Wednesday, June 29th 2022
Russia is a terrorist organization
I personally see a connection between Russia’s choice to be unilaterally aggressive against Ukraine and the election of Zelinsky as president. I see this as antisemitism as much as anything. Listening to the president discuss war crimes specifically over missile attacks made against a busy marketplace, you get the kind of fervor that is ethnically and culturally connected. A friend of mine from Washington ironically sent me the following news item.
https://www.aol.com/news/man-101-convicted-being-nazi-083046104-113437594.html
Former Nazi guard, 101, jailed in Germany for aiding murder
BERLIN (AP) — A 101-year-old man was convicted in Germany of more than 3,500 counts of accessory to murder on Tuesday for serving at the Nazis’ Sachsenhausen concentration camp during World War II.
The Neuruppin Regional Court sentenced him to five years in prison.
The man, who was identified by local media as Josef S., had denied working as an SS guard at the camp and aiding and abetting the murder of thousands of prisoners.
In the trial, which opened in October, the centenarian said that he had worked as a farm laborer near Pasewalk in northeastern Germany during the period in question.
I have been talking about the manner in which Russia goes about doing its business for quite some time. I’m sure there are some personal reasons for my starting this writing project two and a half years ago but you cannot deny that a constant thread has been at least trying to make people aware of Russia’s MO. On a personal level, the Russian occupation of Ukraine was exactly the Russian occupation of Belarus. The difference was simply that Ukraine didn’t want it and Belarus at least publicly said thank you. I personally never understood the “we will die for you” sentiment. This was a public statement by the president himself. But then again, the president says a lot of things and doesn’t really worry too much about continuity between statements.
What I am saying is that absolutely no good comes from how Russia does business. It’s a matter of domination and power first and foremost. This is not diplomacy at any level. It’s pure fascism and force and it does things to people to be under such pressure. None of it good by the way.
I talk a lot on these pages about my relationship to locals. You of course could read it as my own mythampropy but I don’t really think that’s the truth. The truth is that I’m talking about voteless people who live under constant pressure that comes without the slightest thread of reason or even fairness. It is to know one’s place, to be aware of the violence of the repercussions and to understand that our lives are basically worthless in the eyes of the leadership. It’s an animal farm, no more and no less.
I am not fully believing in the benevolence of Europe. I am unaware that there is genuine benevolence from the United States although both groups like to delude themselves into believing that they are. Of course, I’m not winning friends or influencing people by saying what I see. But I have quite a few European and American friends and I will tell you that they will do nothing to harm themselves in any situation. Begging people never leads to anything good and looking for respect or fairness from power organizations is a pointless endeavor.
You can’t even say that the difference is a lack of brutality because that’s not true either. Seen from Moscow’s perspective, this little war is literally no different from any aggression from either NATO or American forces. Just a war like any other War. And really, you can talk from the perspective of several South American countries about what America is to them. You could ask several Middle Eastern countries the same thing. You could ask Afghanistan about their impression of either the Russians or the Americans and you’ll hear a wildly different story.
All I’m saying is that my Paradise Lost was very much connected to Russia’s ambitions and addiction to money. They are like pimps working their bitches with us and the texture of this rather polite place changed directly with the beginning of Russian aggression in 2014. I’m just saying that I have personally experienced this and have seen it with my own eyes.
I’ve also experienced American brutality during the same time frame. The world has gotten maniacal over the last 8 years. Blame the internet. Blame access politics being stuffed inside our algorithms. Blame the oil business for demanding constant hysteria for the purposes of keeping people moving around and keeping the economy moving. Blame greed. Blame the greed of Nations. All of this is true.
But what is also true is that we are talking about terrorism. Perhaps all wars are terrorism. Nevertheless, we do seem to live with an unnecessary amount of terrorism in our lives. Perhaps here more than in the states. But then again, if I lived in the United States, if I had kids going to school in the United States, I would perhaps be more fearful of gun violence because it would come from an infinitely wider range of potential shooters. You don’t have to worry about one country making aggressive movements, you have hundreds and hundreds of individual people with access to firearms.
Zelinsky says he will never forget. All Jews say we will never forget. I don’t know, you take a look around and it seems like nobody ever learned anything.
***
It’s 5:00 a.m. and I haven’t really done very much about getting out. I understand why everything is so damned physically difficult. I really wish I could catch a break from somewhere because it really is very hot and this water problem never seems to go away.
