Thursday, August 18th 2022
It’s already 8:30 in the morning. I missed my morning session today. I woke up a little bit late and had to start moving. When there is work going on, you have to be there for it. Probably this is one of the reasons why I ask for help. It gives me an inspiration to move when otherwise I probably would have found a reason not to.
Lena has already been here and the poles are shiny and clean. For some reason, she always makes a point of adding advertising and propaganda about how good of a job she does. I don’t know why she bothers to do that when I’m standing right there and looking with my own eyes. Most probably, this is a Russian affectation. They live and die with fake news. By the way, fake news is another way to say propaganda and propaganda is another way to say fake news. I think the American conservatives use the word spin. It’s all the same bullshit.
I also had a thought about my neighbors and fake news/propaganda/spin. It occurred to me that one of the reasons they felt themselves so free to shit on me even on the first day that I was here was a feeling of absolute superiority on their part. Believe it or not, this would be intellectual superiority. I do not believe for a moment that either of them are Mensa candidates. I do not believe Mensa has openings for hysterical chickens and henpecked heart disease patients. But in their laziness and sense of entitlement, they definitely played the superiority card. Go figure.
As to why they played this card, it would seem only cultural. Russia has been relying on propaganda to control their people for so long that folks don’t even have another way of understanding the world. Lena herself never stopped gossiping and telling me the news from the town. Along with the news, she also provides commentary. She has opinions about everybody. If you listen long enough, you get the idea that we have sympathy for the women and we dismiss the man as garbage. I’ve never heard a woman in this town say a good word about a man nor have I ever heard a woman say a bad word about another woman. Can we call that spin? I go with spin.
In this case though, the hunchback across the street also practices this. If I were to point out how many feminine traits the guy actually has, he might get angry at me. Not that I care. But he also runs his mouth and believes he is a part of something. He loves this “we” business and as long as part of his “we” provides him with occasional money to do services, well, you see how this goes.
Why did my neighbors call the cops on me for asking Lena to clean my floor? Very simple. If I turn into an employer in this town, I rise. If I rise, they lose a part of their constituency in their political battle to be the biggest assholes in this village. That makes sense. Their star has already faded. You can tell by the sense of quiet that permeates my life. They are already seething in self-hatred.
But staying on the point of my neighbors for a minute, the real gist of this is how much effort they put into covering over their crimes. They absolutely aggressively did things to harm my life, got lucky with the nationalism of our skinhead cop and then went on to believe that they are absolutely in possession of non smelly shit. They believe they could do no wrong and be as harmful as possible and never suffer the slightest repercussion. Of course, having that kind of power did not come with any responsibility on their part. Any sexual fantasies that my neighbor might have towards me, I’m talking about him or her, must have exploded through the back of their heads. I imagine the only way they had sex was to think about harming me. Amazing what happens to people when they live out here.
Now they are very quiet which probably means complete impotence. Of course, we can also blame their diet for that. You don’t have to take my word for it, here is another video about how meat causes arteriosclerosis. If you ever wanted to know what impotence was about, you can start here.
Anyway, the point of all of this is that everything is on levels and all levels seem to require brute force in order to enforce themselves. This is as old as time as I suppose are my intellectual arguments against fascism and brutality as a means of exploitation of resources. My resources I mean not only unsustainable dinosaur resources but also the resources of humans and other animals living on the planet. It’s one bloodlust after another and it is, without saying, completely unsustainable. Proof of that statement is everywhere over the previous three million or so words that I have written here.
I myself am thinking about taking legal action against my neighbors. I do not believe that illegal action would do any good. I don’t believe in it because I don’t believe the legal system is fair in any way shape or form and I do not believe that they would listen to me in any case because of political reasons. Also, even if they did, trying to enforce the laws never means anything and everyone would just stand around staring at each other and smiling over how smart they were. No, that is not the answer.
The only possible answer is a compromise.
