Thursday, August 4th 2022

I am on the couch in my office with my legs up and Lena is making quick work of the floor. All is okay. Her mother is visiting her. Her mother is a mess by the way. She’s also lost a leg and several toes to diabetes and this week she ended up in the hospital again for an abscess under one of her teeth. What was that that the Who said about dying before you get old?

On an absolutely positive note, I seem to be a very good doctor. These last few weeks of being off my feet have been helpful. Every day, my leg seems to be getting a little bit better. It’s not fully recovered but much better. Unfortunately, I had an opportunity to have a look at when this problem started. I took a picture of it. I tried rather desperately to get Minsk to talk to me but they never would. And of course they haven’t called all week.

It’s a sick situation. I tried to call yesterday but they would not even pick up the phone. Can you imagine that? Seriously, can you imagine that?

However, I guess I have a few nice people that come and help out. Yesterday I did my laundry which was not so hard except for the lack of water in the well. Today the floors are getting mopped down and I think Lena will go to the store for me for a few things. Nothing incredibly needed but something at least for tomorrow.

And then one more thing that seems to have helped. I have been cutting down quite a bit on my meals, eating smaller amounts and also I have gravitated towards non-factory foods. The bread I have been making has been excellent and for the last couple of days, I haven’t really used grains very much. I had some brown rice and beans a few days ago but lately I’ve been just having potatoes and veggies with some beans or peas and I seem to be thriving on it. I guess it’s a bit less of a sugar up.

I don’t know, it seems that when I eat like an ape, I end up my most healthy. When I eat for comfort, I create problems for myself. When I stay completely natural, everything moves along nicely. When I go to the supermarket, things get sketchy.

Thursday is always kind of a weird food day. I haven’t eaten anything yet today but I’m still not even close to being hungry. I’m also feeling a lot better than I was a few days ago. Whatever was in that cabbage that I ate has managed to go through me. I also whatever Ghenna’s girlfriend passes along to me through him has also mostly run its course. Vegan recovery?

I don’t have a lot to do today. It’s going to be hot again and there is no rain coming today, tomorrow or Saturday. I have enough water in my barrels for perhaps four waterings without rain. The weather calls for rain starting on Sunday and then continuing through the first part of next week. I’ll believe it when I see it but I also need it. This is pretty much getting to the bottom of the barrel if you will. If we don’t get rain next week, it’s going to be the end of several things growing in my garden.

All this has me pretty sure in my decision to go for perennials next year in the lower gardens. As far as food production goes, I think I will build up the mid gardens a bit. One place is going to be designated for sweet potatoes for the next while and the other boxes are going to go for zucchinis and squash and other high volume products. And if I can find some perennial kale, this is going to have to be a must.

Basically, I genuinely think that the highest volume food sources that require the least amount of help from me is the way to go. I am not looking to take care of something. I’m not looking for a high maintenance property. I’m not looking for anything that requires a massive amount of attention or effort on my part to keep going. The word is sustainable. I love the thought of having a food forest or a food Garden. But I do not wish to be responsible for either the work or the ridiculous amount of resources necessary to sustain something I can do without.

As far as the future is concerned, I can’t really say. It is quite obvious that we are more interested in killing each other or simply trying to maintain our unsustainable lifestyles than to become responsible for climate change or ecological destruction. It is obvious to me that there will be no headway in a positive direction and that all the bullshit in the world spoken by our politicians is simply making placeholders and promises they cannot keep. No one in office today can say what’s going to happen in 20 years. People who are in office today should be speaking of what we do right now today.

So this is the positive news on a Thursday. I’m a little worried about water. That’s actually pretty logical. The house has been cleaned up a bit and that makes things a little nicer. I’ve got a little bit of store food on the way, nothing exciting, just some bulk food that translates to reasonably healthy quick meals. And then I’m just taking it easy until the evening when I have to do some watering.

***

The operative word here is unsustainable. It seems that the word sustainable does not even exist in the Russian lexicon.

Устойчиво is the direct translation. But it has as its synonyms words like cтабильный, which means stable or unchanging and поддерживаемый, which means basically supported. If you can get how these meanings tie in together, it means the opposite of what sustainable seems to me to mean.

I mean, according to the dictionary, the Russians have this right.