By the end of the day and especially by the end of the week, I’m pretty toasted. My legs don’t work very well after they’ve been beaten up. I get pretty sore and everything ends up being very painful. Literally, it’s a choice between accepting pain or just not moving anymore. It’s sadistic really. It’s hard to explain.
I’m supposed to get some medical relief but they are a month behind and now they’re not even taking my phone calls anymore. There are several organizations that theoretically I could call to find out if this social medicine thing will ever allow me some relief. My ex partner tells me that I’m not the only one suffering. But I am suffering and worse, I’m suffering without knowing. No matter what I do to try and speak in a reasonable manner to the bureaucrats, I can’t get simple answers. They won’t tell me how to play the game. They just keep saying shit to me and expecting me to live with it passively.
It’s like having a second group of Florida relatives. Literally, it’s like having Florida run the whole country.
Nevertheless, I don’t really see how I have any choice. Sure, the garden takes a genuine beating In the heat of the afternoon but things perk up in the morning. I believe it’s too much wilting. I don’t see this as being happy at all.
Among the things I definitely will remember is the amount of mulch and the type of mulch I use. I used Forest leaves but I’m not really convinced it’s very effective. I purchased a couple of bags of chipped wood bark and it genuinely seems as though the plants that are surrounded by this are a lot happier. I have five grape Vines starting out and two of them have bark mulch and three of them have grass and it is visually apparent that the wood bark works better.
I’m definitely going to go this direction and next year, regardless of what we grow in the boxes, I am going to mulch the vegetables as well. You have to do everything possible to keep as much moisture as possible in the boxes. I will give up a little bit of mold just to be able to save the water.
But as far as the water system goes, I really don’t have much of a choice but to go into town and do my thing today. I can stretch out a little bit and take my time. I not only need at least 6 or 8 m of quality 1 inch hose and appropriate couplings for the intake of the water pump, I might also go ahead and invest in a slightly better downspout system for the end of the barn roof. It’s just a couple of pieces to add.
I also might pick up some more nuts. I mean, if I am going to town, I might do well to maximize my stay.
I also think I’m going to go to the other train station that is just a little bit further away. The point is to maybe avoid riding on that service road. We haven’t had any rain and those kilometers are just misery when the sand starts to go deep. Going the other direction means only one mile of dirt road to get out of town and then I have to contend with these bloody polish paving stones. None of this is enjoyable bike riding but at least the amount of sand you have to ride through is minimized. Misery upon misery upon misery.
The weather report again says that we will have rain today at 11:00 and 4:00. They missed both of them yesterday. There wasn’t a drop. I will take all I can get. Both for the ability to fill up my tanks and to give me a break from having to do the watering myself. If there is any truth whatsoever to these weather reports, I will have plenty of chances to rest and recuperate.
I understand that this life I’m living right now is not very enjoyable. I don’t really have too much comfort to look forward to. I definitely don’t have it easy. I’m not trying to make a public statement or be a show off. I agree that sometimes it gets pretty daunting. I feel like saying something positive about how experiencing more difficult texture means a wider range of possibilities. I’m not really sure that you do enjoy the UPS after more profound Downs. I think actually it’s just a matter of having to tolerate more pain.
I didn’t move here out of a sense of masochism. If I had had a crystal ball or someone I absolutely trusted to tell me what the future would hold for me, I might not have come here. Then again, I did get a bunch of really good years. I got things here that I never ever could have had staying in the states. I was extremely happy here for quite a long time. Successful in my business, a little bit of a family starting and a lot of respect from the people around me.
And then there were the Russians.
Again, I don’t want to express any of this romantically. I’m not working for any governments right now. Technically, I’m not working for anybody right now. It’s been a long, long road and I’ve certainly paid my dues. And it seems I have some more to pay today. Nothing comes easy. Nothing ever comes easy.
But then I run into one more point. If I take a day off, If I quit doing this work generally. If I give in to the pain and say I simply can’t do this anymore. It’s not just that I’m afraid of losing some measure of life in my life, I will lose my life. I do not believe I can simply agree to sit for the rest of my days. I’ve met people who live in chairs. I spent time in a convalescent hospital looking at people who will never get out of their chairs or their bed. I’ve seen what happens to people when they give up their movement.
No, it really shouldn’t be as hard as it is but that doesn’t really matter. A lot of things could have gone differently in my life. A lot of things that I learned much too late in life could have come into my head earlier. I could have had certain breaks that I have seen people get. I remember being astonished at how some people are invested in and some people get to grow up in reasonable households with practical parents and understandable rules. I’ve had to come by my wisdom the hard way. Again, I’m not trying to present myself as a romantic figure. I’m just saying that I had to come up without too much help except for hands trying to push me down.