Here’s my best idea. Without going into the entire story of how this mess started, on the day that the cops were called on me, my intentions of visiting were to advise that perhaps if they changed their parking habits, we might not have any more problems between us. Every time they drive they’re shitty cars, they spew auto emissions into the region of my territory and right into the kitchen where I prepare food. This ruins the air and puts a cloud of poison all over my life. Why they believe that poisoning me is something that they are entitled to do or shouldn’t worry about doing is there on personal insanity. I advise them to go to the doctor and have their blood checked for lead. My thinking is that they are insane from the lifestyles that they live.
Recently though, I came up with yet another idea that would bring peace to all concerned. This thing would require almost no money or effort, frankly if it did require money or effort I would happily pay for this, but all they would have to do is move their driveway from one side of their property to the other.
Let’s be fair about this. They do not have a paved driveway. There is no pavement anywhere near where I live. It’s literally just a hole in the fence leading to the place in back of their house where they Park their cars. They have no garage back there, they do not shade their vehicles from sun or rain. Literally it’s just a path that they follow with some sense of usualness to go and return from their house.
Just to be specific again, when they come home they drive straight into their property. This is not a particular problem for me except that the sound of their ridiculous vehicles inspires hatred in me. The problem is when they leave. They don’t actually have enough room to turn around and drive straight out so they are obliged to back up to leave their property. When they back up they have to make a left turn which is what points the rear of their car towards my property and spews what I have with poison gas.
My suggestion to them, and this is what started our entire propaganda War of anti-semitism, was that if they just took the trouble to back into their house and drive straight out the problem would disappear. The decision to fight the Jewish American rather than simply change their parking habits as a way to be reasonable and kind to a neighbor making a request for cleaner ecology has been one and a half years of anti-Semitic political war.
Like I said, some people will go to any length to cover up their crimes.
Now, they do not do extensive agriculture. The opposite side of their property is just grass. They also have no neighbors living in direct proximity to the opposite side of their property. Literally it would be about opening one part of the fence and closing the other. By doing this, they would cancel out a significant portion of air pollution coming into my house. They would also cancel out a tremendous amount of noise pollution that they make. In addition to this, they would be lessening the amount of air pollution they bring into their own house and onto their own property. In fact, I believe they keep chickens right near where they keep the cars. I don’t wish to be too persnickety about this, but I don’t know the amount of lead poisoning they put into their chickens which ends up in their eggs which ends up in their bodies which ends up in all of that plaque and cholesterol causing heart disease in the henpecked husband. This also would talk about the learning disabilities of the grandchild.
What would it do for me? I’ve got an area of my garden where the trees don’t grow. When I ask myself why they don’t grow there, the first question is about drought but the second one seems to point out that the place where they Park their cars has already poisoned that land so much that absolutely nothing would grow there.
I have not spoken to them about this and I haven’t been to town nor gotten a lawyer or started any court cases. The point of this is though, that if they just made this one gesture of kindness, the war between us would end. We would not become friends. I want to make that as clear as possible so that everyone who reads these words forever and ever will understand this, we have no reason for a friendship whatsoever. I want no business entanglements with this family and I do not want any cooperation or need anything from them. However, it will remove a great portion of hatred between us and we would probably have a slightly nicer place to live in with the hatred and War gone.
Let me also repeat, that I would happily pay for labor and materials to make this change. To close up one side of their fence and open up the other would be on my nickel, parts and labor.
As to why I am thinking about this so seriously right now it is because I am preparing for winter. It is a nuance of cold weather that with the absence of warm air convection going up in the sky, auto emissions tend to stay lower to the ground and therefore a significantly larger percentage ends up staying in the breathing air. Again, it’s not just for me, it’s for them and their own health benefits. When the winter comes, we breathe in a significantly higher percentage of shit. I’m not even beginning to go into the fact that they burn charcoal briquettes over there for heating. I only use wood.
So again, just to make it clear, here is my proposition in bullet points.
I suggest that they move the driveway of their property from one side to the other for the following positive results:
- For me, it would lessen the ecological impact of their miserable cars because my kitchen would no longer be sprayed with their auto emissions every time they leave their house. This also includes the noise pollution from their miserable old vehicles.