Sustainable: able to be maintained at a certain rate or level.

But when I think of sustainability, I guess the word that comes to mind would be something that is easily defendable or more importantly, that maintains itself. Or maybe in other words, something that is not particularly subject to human error, corruption or total failure.

This is where my desire to go with perennials comes from. If you have a plan that is going to regenerate itself, that’s one less job for me to do. A plant that does regenerate itself is probably going to do everything it needs for itself and on my part, moderate help is all that is required. And specifically what is not required is a greenhouse, starting seedlings, massive amounts of soil prepping or even transportation of soil resources, the general effort of planting and harvest cleanup. Basically, the job would be mild weeding and feeding and moderate consumption so is not to eat the thing into Extinction.

That last thought should probably be a universal one for all of us for all of our natural resources. Don’t eat yourself out of house and home in a house that our children are supposed to be able to eat from as well. This by the way is also true even if you don’t have children. Common sense for humanity.

I would definitely keep a salad box. I would definitely grow lots and lots of onions and some sugar beets and sugar peas. I will definitely plant a ton of beans and move them around from place to place. Strawberries definitely need a home. I can’t believe I didn’t have strawberries this year. Garlic. Maybe some ginger.

I’m not quitting annuals. I will still happily plant some things that I enjoy very much. Staples I guess is how you would say it. But what I wish to acknowledge is that I have gotten more value in Greens from the horseradish that grows wild then I have out of any of these cabbages that need to be defended, cared for, sprayed and constantly weeded. I have never gotten sick eating field greens and I’ve already had several bad days from bug ridden cabbages.

The same is true for bothering with potatoes. If you’re going to grow something but can’t actually live without your constant attention, I guess it’s just not really sustainable unless you yourself so completely need to feel needed. I’m not pointing any fingers or making any huge statements about the differences in people or the differences in the sexes. I’m just saying that I acknowledge my own personal laziness, my own physical limitations and I think I would rather work smarter than harder and agree to live with food that doesn’t mind living with me.

I guess I can say this like a lesson from one of my English classes. You are an English teacher and you have two students. The first student is ready for class, asks important questions about things that are interesting to them or that they are trying very hard to understand but can’t, does all of their work on time and relates to you in a friendly, respectful manner. They do their job and seem happy to be there. The second student doesn’t want to work unless you are there to constantly motivate them. They ask questions that come from being too lazy to ask them themselves, look for any possible reason to take days off from class, cannot be counted on in any way to do homework and basically let you know with every movement of their body and word that they say that they would really rather be elsewhere.

Which student do you keep and which student do you advise to go elsewhere?

Perennials. A perennial garden. This year was fun. This year taught me a lot. Next year, we are going perennial just like what was planned at the beginning.

***

Is Russia running out of soldiers? Like I said, this entire War is simply unsustainable. It’s unsustainable in principle and it’s unsustainable in reality. Nothing good can come of such an operation.

***

This is a bit of a shock. We are now covered with dark clouds and two separate weather reports say that we are due for some rain between now and 5:00 this evening. I’ve been fooled enough to know better but I tell you, nothing would hit me better than some rain here today. That would take a lot of pressure off going into the weekend.

***

This week’s Torah portion is called devarim (דְּבָרִ֗ים) and here we begin the book of Deuteronomy. The word devourim means words and it’s taken from the first words of the first portion: 

These are the words which Moses spoke to all Israel on that side of the Jordan in the desert, in the plain opposite the Red Sea, between Paran and Tofel and Lavan and Hazeroth and Di Zahav..

In the first portion, here it is, after 40 years of walking around in the desert, Moses is finally going to let his people go and agrees that they should come down from the mountain and occupy the land of Israel. They are a great people, there are many of them and they are ready for their independence.

In the second portion, Moses declares that each tribe will have a leader and that they should have a fair Justice system to settle disputes between people.

Then, because Moses was basically OG Jewish, he reminded everybody that they had been pains in the ass, they had gossiped and brought great displeasure to everybody. He just wanted to remind them that he had not forgotten anything and he knew who they were. I guess we could call this a Jewish goodbye because it just went on and on. You can’t let people go without letting them experience just a tad more misery.

Sure enough, in the fourth portion he goes on again reminding them to teach their children not to be the same sorts of pains in the ass that they turned out to be. And then finally, he turned them loose. Almost.

