His dad is an independent businessman. His dad is the kind of guy I actually get along with. I’m sure it’ll work out one way or another.
About today, I don’t really have very big plans. I suppose I will continue doing exactly what I’m doing and try to be a bit useful during the day in some way. I’d love to get my hands on some silicone caulking for my windows. I guess I could go shopping for this.
I’ve been shopping for insulation for this platform I’m sitting on right now. With the weather getting cooler, it definitely needs to get packed with something. The question is what to pack it with. I’ve thought about using some of my old clothes to do the job. I have a lot of clothes, believe it or not. I mostly just dress in jeans and t-shirts and put on sweaters and a code to battle weather. I have plenty of clothing that either is or is not worthy of second hand. It doesn’t matter because apparently you can’t give your clothes to second hand shops here. I don’t know what you do with old clothes except throw them away.
A lot of my clothes are ridiculous on my body right now. I’m not skin and bones but I do not at all resemble the guy who wore these clothes. Some of the things I have are so huge that I cannot make them stay on my body anymore. I noticed that I’m still pretty strong. I have enough strength to do some lifting right now. My cardio is for crap unfortunately from not being on my bike for a couple of months but I have power in my muscles. But I just no longer have the mass that I used to. 4 years of a vegan diet, regular exercise and I don’t drink alcohol anymore. Try that for a diet plan sometime and see if it doesn’t help.
There is one beautiful thing about all of this though. What is truly nice is that I am finally arriving at the place I wanted to be when I came here. This was probably the heart of the idea I had. I wanted to be able to work as it suited my own physical needs to do something. I like the idea of being in the country because if I needed exercise, I could always find something to do. There’s always something that needs to be fixed or some chore that needs to be taken care of. It’s hard to live in the country and maintain a garden without plenty of exercise waiting for you.
It kind of sucks that the energy came to me so late in the season. I’m not sorry for anything. I got to participate enough this year in the hysterics over dealing with the drought. I built the garden boxes myself before my leg went bad. I was here everyday even during the period when I was mostly on the couch. But this is much better. What I have right now is exactly what I wanted for the most part. It’s not perfect and it could definitely be better. But basically this is nice.
The baseball playoffs are continuing tonight as well. My heart is not really as much into it as it was. My interest in the Yankees has something to do with where I lived in New York when I lived there around the turn of the millennia. I kind of like the Phillies. I guess I could also muster some energy to root for the Padres against the Dodgers. But my guess is watching games will be more a matter of convenience than interest. If I’m awake and there’s a game on, I might watch it.
I don’t think I’m ready to call this boredom. I think I’m just ready to call this winter.
This blog has an ending date of about 5 weeks from now. I believe the week that ends on the 18th of November is week 45. This has been my tradition for 3 years now. It started organically using the American elections in 2020 as my ending point. Last year began as a publicly oriented thing as well and planned to follow the schedule. I didn’t quite make it that far and I think I’m at about the anniversary of when I went into the hospital right now.
It seems pretty natural to be running out of things to talk about. This is not really the time for serious planning. It is the time of resting that’s coming up. Or at least it is supposed to be if the world was following its natural rhythms.
I guess we can never forget that we have to have War. We are just not allowed to have peace. We are never allowed to live without hate and fear. We are never allowed to live without propaganda sponsored by people who don’t actually fight in the wars and live absolutely well insulated and protected lives in bunkers. We are following the whims of very rich people who have enough money to buy all of the sickness and pleasures the world has to offer. They know nothing of needing to work to sustain themselves. They’ve never known a day of true self-sufficiency in their lives.
I’m not going to get called into this war. There is no reason for anyone to call me to participate in this war. The United States will not lift a finger for me. The Belarusians have no reason to bother me except in the usual casual attacks that I’ve been getting.
There is the possibility of soldiers coming through here though. I am not looking forward to that at all. I’m not looking forward to the war coming through here. That’s the one thing about listening to the bloody map readers. The war gets fought in every single village in the contested region. The Russians do not make life better for anybody in those villages as far as I can see. The big towns of course take the brunt of abuse. The big towns can get shelled. And of course everyone likes to attack the electrical grid. No, I am really not looking forward to the war coming here.