- This would also limit the amount of ecological damage done to their own property, both to their own breathing air and to the food they eat.
- There would be no difference as to their parking area because they do not have a garage nor do they cover their cars.
- They are not using the land on the opposite side for any purpose and it is farther away not only for me, but away from every other person living in the area. Literally, this would be a move that makes everybody healthier.
- It will not cost them a penny to do this and as an ancillary benefit, though we will not become friends, we will no longer have any hatred between us. They will be free to live their lives and work on their heart attacks to their heart’s content but will leave me in peace.
That was pretty big digression. I understand why I did that. I am packing away at my phone while staring at their miserable house. It will be many years before my trees grow up enough to block them from my view. Perhaps I won’t feel quite so hateful towards them if there wasn’t poison attached to them.
Truthfully, I don’t care anything about them. I don’t care about them, their lives or their children’s lives. I don’t feel any sense of attachment to them one way or the other and if they packed up and moved on a Tuesday, the next day I would wake up and simply notice that it was Wednesday. The only thing I truly care about in this case is me and my quality of life. What they do is their own business and I don’t give two flying shits about it. The only thing I don’t want is to have my peace Disturbed. I did not come up here to be insulted by anti-Semitic lunatics. I came up here for fresh air and truthfully, these people would be better served living in town. It would be cheaper for them and they would be amongst people who think like they do.
Anyway, Lena is off but will be back in a while. I gave her a little more wash to do and to stop in at the store. God forgive me, I wanted a little more spaghetti. I know it’s no good for me and I don’t need it but I can’t help myself. She’s over there for a package of spaghetti and some peppercorns. After that, we will be good for the week.
Today is clear as a bell, not a cloud in the sky and I’m pretty sure it’s going to be a hot one. It’s already a little late to be perfect in the watering but the hose is set up so I’m about to have a walk around the property before my legs give out. This is also something to do while the floor dries.
Other than that, I have to bring in water today. One tank is empty and the other one needs to be brought up top. I cannot get more than half a bucket out of my well right now. We are not completely out of water but I am pretty darn out of water. I’m not sure that I am ready to go into my rain barrels for personal use water. I can see using rainwater for washing but I’m not sure about drinking it.
But about dropping a pipe well, I had a ridiculous interplay with Lena about her own pipe well. I asked her for some specifics about how much water was actually in the well she uses. She said that Ghenna’s report about his own pipe well and Ria’s might be pie in the sky. She said that her own pipe well was good for maybe 10 minutes of water before the motor would turn off. The motor only runs when there’s water to pump. If this is true and her well is as slow to recover as she says, this is exactly one of the reasons why I have not invested in a second or even third well here for the property. If it’s not going to be dependable water, why am I spending money on it?
So this is what is going on here today. It’s Thursday so I’m going to have a look at this week’s Torah portion. I’ve already been through a bunch of it and I have a few points that I wish to bring up. After that, I don’t know. If something worth talking about comes up, we will do some typing. If not, well, this is what life is.
To be fair, I do not live in town. I do not have perpetual noise. I do not have the need to scream instead of talk. I also don’t particularly have people to stare at all day. Right now, it’s just me and the landscape. There is the sound of a light breeze rustling in the tall grass. One crazy chicken is clucking a little loudly up the road. A few birds are letting others know where they are and are keeping their lungs clean. And a few insects are looking for something to eat.
Let’s be clear that these chickens are not natural animals. But other than that, this is exactly what the world is supposed to sound like.
So if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to break the piece with my incredibly loud pump. We will see what the future holds as far as being able to water my field. Work will be done on that question, I promise. I’m also interested to see how much I get into the question of dealing with my neighbors once and for all. They really are not worth any effort on my part. They really are just grungy pathetic white trash. I mean, at the heart of everything, they just want money. Nothing else has ever happened in our relationship except that they want money. The only problem is that they are pigs about it. They are just fucking miserable pigs about wanting money.
