Where am I right now?

Right now I am on the couch in my office on the wet spot. The couch has a wet spot and I have been situating myself on the other side, in fact let’s go back to the other side. There, much better. I hate to bring up issues of homophobia but this technically is the Cleopatra seat and this is exactly Cleopatra time of year. I am 2 weeks into the war against the mutation of nature that man has propagated. If my legs worked, I probably wouldn’t have any problem. If I didn’t have to suffer from covid, I probably wouldn’t have anything to worry about. If people would stop coming to my house and infecting me, I probably would not have anything to worry about. Actually, if human beings just left me alone, I’d probably be pretty healthy within a couple of weeks.

What has happened today?

The ex partner called and said she wanted to come up. I gave her a strict set of rules to follow. She was to bring instruments to carry food home and I would supply gloves and a bucket. I recommended that she pulls some weeds if she had the energy to it and that the hose could be used by pressing the button on the converter box. Everything was going fine until I decided to check if she had locked the gate. Try as I might, I could not get a good enough view to see. I texted her. There was no answer. Obviously she was not with her telephone and this made me have to speak to her, the one thing I didn’t want to do.

The conversation was pretty short. I gave the command in a good voice for a command. I think I screamed a few serious episodes on my way to the window to have to speak to this person. It was physically painful for me to get up, my joints have been completely fucked up with this covid and I’m just today getting a little better. And then the Russian pantomime started. They do not use speech as their first form of communication. Their first form of communication is to move. They do not think about what they do at all which is why they are such efficient killers of themselves. She could have looked me in the eye and said I have closed it. She could have done it in English or in Russian or she could have made a hand signal followed by a thumbs up and it would have been finished. But instead she mumbled and then moved and then mumbled and moved as if she was caught in some vortex. Finally the thought came to her to say that she had closed it.

This gave me pause. If it was my mistake, I needed to acknowledge it immediately and I did. I apologize for my Sharp tone. And then I just added one sentence which I thought would add clarity and at least allow me the hope that I had fully communicated my wishes to this human being. I simply asked her if she understood that these are my emotions towards her. At this point, she could have nodded. She could have said I understand and pretty much any language in the world. She could have raised an okay sign in her fingers. She could have been stylish and bow a bit or perhaps sarcastic and make a salute towards me as a soldier. Instead she chose to tell me that it was her turn to talk.

And I just told her to shut the fuck up. I said it three or four times. Literally and logically there was nothing she could possibly say. If she wanted some vegetables and she wanted to get out in the country for the day, she helped build the place and by God she’s entitled to what she can take home. But she doesn’t need to pay any attention to me and I don’t need to know anymore from her. We ain’t together and we’re not going to be together and a friend of mine always asks me why, if she’s my ex partner, she’s still around. Indeed, indeed, indeed.

She said that she was leaving which is usually what she does when she’s upset. I had no intention of stopping her. I told her to take her keys and to just go. But on her way out, she decided to practice one more bit of annoying stupidity and tried to close the lock on the inside from the outside. I think I added two or three just go’s, she showed me one finger that said I am number one, I think for sure she was referring to me, and then the town noise, stench and covid was gone.

What happened over the weekend?

I slept. I managed to water on Friday but it was a brutal affair. My knee felt like it was in shreds, the hose would not behave and kept thinking and I just didn’t have the legs to go back and fix it every time. The word cocksucker probably came out a few times. You know, if people hear believe that I have tourette’s, I think I might have a causal effect of tourette’s. Crazy, right?

Friday night I did my stick but I did not head right to the kitchen. I hadn’t eaten all day and I wasn’t hungry at all. I was just sick. I did cheer up a few minutes later. I noticed it was still light and I remembered that my first two zucchini have finally arrived. I know, everybody makes jokes about zucchini and how abundant they are. Fuck you! They are abundant and they are juicy. They are perfect bloody vegetation. Don’t make fun of one of the greatest foods in the world! Everything is edible and the flowers are tasty if you don’t mind killing a flower that will cause more zucchinis to come. Zucchini means the end of hunger. If you have zucchinis and pumpkins and potatoes, you’re not going to be hungry. I guess I’m also growing a lot of corn this year. Not like a field of corn. This is my Three Sisters garden and the pickle patch to keep my neighbors warm at least for a month or so while they are ripe. I don’t know whether or not marinated pickles work as dildos during the winter. Well, it’s vinegar based, right? Probably couldn’t hurt.