Anyway, I guess I’ll just try to enjoy this peaceful moment as much as I can. The alternative is going to be anything but peaceful.
***
It’s 11:00 a.m. and I am back in the kitchen Cafe. I always wanted to own my own Cafe and now I do. It’s a very nice place to sit and has a big south facing window which keeps you warm.
Right after I finished writing this morning, I gave Lena a call. Among the things that I needed to do was to wash clothing and I actually have quite a bit. I never did do any washing last week and I guess it kind of adds up. She seemed very happy that I was calling her. She came over in about 30 minutes.
There wasn’t that much gossip to talk about but I found out why she was so excited to get my call. Her mother has moved out again and has gone to town for the winter. She is alone in her house and I guess my value has risen in her eyes. She is also not drinking again. This is obvious in her manner. It was nice to see her again.
The wash got done surprisingly quickly. I think it had something to do with me giving her a bag of KittyKat I had in my closet. I am thinking about whether I need a cat or not. Mostly I think I prefer living without one. But there are mice here and even the slightest mistake has a mouse showing up in it. I know that she has several cats and the last time we spoke, she told me that she found a mouse sitting on her pillow. How can a mouse be sitting comfortably on my pillow when I have two cats in the house? I think the kitty cat will probably help. It’s expensive but it’s factory food and probably has sugar in it so the cats go crazy and become excessively needy. This is probably good for their hunting. That’s the trick you know. You have to get those cats into wage slavery like the rest of us. Make them earn their key.
I had another really good breakfast. This was a simple trick. I put some peas, some quinoa, a few spices and a dry jalapeno pepper in the blender and gave it a good solid grind. This is like instant soup mix and it saves for a little while in a glass jar.
What you do is Cook potatoes and vegetables how you like them. This morning I used a little olive oil. You let them cook up until they are for the most part al dente. Al dente means toothsome so I’m not sure if it applies to potatoes but it can if you wanted to. In my case, it means that the potatoes are mildly soft. I don’t mind if they still have some bite to them. You just cook them to the point that they are edible and no more. At this point, you just throw the soup mix over the top and then add some water. The trick is to deglaze the pot and create a rather ridiculous cream soup which solidifies very quickly. The taste is magnificent and it is extremely healthy instant comfort food. Exactly what I love most in the world.
So I had breakfast and after a really short period of time Lena came back again. Everything was done. She yelled at me about how much work I gave her. We haggled about money and I made her happy again.
After this, my ex partner, probably feeling a tinge of jealousy from the universe, decided to call me with some information about some of our berry bushes. It seems that we have two bushes that are probably more decorative than they are tasty. I guess this one lovely bush with red leaves is named Barberry. And we have another called Sea Buckthorn. Both are more medicinals than they are edibles. I got them as presents from Ria last year and planted them. I really just wanted edible berries but both of these plants are attractive, especially the buckthorn. Right now it has absolutely gorgeous red leaves to it. I don’t mind looking at it at all.
I’ve been outside and I understand my task about working on the bench but I’m just not quite as motivated today as I was yesterday. Perhaps the spirit will come to me and I will rise from my chair and save the world from the lack of a backrest. It’s really not that much of a job. The setup and bringing out the tools is probably more labor-intensive than doing the work itself.
Building this bench did give me a bit of a mood about building a few more of these around my property. I think having a nice place to sit down is a very good thing and I’ve been thinking about where a nice place for one or two more of these would be.
When I came here, I thought it was really important to have an outside place for a fire. I found a place just outside the house to lay out in the grass and make something to eat. I guess the place can be a little insect intensive in the evenings but if you’re into it and don’t mind it, perhaps three benches around a fire might be nice.
Or maybe that’s not really necessary and just having a place to put your bottom when you don’t feel like standing up is all you need.
maybe it’s just that I get used to things as they are. Rebuilding this bench yesterday was a necessary thing simply because for me, there always has been a bench there. I can’t really imagine having this place without that bench. I probably bought the house because of that bench. But I could see having a place to quietly sit down near the garden would be very nice. There is a line of berry bushes that follows the line of trees down the meadow. Perhaps where the bushes stop would be a good place to make a bench. In fact, there is a place where the trees didn’t grow and two of them died where we could probably grow bushes that fade backward into a light circle and put a bench in the middle of that.