***
Well it’s 10:30, the sun is exactly brutal already. Well, let’s not go that far. It’s not really so hot but it is a bright sunny day. I am done with my morning’s chores and I feel everything went pretty well. I am pleased with how my leg performed. I had very few problems and didn’t feel like I did anything to stress it too much. Today, it even had a measure of resiliency allowing me to sit down and then get back up without experiencing horrible pain. Everything about this is a giant plus.
The field is watered, what there is of it left. This weekend is going to be a bit of a feast as quite a few of the vegetables growing in our boxes are going to be picked up. There are lots of good things to eat and I have absolutely no reason not to dive in and enjoy the fruits of everybody’s labors. I don’t know if my ex partner will be coming up on Sunday or not, I believe she might, so I’m not going to destroy everything. We will have another fantastic meal, most entirely probably by her hand, when she gets here and there’s nothing more to say. You might as well enjoy it when you have it because nobody lives forever and neither does the season.
On a negative note, my well is ridiculously low right now. It is still possible to draw water but I barely get a half a bucket right now and everything takes twice as long.
I had another absolutely positive thing happen today when tanya, my neighbor two houses down, stuck her head inside my gate. The last time I saw her was on Tuesday and I really didn’t think I would see her again. A few weeks ago, we talked for a while about a number of things that we had in common or could be of common use for each other but after that, I didn’t hear from her. Today, she was in need of a single ruble.
Don’t judge me or the people I live with. This is the nature of the Belarusian villages. It’s actually the nature of all villages in the Slovak world and most probably throughout Asia. The president of the country one time put a spin on this thing and said that we were more East than West. I think he was talking about how close to the Earth people live away from the cities. That was me putting a spin on things like poverty. Anyway, Tanya is another one of the people who have chosen to relate to me reasonably instead of with violence or hatred. I’m beginning to get the feeling that there are not actually that many hateful people here. They exist and they are genuinely louder than most. But if I were to put a ballpark gas on it, I would say that the number is probably close to 3%. Irony in that number intended, by the way.
Sometimes I dream of possessing magic powers. I dream sometimes of wiping out that 3%. I dream of a virus that attaches itself to people of this nature and that acts of hatred and aggression and negative manipulation causes the disease to spread. As long as I’m writing this fantasy, I would go for 100% fatality. I mean, I know there is always room for corruption in these things and if you suddenly found someone dead, everyone would point their finger and say oh, oh, oh what a bad person they were. But I would have this thing spread from the moment someone physically creates an action to harm another person. We’re not talking about evil thoughts, we’re talking about actions with a guilty mind to cause harm. One step forward and bang, the pain and the misery and the sickness hits. Withdrawal from the thought and there is a potential to heal. Go after a second time and fatality is assured. Enjoy your trip off the planet. Nobody will miss you.
I was glad she came. I made a point of talking things out with her. I think she’s a fine person, pretty much everybody recommended that she would be a fine person to have around but I don’t like people coming to my door to ask for money. I’m nobody’s Bank and this should be well known. If you come here looking for money, you should call on the phone or just stay the hell away forever and ever. I mean, if someone thinks they have an investment, I doubt I have enough money to help and I further doubt that I would be interested in doing business outside of my own expertise, but if you don’t call on the phone and bring your physical body towards me to ask for money, the answer is no. I am not available and the bank is closed until the end of time.
But you never know. She often goes to the forest for berries and I am on the list of customers. The same is true for mushrooms. And today, she took a pair of jeans and agreed to sell some material into the place where there were holes. She tried to say she would do it as an act of friendship. I paid her money for the service anyway, also between friends, and we’ll see what the story is in the future.
Keep your friends close and your enemies on the other side of the wall. Make sure your friends know that you are a friend and that the answer is yes (except for money) and let your enemies know that there is a damn good reason why you consider them enemies.
I think the only other nuance that needs to be discussed is another piece of gossip I got from Lena. Apparently, Ghenna got shit faced blind drunk yesterday. I’m glad he took the trouble to tell me that he didn’t drink very much anymore. I didn’t believe him when he said it and this absolutely is the reason why his prices are so reasonable for labor. I don’t feel bad about tipping him. I don’t feel bad about that at all. In fact, when next week rolls around and we have another opportunity to work together, my guess is he will work at the nth degree of his ability. It’s not a question of who is exploiting who, it’s just a matter of knowing how to work with your market.