The only other thing to say is that now crawling on my life would not be better if I Incorporated meat into my diet. I absolutely do not believe that any of the things I have done this year or I’m doing would be possible if I were eating meat. Nothing I am doing now or have been doing would be possible if I were drinking alcohol. The amount of recovery that I have and to be able to come back every day to go back at it again, regardless how ridiculous it gets by the end of the day or in serious heat, if I were not running on vegan food, I would not even be close. It wouldn’t even be a contest.
I remember my life before I got rid of the meat quite clearly. I remember who I was, what I felt like and how limited my sense of vision was. No, I would not change this for anything in the world. True, there were a few pleasures perhaps that I had during this time that are not available to me now. But with genuine overview, I’m telling the truth now and I was lying then.
I mean, you have to be able to live with yourself. You have to be able to trust your own senses. You can’t just continue living a lie in the hopes that you’ll die before anyone figures out who you are. This life might be harder, but at least it’s grounded in reality.
So yeah, it’s worth it. It would be nice if the bureaucracy stepped up and did their job. I’m getting tired of waiting for these phone calls that never come. Lots and lots of alcoholic meat eaters in the bureaucracy don’t you know. And of course, there are always the Russians.
I’m thinking of another green smoothie. Maybe I’ll make the smoothie without the oatmeal and pour the smoothie over the oatmeal. That might make a nice cool breakfast. A few nuts, some seeds and fresh Garden greens over oatmeal. I think that’s a good way to start the day.
***
It’s about 8:30 and I’m pushing towards getting ready to leave for the day. The pickles are starting to put out runners which is good. A couple of the beans have already started to curl themselves around The wigwam sticks I made for them. One of my fruit trees though is looking very sad. It doesn’t like the intense heat. It needs water and I won’t be able to do anything about it until later today.
The cabbage is and the beets continue to do there happiness sadness act. In the late afternoon, they lay down and shrivel up as if they are dead and in the morning they stand up looking for the Sun. When I look at the leaves however, I can see that this is not the way they wish to live. They look beat up already. I can see the beats taking on size underneath them, but the leaves do not look healthy.
I went through the potato garden briefly. I found perhaps three leaves that had been chosen as egg layers. Sorry to say those nurseries are no more and neither are three Beatles that I found. It doesn’t really take a lot of time to go through the potato box. It’s only one box, that was our choice. Maybe I would have thought differently if they would have bothered to bring by a cart load of shit. I’ve been getting by quite okay without it but if they had, we might have put more potatoes in. As it stands, I’ve got to figure out how to get rid of potatoes already. Potatoes do not last forever. And worse, I understand that if you want to compost them, you have to cook them first. More work. More misery. Next year, if I even need them, I’m buying potatoes.
They say that we will get rain today. There is a large percentage of a chance that we will have wind and rain at 11:00 and then at 4:00 in the afternoon. I’ll believe it when I see it. If not, I will hopefully be able to pump my well to add some water to some of the shagging buckets and then I will go into one of those buckets and try again to water the field. I’ll give extra emphasis to the trees today.
I also did it wash today. Nothing special to think of or talk about. Mostly just rinsing out shirts. I’ve been sweating a lot. It’s only 8:30 a.m. and I’m already sweating. It really is brutal already and it’s only the end of June.
What is the record temperature for this day and this place? According to this question, one weather service tells us that we are at the absolute maximum range of what this region has to offer. Thank you very much. No wonder the trees are dying.
Yeah, it’s merciless right now. It’s not even 9:00 a.m. and it’s already broiling.
I wonder exactly how fucked up it has to be before people take notice. I mean this. When I tried to deal with my thieving cousin last year, a member of the press told me that my story didn’t have enough blood for them. She said this in sort of a “you don’t understand our people” sort of way. It was strange hearing these words in English for a change. Her point was the people don’t really pay much attention unless there is absolute blood and savagery. They are too numbed by it all. I can see that. This Ukrainian war was enough to break through and make something happen. I understand now. You have to displace up to 10 million people and shoot bombs at public squares in order for people to take notice. And hey, they got some money and some guns. Just what they wanted, money and guns and for people not to like Russia. And all they had to do was sacrifice a quarter of their population.
Have I mentioned before that this is the stupidest generation in the history of History? That’s one of my catchphrases you know. The stupidest generation in the history of History. I made that up myself.
***
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