On the main street that runs through the center of the village there are a number of houses where there are benches out on the street for people to gather and talk on. On my street, there is no such thing. I thought about putting a bench out there one time but then I got to know the neighbors who live on my street better and decided against it. A lock on the gate is a much wiser choice to a bench on the street.
Basically I’m just taking it easy this morning. My legs feel good. Moving around feels good. I guess I have things to do today and a lesson this afternoon. I did get a message from the boy’s father and he is extremely happy about all things but as usual, would like a few days before making the payment. Without problem. What else can I say?
***
It’s a quarter to two, I’ve been working for the last while and I have not even gotten to the bench yet. I don’t know what got into me. Or maybe I do. But suddenly, the spirit did indeed move me and I got up and went to the bathroom.
Okay, I’m joking but not really. I mean, that little detail is true but that’s not the story. The story is that the moment I finished with this intensely private business that I probably did not need to mention, there was the spirit I was waiting for.
I would not say that what I did was a big deal. It was just something normal that needs to be done. But I did it. I did it for the most part painlessly and therefore happily. In fact, this was the most pain free working session I have had probably since April. Again, I don’t mean to be too repetitious here but this is all I wanted to do here.
What I latched onto was one of our boxes where the only thing left over is a small cabbage and a line of sugar beets down the center. It occurred to me that I could basically button the whole thing up except for the stripe in the center and probably do the beats some good in the process. So that’s what I did. I dug in and cleaned out the grass growing in there as deeply as I could and then smoothed out the ground and gave it a little comb. After that, I got a bucket of fertilizer and spread it around carefully but evenly and then I topped it off with hey. It looks great, I felt really good doing it and as a bonus, I found a hearty meal’s worth of volunteer potatoes growing in there. Nice sized and clean. Who could argue with that?
Lena stopped by and called me from my work not once but twice. I guess she really was happy about that bag of kitty cat. She was basically on the way to one of my neighbors to help collect some potatoes and yelled my name over the fence both coming and going. I am very popular today.
We talked a little about this and that. She wants to help as much as she can but I’m sort of doing other things with the house cleaning these days. That platform in the war room and what will be the new site of at least my computers pretty much negates floor mopping. If anything, the carpet just needs to be brushed or even vacuumed. There is simply no more bare wood to mop.
All of this is nonsense. She is living alone again and this is what’s bothering her. I offered her to come and sit and drink some tea with me but she likes to keep busy. Like I said, I think I know where the Spirit came from.
After that, I put away some materials that have been laying around lately. I’ve been walking by them and walking by them and they just keep lying up against the house uselessly. Today I said enough was enough and I transported all of it into the barn for safekeeping.
While I was in there, I noticed that I have some extremely serious wood laying up in the rafters. This would be the kind of wood that you could glue together to make a butcher block or at the very least, a series of unbelievably excellent benches to sit on. I forgot I even had these things. Definitely something to put into the think tank and mull over.
At the moment, I’ve got about 2 hours until my English lesson. I’m in the kitchen Cafe again so I can’t help it that the bench is right in front of my eyes. Really, it’s not so much work to do what I want to do. I doubt it would take more than 30 minutes. I’m not particularly tired but maybe it’s a good idea to rest my leg. This project will be here tomorrow as well and even the next day. No one is in a rush but me. It’s hard to say what to do. Maybe when the spirit is with you, you should go with it. Or maybe, you should be practical minded and take it easy and spread things out. The quality of the work won’t be any different. It’s just a matter of time when it gets done.
You know what? I am a chronic malcontent. I think I’ll just go grab a pair of pliers and take care of the nasty nails sticking out of the backrest. As far as measuring and drilling in the rounded fence posts, that’s just a matter of pulling out the extension cord. Let’s go get this done already…
***
None of this is good news. But worse, it’s the truth. With Belarus getting into the war, the argument is there to spread Ukrainian forces out and to force them to pay attention to yet another front.