So, we are a few steps closer to my day off. There is abundant food lying around. My work for the weekend is almost completely finished. All the washing has been done, the floors are clean and the water tanks are full. I’m not in excruciating pain and I’m really not worried about anything.
***
I’m sorry, I learned another lesson in life from living here. You really are not supposed to say that everything is going well because the moment you do, something terrible is going to happen. Believe me when I tell you that this is a great weight to put on the world that they should never, ever expect anything good to happen or create a situation where good things make people very, very nervous.
Nevertheless, after a missile strike in Kharkiv to a civilian center, this video shows the damage. There was no military operation in this district. It was strictly civilian. Just people living their lives and doing what they need to do to get by. The dialogue from the fireman says that there are at least 200 fatalities and that nobody knows exactly how many and that the building was completely destroyed.
Zelinski of course has something to say on the subject.
I really wish people would get the idea through their heads that we are not Russia. We may be more polite and welcoming but we are a colony and no more and never will be. There is a long, long history of use and abuse. I have no idea why people are so sure that what is happening in Ukraine could not happen here. I also have no idea why people think that having military vehicles hanging around your town and fighter planes flying overhead should bring any sense of peace to anybody.
***
This week’s torah portion is called Eikev (עֵ֣קֶב), a word that means “because of this”. The section begins where last week’s stopped and Joshua is quoting God who is demanding everyone to know his greatness. There are some conflicting ideas in this. Some ideas are very beautiful…
And He will love you and bless you and multiply you; He will bless the fruit of your womb and the fruit of your soil, your grain, your wine, and your oil, the offspring of your cattle and the choice of your flocks, in the land which He swore to your forefathers to give you.
Other parts are somewhat less than beautiful truthfully…
And you shall consume all the peoples which the Lord your God gives you; you shall not spare them…
Then he makes a pretty good point about how to destroy an enemy…
The Lord, your God, will deliver them to you, and He will confound them with great confusion, until they are destroyed.
There is more than a little irony in the fact that I was just talking about this today. It’s funny how these things tend to follow each other around and what’s going on in the Torah seems to be things you notice about real life. I guess I am doing the right thing by spending time every week and reading. It seems that playing with your enemy’s head has been around for time immemorial. It’s not very helpful when you want to wage war or take someone’s property to go very easy on their heads. I guess this makes me a terrible warrior. Oh well, I guess I will just have to live with that.
Anyway, the whole first portion is about promises in how the Lord will take care of you if you just believe in him and follow his commandments. The second continues with this until the beginning of Deuteronomy chapter 9 where advice is given for those who are about to cross the Jordan. This is also advice to believe in the Lord but it is a reminder as to whose side God is on.
The third portion has Moses talking in first person again and he retells some of the history of what has happened so far in the story. He talks about receiving the tablets and about how he has never forgotten the things that have made him and the Lord angry. That is the thing about Jewish people, we never forget an insult. I can personally attest to that. You just don’t forget it when people screw you over.
The 4th portion is retelling the story of receiving the commandments and what happened with them. The 5th portion is more of the same, reminders as to why the Lord is great and you should listen to him. Deuteronomy 11 starts in the middle of this chapter but continues on reminding people that they absolutely should remember that the Lord is great and never to stray from this fact. This is also true for the 6th portion, including how to remember the Lord in all things you do and never to fail to let others know who you are and the seventh portion is a summation saying that great power will be those who believe.
Deuteronomy Chapter 11
22For if you keep all these commandments which I command you to do them, to love the Lord, your God, to walk in all His ways, and to cleave to Him,
23then the Lord will drive out all these nations from before you, and you will possess nations greater and stronger than you.
24Every place upon which the soles of your feet will tread, will be yours: from the desert and the Lebanon, from the river, the Euphrates River, and until the western sea, will be your boundary.
25No man will stand up before you; the Lord your God will cast the fear of you and the dread of you on all the land upon which you tread, as He spoke to you.