Before letting them go, he had to remind them that although this was the promised Land, some of his people had already settled it. They knew who the Kings and the owners of these places were and so the advice was to be nice and not to overstep their welcome. It is very important to be a good guest. 

But then in the 5th portion, right in the midst of this endless goodbye, Moses changes his mind and goes back into the old playbook for a play that had failed so many times before. It’s hard to say why he wants to do this. You know, we are reading a record of this entire journey so it’s not like he didn’t write it down to remember it. But for some reason, Moses decides to send spies to check things out in Heshbon. Some people will never learn.

While the spies were gone, he retold the story of how he read the possession of all of these lands, whose territory was who’s and who owned what. By the time we get to the 7th and final portion, we find out that nobody is simply allowed to just walk into the promised Land. In fact, it’s going to be yet another War. As far as Moses was concerned, history was behind them, they had rightful possession to the land and with his last words he uttered a sentence that has been repeated endlessly throughout history since this first telling:

“Do not fear them, for it is the Lord, your God, Who is fighting for you.”

The first thought that comes to my mind is the obvious one that no matter how deep your relationship might run, no matter how serious the nepotism and no matter how much a bigger fish might clear the road for you, you are going to have to do the job yourself. No matter how easy you think you have it or even how much you believe you might be right, you’re going to have to put up a fight in order to possess this thing that you want.

I think that would be the most natural advice for anyone to give anybody. If you snooze, you lose. You make your own opportunities. Nobody gives you anything, you have to take it. We all know these thoughts of wisdom. We teach them to our children and to each other. All of us know like knowledge that the will of the Strong survive and the weak ones simply get trampled in the rush.

Or, perhaps it doesn’t have to be like this.

Perhaps there is another way. There have been many philosophers and many philosophies since we’ve invented writing and language. There have been a lot of people who have considered the concepts of property and ownership. There have been many people who have delved into the idea of market economy, handling people and the role of a single human within society. We’ve also considered voting rights, social hierarchies or lack thereof, crimes and punishments and even the role of religion within the concept of a political state. There have been many people who have delved into the idea of ownership and community. It is very difficult to say that there is only one correct answer.

I think one of the Great shames of the world is that the title of “the art of the deal” should have fallen into the hands of a pampered idiot like Donald Trump. I do not see how he is a deal maker. I see how he is a thief but I do not see how he is a deal maker.

I say this because there is no such thing as a deal unless everybody is happy. There is a big difference between someone agreeing to something because someone else holds more power or strength and someone agreeing to something because it is the best thing that could happen.

I used to have a theory of contracts. This is something I came up with as a teenager really. My original thought was that there are only three things that you can do with a contract that comes into dispute. Either or both sides can quit, aqueous or renegotiate. The fact is however that this is not true. Quitting is incorrect if there is residual unhappiness from this decision and the same is yielding to power. This does not create a new and happy contract, it just creates more misery. Therefore the only possible outcome is renegotiation.

Later however, I realized that this also was not true. The real truth is there is no such thing as a binding contract because every new occurrence creates new situations. If someone holds a piece of paper that says that some people belong to this country or some piece of property belongs to that country but then something happened to change all this, we do not have that original piece of paper anymore. For good or for bad, that piece of paper is gone and now a new situation exists.

There have been many claims by the Russians about previous ownership or previous ethnic identity. All of this is crap. Whatever existed many years ago no longer exists because things have gotten in its way. We can also say that Belarus should not be under the command of its current leadership because several centuries ago, we were a part of Poland or Lithuania or Prussia. Perhaps we should be communist now because we were a part of the Soviet Union. So many flags have flown over this land. Citing ownership is just the exercise of power. It is not an agreeable or agreed upon contract.

We could also claim that our current leadership should not be here because truthfully, there is doubt as to the validity of the voting process. There is an enormous amount of coercion and threat, violence and the rewriting of laws to say that this is any kind of a free and fair vote. The same is true for Russia and anywhere really in the former Soviet Union. We do not have a true democracy in which people are allowed to take care of themselves and their communities. We just have a political body that gets to make the rules and apparently, they not only never plan on leaving but also that no one should ever have any freedom to decide anything ever down the line.