Or in my own opinion and more poetically speaking, Putin is creating a situation for zelinsky just like Israel. All he can do is ask for help but his enemies completely surround him. I told you this was an anti-semitic War.
This is from atalayar.com:
Belarus threatens to enter Ukraine’s war
Lukashenko has announced the deployment of a joint military force with Russia and accuses Kiev of planning attacks on Belarusian territory
Belarus threatens to take part in the war in Ukraine as the conflict escalates dangerously. After the explosion on the Kersh bridge – the link between Russia and occupied Crimea – and Russian shelling of civilian infrastructure in Zaporiyia and Kiev, Minsk is emerging as a new player in the conflict alongside Moscow, its main ally.
Dictator Alexander Lukashenko has accused Ukraine of “planning” attacks on Belarusian territory and agreed with Russia to deploy a joint regional military force during his meeting with President Vladimir Putin this weekend in St. Petersburg. The two leaders also discussed measures “in the event of the deployment of nuclear weapons in Poland”.
Lukashenko noted that the training of troops began a couple of days ago, coinciding with the attack on the Crimean bridge. “If you want peace, you must prepare for war,” said Lukashenko, who also warned that “it will not be just a thousand soldiers”.
Lukashenko has targeted other neighbouring countries such as Lithuania and Poland, which he accused, along with Ukraine, of training “extremist” Belarusians to carry out “terrorist” attacks and acts of sabotage. According to the dictator, this “has become a direct threat” against the country. He blamed the US and the European Union for harbouring “fugitives” from Belarus, increasing support “for destructive elements” and aggravating the situation.
This quote is from m.noninite.com:
“In connection with the tightening of the western borders of the Union State, we agreed to deploy a regional grouping of the Russian Federation and the Republic of Belarus. That’s all according to our documents. If the level of threat reaches the current level, as it is today, we start using the group of the Union State. The basis (I have always said it) of this group is the army, the armed forces of the Republic of Belarus. I have to let you know that the formation of this group has begun. It’s been going on, I think, for two days. I gave the order to start the formation of this group,” wrote Lukashenko, as quoted by the state news agency BelTA.
What does the Belarusian opposition say? Here’s Tikhanouskaya talking to French television:
***
The truth is I overdid it today. I really wanted to do some work and get some things done but I overdid it. I could pass the blame elsewhere. Those two extra visits from Lena maybe pushed me off of my pace. It’s a fragile thing that I’m working with. A moment of strength is not a fully functioning human being. A minor health breakthrough doesn’t mean that I’m throwing myself back out there to be used and abused.
I was told one time how wonderful it is to be used. I should probably say this phrase using the word needed. How wonderful to be needed. I can understand this from a market standpoint. When I was popular enough as a teacher, I agree that it felt good to be called as many times as I was called. Sure. The same applies to several social situations back in the day. I guess I could say that the converse is true and sometimes life is a bit empty without the phone constantly ringing and without specific social arrangements being made on a regular basis. The bigger we come the harder we fall. The higher we fly the longer the drop. But it’s not really that at all. It’s not even close to that.
in considering the attitude of the Belarus people as they are being asked to participate in a war that cannot in any way make genuine sense to them against what their eyes tell them to be true. I have been here for 20 years and I don’t remember a day of those 20 years where ukrainians were not part of “our people”. As infamous as I have portrayed that phrase, there is no possible way that anyone has ever considered Ukraine them. Until now.
Now, whatever justification is needed for practicing terrorism is just fine. What is obvious is that the people have been being trained. I saw this start in 2014 and now it is coming to fruition. The President says that of course we are going to war with Russia. Of course we are sending our men to kill and be killed. For what remains unclear. Why people need to give their lives is nonsensical. The hopelessness of the situation is real.
I truly believe in the anti-Semitism of the game. For the most part, it was an oil War but now they are practicing against Zelinsky the way they have been practicing against me. He is an object to base national pride against. He is obviously not one of ours and therefore we can do whatever we want as a group because we have power.