I suppose I am guilty of coming off a bit glib in these essays about the weekly torah. It is not my intention to make a joke of things. But it is a bit difficult to Wade through the literature. This is not only because of the redundancy and the constant admonishments to follow. It is also because of the conflicting ideas.
I understand that we have a leader trying desperately to hold a group of people together. I also know that he believes that he is right and is full of absolute religious zealousness. I can relate to this personally. I also feel great zealousness for the things I believe in. I can even attach my beliefs to God in a way that not only makes me happy but that I think makes things easier to understand for everybody, or at least those who have a background in religion or at least believe very strongly in a deity.
What I don’t agree with is the necessity of all of The killing. Of course we could say that the world was very violent. It’s easy to see how violent the world still is. Perhaps the only thing that mattered 3,000 years ago was power and perhaps this is still a belief that is absolutely held as true.
But what if this is exactly the mistake that started everything. It’s not only a matter of Christianity being a theft of Judaism. We are not talking about the reality of the New testament or the viability of these books as written. It’s just that it is a guide book of how to attain power as much as or even more than a guidebook to morality.
Certainly Mercy is written into these pages. Benevolence is talked about. Honesty and fairness in dealings is spoken of and is part of the words that we read here. But inevitably, it seems to state that things cannot be held together. It makes it very clear that regardless of any demonstration of power or righteousness, people will come unglued and in the end, it is violence that solves the problems.
As a side light, and divorcing myself from the modern world for just a moment, maybe they were just way too into killing animals.
The point is that there absolutely is another way other than violence. Demanding that you are stronger or have more people or are better armed does not absolutely exist as the only possible way to solve problems.
Let’s visit our friends in Ukraine for just a moment. If we were to take the potential oil in the Black Sea off the table, someone needs to explain to me what the hell Russia would continue to be there for. They do not wish to govern more people or to be responsible for more social security. I think the world has progressed much further than two bread cuttings. If there were no tactical benefits or opportunity for resources (oil in the Black Sea), Russia would have absolutely no reason to be firing missiles at people. Nothing we are looking at in this war would happen except for the fact that they want access to their money.
Why are they fighting? Why aren’t they trading? Why aren’t they just working out a reasonable deal? Is it that they don’t have anything to offer? Is it that they cannot get for themselves what they want and therefore they immediately cause bloodshed like spoiled children throwing a temper tantrum? I have nothing but fools here telling me that I have to suffer without so many things. I get nothing and I mean nothing but punishments from the chicken people and my daughter’s mother and the medical institution. People here do not have any possible way of dealing with anyone other than causing pain. But amazingly, I seem to be able to do without. I haven’t died and I seem to be doing well enough in life to say that these things that are rather important can be lived without push come to shove. True, life might be marginally better with but I still have to live my life and I would still live exactly where I am and perhaps 90%, doing exactly what I’m doing.
It’s really hard for me because it’s a very confusing document. It’s not confusing that I cannot understand the language, it’s confusing because it is written by a very confused person. We are not listening to someone exercise their abilities to put mathematical ideas to pen and paper. I’m talking about logic here and reasonableness. We are not listening to someone tell us honestly and logically why one thing is better than another. We are just listening to someone say that we will be broken by brute Force if we don’t listen and that we can wait for all kinds of love and benevolence if we simply give in. That to me is not an invitation I like. I don’t like the punishment at the beginning, I don’t like the threats and I don’t like sitting around passively and waiting to be taken care of like a damn child.
I am an adult and I rely on myself. I do not wish to be kept as a perpetual child. I wish to live my own life and I wish to live fairly and honestly and without bloodshed.
It is a guidebook of power unfortunately. I am seeing the same thing repeated too many times and unfortunately, I didn’t grow up with this nor am I burdened with the belief that there are unbelievable things that I have no choice whatsoever but to follow. I understand that this is the real difference between me and a lot of my neighbors. They adhere to the whims of power. They do not protest when the bureaucrats abuse them. They, at least those who wish to be on the delivering end of the abuse, spend their lives seeking out positions that allow them to inflict the abuse rather than being one of the lemmings who only take it.