I think somebody calls it a courgette. Courgette is French, zucchini is Italian. Wait a minute. קישוא. Kishu. Let’s go with that one going forward. Anyway, I knew that my first two kishuim were ready on the field and no matter how sick I was, there was no way that is zucchini was going to cause me any problems. I hadn’t prepared anything or made any bread but the thought that was in my head was for battered zucchini. Gosh that made me happy. Little salt and pepper and nothing else. So I went out on the field, I took a knife with me, you know just for safety, and a delicately carved away these two young ladies. The mother plants didn’t seem to mind too much. In fact, they promised to make more and beg me to take as many as I wanted. It’s a bitch being an ima.

Back in the kitchen, the thought of adding fat grossed me out. So I pulled my homemade steamer off the wall and filled it with Kishu, oatmeal for the breading, onions and garlic and well chewed on kale leaves and let the magic happen. To give the appearance of Shabbos, I put some wheat porridge and some simple beans for protein into another pot with water. A few minutes later I brought one bowl with me back to death row and it wasn’t bad.

What happened last week?

Last week was one of those weeks where all of the neighbors that don’t live here and have no business here and shouldn’t even be here except to play with my neighbor, which consequently gives them the right to play with me being as the police department of this city has demanded that she has the right of ownership over me. I was threatened with a gun and I have been threatened with deportation if I do not listen to this psychotic woman. Any wonder where PTSD comes from? I have a causal. However, aside from all the weed whacking that got me a couple of films and a couple of views to my YouTube channel, they also all brought their town covid with them. It seems amazing to me in retrospect but the Russians just don’t want to listen to anything. They ignore like ignoring was the way of life. What am I talking about? Ignoring is the way of life.

How I came to understand that I am violently allergic to stupidity?

I think there is some logic to the fact that perhaps we should not tell anyone what to do unless they are stupid. Okay, is this an offensive word? Maybe. Say it in Hebrew. I don’t give a damn. The only people who need to be told what to do are truly stupid people. Not lazy people who can’t do the work to get their brains moving in the morning and do some thought exercises to make sure that their senses are keen and they know what they are doing. If you can’t wake up and check yourself maintenance to see what level of health you’re in and make a decision of what you need to do to make this day better, they can learn. They can change. Unless they’re stupid. And if this is the case, we need to teach them this, step by step until they stop being stupid or at least stop seeming stupid.

It also occurs to me that the mathematics here would be that smart people should do the teaching. If you have such a thing as information and it requires being shared for the betterment of all, we would think that the smart people would be in charge of it. You don’t want stupid people being in charge of the information because they are stupid people and they will just fuck it up. I live with stupid people and I tell you that they kill everything they touch. Not just nature but their own children. You can’t argue with them, they will just ignore you. Why? Because they are stupid people. Or in my case physically malicious and malevolent criminals.

Or to put a period at the end of the sentence, there is absolutely no reason for a stupid person to even open their mouth in front of a smart person unless they are asked. The drop necessary is so physically taxing has to be painful. To have your attention ripped from you daily by stupid people starts to eat at you. The Russians call this allergic. What do you do to stop vicious malevolent criminals from coming to you with their problems? I’m not talking about life problems or money problems or some need for some intelligence in their life, they just want money that they are too stupid enough to get because they are too fucked up on narcotics to understand the difference. I am violently allergic to this place.

What is the cure?

We agreed to change. We agreed to stop being stupid. We agree to stop being stupid. Gosh, that’s such a great sentence I could say that like 50 times in a row and it would never get old. We could just stop being stupid. Just figure it out. Figure out how to park your car on the other side of your lot. This is my neighbor. If you can’t figure it out because you’re too stupid, ask me because I’ll have the job done in an hour or so and if you let us do it right, we’ll bring you a load of fertilizer to cover the shit land that you destroyed with the car and we’ll even see it with wild flowers so your children can have a nice place to go walking. And you can put that car as far away from life as possible and the only thing I could possibly be better, as if you actually let the thought into your head what you’ve been doing for however long you’ve been doing it.

This goes for everybody. Unless you’ve invested in an electric vehicle, and God bless you if you have, but either we readjust our entire system of living to not require gasoline or there is no life on this planet that isn’t sick. I’m telling you that from ground zero 52 degrees north latitude. We either change our style of universal life and get rid of whatever this stupidity is that we call normal, or we are the stupidest people in the history of history.