Lena told me that Ghenna gets drunk in the mornings now. He doesn’t even wait for the evening meal to start. Perhaps there is actually some State farm work for him to do but mostly he is in the bag from the moment his feet hit the floor. He’s also running his mouth. Apparently word on the street is that I am rich because I contemplated buying some topsoil. The cost was about 50 bucks and it would have rejuvenated my field. I want to spend 50 bucks on my garden and therefore I’m rich.
What is actually going through people’s minds right now. They cannot justify this except where they themselves are not obligated for military service. If a young person has the possibility of being drafted, there are those who will take the call and agree that it is their duty to their country. Others will truly think about why this is necessary. Everybody however is stuck and no one can figure out why they have to be like this.
You don’t actually get anything from being here. There is no magnificent lifestyle to defend. Most people spend their time whining and crying about how little money they have. A few people are clever enough and resilient enough and brutal enough to make some extra money. Some people find even European pay days. Lots of people buy big houses and spend money on themselves. The supermarkets are filled with shoppers spending lots of money. This is especially true on the holidays. I suppose they want to be seen as rich. Maybe they want to be seen as proper people throwing money away they don’t have on things they don’t need.
Basically the decisions being made are being made from fear. That’s all we do is play games with fear. It is the only currency that the Russians use. It is the only currency that state bosses use. Which is the only currency that the police use. It is the only currency that teachers in schools use. Everybody must be afraid. They must be afraid of losing their job. They must be afraid of being outside the group. They must be afraid of getting too much attention paid to themselves. They must be afraid.
I am afraid. I probably learned to navigate this jungle pretty well over the years and for the most part, I’m not particularly moved by my neighbors and their ridiculous machinations. They feel empty from my lack of reaction to their occasional tortures. There’s nothing I can do about it and it’s gotten old already. I just prefer to give them nothing. When they have to use their own energy they get tired. That’s the thing about vampires you know, if you don’t feed them they eventually go away. Not feeding them is the key to keeping vampires away from you.
I’m afraid of being attacked. I’m afraid of people coming at me with a head of steam. I’m afraid of people getting wound up and full of energy because of the possibility of an interaction with me. I am tired of being the object of people’s desire. I don’t like the conversations that ensue from this mindset and they really don’t need these interactions in my life. Quite a few people have gotten the handle of it and understand that I’m not interested in making friends anymore. They come in and do their job and leave as if somebody told them that’s the way to do it. I’ll accept that. We get to the end quicker.
My point is that nobody here really knows what the hell they are doing. Nobody thinks that there is a reaction to their actions. Nobody thinks about tomorrow. All anybody worries about is their image. All anybody worries about is having attention paid to them and having the vampires come to them to suck their blood the way they suck mine. The only thing that never changes is nobody ever wants to be me in their own life.
Yet here we are. Congratulations, we are officially cannon fodder. We are officially free to die for Vladimir Putin. We are free to die for a man who has done nothing but taken our money and laughed at us. They ruined our men and they raped our women and sold everybody they could into slavery. They made a mockery of life here and gilded themselves in pageantry and flattery. They sat up from their high place and pissed on our heads and made a smile and say thank you for the attention lavished. And now we get to pay with our lives. Now, we get to fight people that don’t give a damn about us. This is both sides.
Perhaps this is the great irony. Both the enemy we believe we are fighting, The Americans and the Europeans, and the enemy we are fighting for share the same attribute in that they do not give a shit about any of us here. We are a non-existent codependent sycophant country to the West and we are an unimportant unloved stepchild to the Russians. We are disposable. Our lives are meaningless. Our people are unattractive. We don’t even get to pretend we have pride. We never stood up to the Russians and consequently, we’ve never been invited into the international community, received billions of dollars and had our people seen with love and pity by the world as a whole. We will never be heroes in this.
Yeah, I ended up hurting myself. By the end of the day I couldn’t really walk anymore. I did finish that box and I did put away a bunch of things to make the place a bit cleaner. And I did pull those pesky nails from the backrest of the bench I made. Tomorrow is another day. Hopefully it’ll be normal. Hopefully they won’t start shooting missiles at us.
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