This is not the world I want to live in. In fact, I don’t think anybody really wants to live in such a world. I don’t think anybody really wants to live in a world where there is no hope of escape from the brutality except perhaps to be on the giving end. I did not want to live in a completely sado-masochistic world. I don’t want to live in a world that is ruled by brutality.
I’m sorry if I seem to be summing up a little early. I still have 13 or 14 weeks of this to go. I won’t stop reading these Torah portions. I’m just saying that it is way more heartbreaking for me than it is edifying or inspiring. And I’m absolutely 100% sure that I am not the only one, certainly not the only Jew, who thinks or has ever thought this way. My guess is, the world is full of people who wish to climb out of the mess and bullshit that power brings with it and carry people to a more logical, peaceful and reasonable world. Or in a more sustainable world at the very least.
To this thought, I will say Amen.
***
It’s about 5:00 and I’m sitting in the office thinking about some dinner. Today has been a good day. It’s also been a very, very light eating day. I think all I’ve eaten so far was a small plate of oatmeal and perhaps half a bank of forest blueberries. I don’t know what the story is on this except maybe that I just have not been very hungry. Maybe it’s because of how the day progressed or maybe I simply have not acknowledged hunger as much as I usually do. Or maybe I did acknowledge my actual hunger rather than going for something to eat because I was bored or something like that. In any case, it’s about 5:00 and I’m still not very hungry.
Tanya brought some brightness to the day. I think she has been wondering what kind of relationship we are supposed to be having between us. She has an awful husband and I do not wish to cause any issues. This is not to say that I am smitten, I just like her and have since I met her.
This may not be a very romantic story but when I first moved here, I noticed her riding a bicycle somewhere. I was in a very positive mood at the time. Moving into a new place and getting used to a new house had me thinking positive thoughts. I am a lifetime bicyclist despite this last week of staying off the wheels. I just thought she was attractive on her bike and I said some words to that effect. I didn’t know that this complement would start things up.
A bit later, she called me by name. I guess she asked around about me and found out whatever it is that she found out. The husband also found out that I had said a few words to her one time and he demonstrated his alpha male abilities. I don’t need to exercise my ego in any way and frankly, I am in no condition to get into fist fights. But honestly, he is no mountain of a man and a bit younger and a bit more mobile, I would seriously have to consider pushing him back into his place. This would not be me fighting for the woman. I don’t understand why I should fight to say some friendly words to somebody. If they are married, let me be the last person on the planet to come between them. I just don’t like to be pushed and I especially don’t like to be pushed by idiots.
Nevertheless, this situation exists so being kind to Tanya has its pitfalls built in. I don’t particularly need anything from the relationship, I just think she’s a nice person and I really like being able to get some Forest blueberries without walking in the forest to find them myself. The same is true for mushrooms. I can’t argue with having a local distributor.
I think she also mentioned something about perhaps wanting some English help for her daughter. I haven’t heard anything about that since but I would not be opposed to some barter. I really like forest mushrooms and I am really, really enjoying these blueberries.
Anyway, that was my bright spot. I guess no matter how old you get, a man is still a man and the attention of nice women always feels good. I never said I was above such things. I never said anything about anything on this subject except that I’m not gay. This does not mean that I get into fist fights over women and it absolutely does not mean that I lose my head and throw myself at their feet begging for more. I’m just saying I like it. I’m saying I like it and I’m not going to go too far out of my way to stop it from happening. If y’all think you should blame me for that for some reason, let me know. As far as I know, I am not breaking any laws whatsoever.
It’s crazy that I’m still not hungry. Maybe it’s the warm weather. I’ll be honest in that maybe I’ve been eating too much lately. I truly hope it’s not Ria getting her fingers on me. Ria has a habit of going off on fasts that last anywhere from a week to a month. She does these things all the time and believes that going with nothing but water is one of the great curative activities of life. I don’t want to hear that shit. I like eating. I like my style of eating and I am really enjoying having a place in the country where I can grow my own food. This is absolutely not the place that I want to practice long periods of hunger if I don’t have to.