Now, I went vegan and now everybody hates me. Why? Because now I hate everybody. Actually, that’s not true. Being vegan doesn’t make you hate people. Being vegan makes you more empathetic. The problem is is that there are no other empathetic people except for vegans and the rest of everyone is simply in love with handing out violent stress and being inhospitable neighbors. The entire rest of the sick world believes themselves happy as carnivores without ever realizing the damage that they do with this lifestyle of hate and death and blood. And if we remember that all of our strength, like from steroids but more, all of our power comes from using resources and not our own bodies. If we would just allow our bodies to go back to work and stop using machines, we would all be a lot healthier within a couple of weeks. And it’s not so hard to stop eating meat. The problem is, it’s a decision for health so the first time you do it, not only do you not feel pressured and in pain, you just sort of feel light and happy. It takes about 3 days for it to fully take effect and for most people they start to wonder why they had never tried this before. When you get sick, bean soup instead of chicken soup and you’ll be fine.

What are my plans for today?

What is this picture?

It’s hot so I’m going to have to water. I should maybe take a stab at doing it but it’s going to be hell. It’s going to be crutches. But, if you have to do it you have to do it. And there’s a lot of work to do. But I can’t do it today. I can’t do it if I can’t walk. I could do it if I was just sick, but sick and not being able to walk just too much. Today I can’t fight the war but I’ll do the best I can.

What are my plans for this week?

I don’t over simplistic level, there is no place because the oil business is everywhere. Can I create a one-way ticket that doesn’t take too much of my life that drops me in a similar circumstance but without the Nazi neighbors? Unfortunately no because I don’t have the money. Why? Because you fuckers ain’t buying or selling my books. And I’m even talking about relatives who only think of me for money. Goodness gracious, stupid people, this is their money. Go to work. Get out the briefcase. Go sell it. Don’t know how to sell it, god, you are stupid! Ask me. I’m not stupid. I’m dying but I’m not stupid.

Basically though I’m thinking Canada. I think this week I need to write some letters to the embassy explaining my problem in English. I’m also kind of thinking of selling my story to the Guardian. This is also in English. I said that wrong. They don’t need to pay me. No, I said that wrong too. If they offer money I will take it. There, that works. I just want them to print the story. Why? I’m an advocate. I’m an activist. I’m an ecologist (just as a side note, it is amazing that Google cannot really comprehend the word ecologist).

Why not Israel? I’m sorry, they might have pockets of veganism and they might really love weed, but they can’t get along with their neighbors because everyone keeps driving cars in Israel. In fact, that is the greatest thought in the entire world. What if Israel called the meeting with all of the Arab states and stated that they wished to make the entire country of Israel a park dedicated to Nature and ecology. They would use only solar power and if there was a genuine need for it, such as a taxi cab or a tram, electric vehicles. Only clean energy, foot traffic and bicycles. Just leave us alone for 10 years, 5 years, and if you don’t think the place is incredibly beautiful, blow us off planet. If you do think it’s beautiful, we will happily give as many ecological and agricultural suggestions is necessary to do something about the insistent desertification of the region. I hear the Chinese have figured some stuff out too.

It also might be that the white people who made all of the decisions at the end of World War II took care of many things at the same time by allowing the Jews to go back to Jerusalem and Israel. I think they knew that their use of fossil fuels was going to eventually cause problems. Genuine science already understood this 45 years into the previous century. They probably figured it was a good way to get all the Jews and Arabs cancer and in the meanwhile, they could do all the work and the white people could reap all the profits. It’s too fucking hot. I like it to be cooler.

Oh yeah, and I’m putting together a book that no one’s going to care about. It’s a book of short stories called something. Did you know that there was a font called Utopia? Theoretically, I could go through the motions and I tried. Sans serif font is close enough.

What are my dreams for the future?

I don’t know. It’s not really utopian thinking. Is any of this bullshit going to change? Maybe yes or maybe no and I would like to see the harvest to completion. But it’s unlivable here. They may think that it’s wonderful to make things unlivable for a Jew, but they’re just poisoning themselves and their children if I haven’t said that too often. They are stupid people. I’m allergic to stupid people. I am violently allergic to stupid people.