I’ve been told I only have 10 paragraphs to work with here. This is kind of like an awards speech perhaps but I don’t really think so. But it is the end of the week and effectively, the end of the high holy days. Not really. Today is Shabbos and then Sunday is Yom Kippur. Very sad day. No food. 

I guess what I’m saying is that I’m at the end of my non-working work week. Why did I write this week? I wrote because I wanted to. I wrote because my body does this. I wrote because my body is also attached to my brain which makes its own decisions and cannot turn off quite like my body can. If I separate my mind from my body and I say that my mind absolutely runs my decisions, then effectively I end up with a sweaty meat bag to order around. I can think of this meat bag friend of mine anyway I want. Maybe he’s my defender or maybe he’s just the guy who carries me off to market to make my decisions. Maybe he’s my dog. Maybe he’s just a lazy bum who doesn’t really want to do much of anything anymore. Even good dogs get old.

It’s difficult when you have an active mind. I have the sneaking feeling that all human minds are active when they start out fresh. We develop in the womb with a layer or two of material that is very soft and prevents harsh things from happening to us. And then, when we get to be sufficient size to come out into the world and start breathing air, out we come. No more protective layers. Just us. I imagine it is really hard to measure this particular moment of life because you can’t really get a baby’s response in language. You have to really want to know whether the baby is happy or not. You really have to pay very delicate attention. Is the baby happy in this new environment?  And then of course are we aware of the difference between letting a baby see and learn and how much we demand it to learn as propaganda in its acceptance of us and all of our failures? How hard are we working to make sure this baby is comfortable so it can grow strong and healthy? 

My point is that what living thing is not actively asking what is going on around it? We have a living thing. It wishes to be. It understands food and comfort and light and movement. Who am i? Who are you? What is this? What does this do? What is this thing that is in front of me? How do I move? How do I talk? Can you hear me? Do you understand me? Do I understand you? How is this not an active mind? How is this not curiosity?

So how much human potential do we crush because of our own selfish habits and need for noise? And how much of this need for serious rock and roll comes from some subliminal advertising established to stop you from wondering why you need such loud noises? What has happened to our environment that we crave really beautiful loud noises? I say it’s the addition of all of these motherfucking machines. You can say I’m up on my soapbox, you can say something about God or religion, you can point fingers and call me bad names and talk about nationalities and associations and betrayals and guilt and la la who have I been fucking? None of this means anything. Maybe it’s that we have been dealing with the sound of machines in our lives. Maybe, we can just stop the requirement of this natural adaptation to the noise of machines and simply stop the machines. Maybe the soft tissue in human ears does not enjoy the sound of machines. Maybe we are not supposed to be living with all of these bloody fucking horrible machines and the poisons that come along with them.

I need to add a note. Maybe this is too disturbing for younger readers and despite all of my extremely clean thoughts of non diseased sexuality existing in the world as a part of life. I want to edit one picture from the new edition of The Utopian which is out now but not on sale because it’s free because it’s a matter of commerce on the high holy days.  This picture comes from that really groovy moment when my neighbor sauntered outside to pick up a pumpkin from his garden. He was looking sexy. At the moment I felt like I had made a good contribution with all of my thoughts about eating pumpkins and health and especially male health. The edit on the picture though is that he was smoking a cigarette when he went out to pick the pumpkin and then later, I saw him scurrying literally across the road to visit my neighbor. Again, if there was even moderate kosher in any of this picture I would feel so good about it. I am not opposed to the homosexuality at all. Maybe it’s the cigarette smoking. What do you think?

I’m fighting clothing. I’m fighting the clothing we wear. It seems so trite. It is such a thing. We laugh at nudity or thoughts of nudity in the media. I remember enjoying nude beaches. Why did I like them? I liked looking at naked bodies. I liked being in the sand and in the water and I enjoyed the feeling of the air against my skin. I liked swimming. I liked diving. And, you know, making love outside is not horrible. And now I’m getting towards the season where it’s getting colder. I’m already building fires which should not really be necessary for even another month. That is, if I was still wearing clothes. I know I have to put my clothes back on. I know I do. I don’t want to embarrass anybody already. I just don’t want to.

There are definitely some nuances about Zen vegan Judaism. I’m not claiming this to be a thing. It’s not about branding although technically, it could be a great brand and maybe we generate some money to actually build some of this crazy shit. Would I actually participate in a functioning model? I am participating in a functioning model. The only problem is that my physical people are very slow to act. I might have a genuinely authentic connection to get some good kapusta from the market in town. I might have that connection done. At least some part of this amazing machine I have roaming around in my head is getting done. On the pedal power generator, we are silent, on the solar panel business, we are silent. I apparently have a spy working for the government but I’m not sure what government he works for and I’ve got enough Russians to make sure nothing ever comes out right. The only real point of this is that I am doing all of this without putting too much of a burden on the planet. All of my actions and investitures were towards these ends. I can also say that my actions were clean and true when dealing with other people. The people are not quite in tune yet but perhaps it just needs more practice. When things are not how you like them, that’s what you have to do. You have to fix the mistakes and go back and practice some more until you get it perfect. And if you come to the conclusion that you need to practice, welcome to Zen vegan Judaism. Maybe, it’s the way. And hey, it’s DIY. Just read the book.

It’s also important to remember the mathematics of your practice. There is a threshold for baseball players that’s called replacement level. It is the place where they can no longer play the game well enough to call themselves Major Leaguers. Or in a smaller sense, even being able to get out on the field and man a position. Play a position. If you are the Forward thinking engineer type, you might think of the mathematical possibilities of success before trying out. At this point it’s just a matter of threshold. If it was easy, everybody would be doing it and if the place you are aspiring to only allows a thin chance, well, you just have to ask yourself if it’s worth it or not. And if you believe in your heart it is, you just make a plan that takes you from here to there in a way that you think would be worth taking. And after that, try writing it down and see what that does for you. See if it changes your life.

Final thoughts: The Godfather reminds us that they will betray us. My personal history tells me that they will betray us. Jesus Christ told us that they would betray him. Moses got angry as hell because they had betrayed him. I looked through my neighbors eyes and I see that they are worried about who is going to betray them. I go across the street from them and look through their eyes and I understand that they are counting the number of times that they have been betrayed. Next door to them is one person who absolutely counts the times he is betrayed daily. On the other side are people who have left because they were betrayed. After them are people so loud that they cannot even hear betrayal anymore. They just like to betray other people but don’t actually like to be betrayed themselves. There is more betrayal in the region but I think you understand my point. Do we actually need this treachery? Listen. Here’s my promise, okay? I’m not going to attack you over Shabbos. Actually, I’m not going to attack you on the day leading up to Shabbos and I have no particular intention of wasting energy the day after Shabbos which is Yom Kippur. I’m just going to take it easy and try to enjoy some fresh air and the world wow we’re waiting for it to get cold.