Pardon me for overthinking this. Let’s just say that I can probably get by on a little less than I have been. I guess we could all use to lose a few pounds. We could all go a little lighter and use a little less of what we have. It’s good to make things last.
***
So it’s 8:00 and I guess this is becoming my usual time to quit for the evening. I think overall it’s been a fine day. I didn’t get my jeans back yet. Reliable partners are determined over the course of long periods of time and considering the situation as a whole, I’m not worried too much about Tanya getting back until tomorrow. I won’t die without the pants.
The gate however is already locked. If she tried to come, I didn’t hear her. I was watching a film in the office and had earplugs in.
The film I was watching has me in an absolutely wonderful mood. I am not quite finished with The Star Trek canon. I do not believe I am going to go through the entire 500 hour experience of all of the series. I did watch all of the original episodes and now I’m casually going through the films. But tonight’s film, Star Trek 4: The Voyage Home has always been my favorite. It has been many many years since the first time I saw it but it was as fresh to my eyes as the first time. That first time was in a theater in San Francisco when it was first released.
The film is a continuation of the last two films which sort of built upon each other. Where one film stopped, the next film would start. People generally say that the second film, The Wrath of Khan, was the best. And I agree, it was a fantastic naval battle. But this film to me was the most enjoyable by far. Probably because as much as Kahn was a romping wartime adventure, this was a movie about peace.
The story concerns some epic spaceship that has the power to easily wipe out anything in its path and it’s on its way to Earth. It is sending a signal that nobody seems to understand. Spok picks up on the nuances first and comes to the conclusion that it is a whale song. This space probe cannot understand why the whales are not answering its call. The unfortunate answer is that they are extinct, hunted out of existence pointlessly and now the entire Earth is going to suffer because of it.
I’m not going to go into all of the details but effectively, the crew has to go back in time to 1987 San Francisco. This is about when the film was released and this is exactly where I was. Literally, this was the point where Star Trek and I personally converged. I knew every location in the film, it was like being visited by crazy friends.
What is also great about the film is just the snappiness of the dialogue. Every nuance of the plan to somehow get the whales aboard a Klingon spaceship and transport them back to the 23rd century is ridiculously far-fetched. From Scotty inventing something called transparent aluminum at an engineering factory, to spot jumping in a well tank to mind meld with a female humpback to Dr McCoy casually restoring function of an old lady’s kidney as she is on the way to dialysis. As far fetched as the plot was, the writing itself was absolute genius and the film was endlessly enjoyable.
The bottom line message was that we are the stupidest generation in the history of History and will be lucky to see the 23rd century. And it’s pretty freaking doubtful that the whales will or almost any other animal.
Dinner tonight was excellent. It was some combination of steamed zucchini and new potatoes. I had some chickpeas in the steaming water to soften up a bit and garnished it with fresh tomatoes and chili peppers. Probably I have made a mistake. It was so tasty, I probably should have waited until tomorrow evening. But it’s okay. I haven’t broken anything.
There isn’t really that much to do tomorrow. My plan is to harvest the beans and the peas. If I feel it, I will also take down the trestles and unstring the pickle Garden. I will put those materials in the barn until next year. I should probably water also. There isn’t going to be any rain tomorrow or the next day. Some weather reports say that perhaps there will be some rain on Monday or Tuesday of next week. Other reports say no rain at all for another week. It’s all a moot point basically. I won’t have any water left in my tanks after tomorrow. Perhaps I might find enough water to carry some buckets around. But even my well has all but gone dry. I’m not quite going to make it till the end of August and unless we get some rain, this looks like the end of the project generally.
I also got one more interesting bit of feedback. Apparently, my neighbors noticed my writing this morning and somehow figured out that I was talking about them. Apparently, this knowledge has them in an uproar. Can you imagine that? On August 18th of the 2nd year of writing about my life here, my neighbors finally noticed that what I told them on our first meeting was true. Well, I am also a writer now. Finally. I hope they enjoy knowing.
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