Truthfully, I would be very hard-pressed to believe that people would literally vote away their children’s voting rights. I don’t know why anybody would agree to vote at all in such elections. If you really do not have a choice and the choice that they are showing you is meaningless, other than acquiescing to the gun at your head, what is the point of the exercise? It’s just empty and pointless ceremony.

So I can take my own situation and put it to this test. I have a little plot of land and generally, people believe it is mine because I paid some money and went through the process of bureaucracy to get several pieces of paper that I’m supposed to take care of as dear. Ironically however, the first thing I ran into was some false friendly faces. Usually the handshakes had something to do with wanting money from me. And then when I brought up the idea of regional ecology as being important, they went right ahead and made an enemy of me. They went after my nationality and my religious heritage, this is the same thing to them but this is what they chose to use as my personal objectification. Now it’s 18 months later plus minus and only now are they realizing that they have been swinging at the breeze. There was no war. There was no violence. There was no drama. Their great villain didn’t give half a shit about what they did or said except to write about it.

I have often heard that the Jews in the Arabs get along very well on a personal level. There are quite a few Arabs living in Israel and I’m not talking about segregated ghettos. Israel might be the Jewish homeland and a Jewish state but it is still a multinational place. There are many languages spoken there. And most people seem to understand that dealing with others is never usually problematic on a person to person level. People themselves don’t start wars, only people who identify as members of groups form parties.

So in the end, it is about objectification. It is about how we identify ourselves in terms of what group we belong to. When we see ourselves as possessions of a group, we tend to have this same sort of view of our own possessions of ownership. This is not to say that I want anybody coming on to my property and doing whatever they want with my land. This is absolutely what I do not want. But at the same time, it seems that I have regularly people coming here to help out and all it takes for them to be happy is to have a reasonable contract to get paid for their efforts. No war, no fighting. Everybody minds their own business and if the price is enough to keep them happy, they show up to work on time.

Of course in these situations we have another situation. Both Lena and Ghenna have homes of their own. Neither of these people are homeless. They have basically the same type of house that I do and something similar to the amount of land. Maybe a little bigger or a little smaller, maybe this one has this and another one has that. What this means is there is no giant status difference between us. There is no reason for me to feel that I am better or worse than anybody. There is just a situation of work that needs to be done and that they have been nice enough to agree to help out is the difference between successful food growing and unsuccessful food growing.

Much more simply said, the conflict and War over who is right and who is wrong and who is who and what is what has created nothing but misery and unhappiness for everybody. It didn’t bring any happiness to the chicken people, it didn’t bring any happiness to their hunchback, it didn’t bring any happiness to this town. It didn’t make anything better. It just increased the human misery and distrust for each other and nothing more.

So I think my point is that there is a better way to do things. The problem is usually about power and ownership and people trying to live without contribution. It’s parasitism and corruption that kill us, not nationality or skin color. It is not our differences that drive the misery in this world, it’s the fight for resources that nobody needs. 

I mean, all we have to do is try and get along and do what we can to help and everything will probably be fine.

***

Speaking of gentle and beautiful, we can listen to Sadia. 

By the way, this is not what I do but if it gets the ball rolling, well, roll the ball already. Every little bit helps. 

***

Actually, whilewe are at it, how about a range of about 160 km (100 miles), four hour recharging and enough speed to go on the highway? I personally would be happy with golf carts for urban driving (top speed of 25-40 kmh). But hey, I thinbk this looks fun…

***

Well, this is what I’ve been trying to tell you. I’m currently staring at a weather report that says we are right in the middle of a weather pattern and it should be raining exactly right now. Is it? Absolutely not. I’m staring out the window at a few clouds with mildly dark bottoms but that doesn’t mean rain. It never rains anymore. The clouds just simply do not want to let the water go.

How many years has the world been in drought?

According to reliefweb.int:  

“We are at a crossroads. We need to steer toward the solutions rather than continuing with destructive actions, believing that marginal change can heal systemic failure. One of the best, most comprehensive solutions is land restoration, which addresses many of the underlying factors of degraded water cycles and the loss of soil fertility. We must build and rebuild our landscapes better, mimicking nature wherever possible and creating functional ecological systems.”

• Since 2000, the number and duration of droughts has risen 29%
• From 1970 to 2019, weather, climate and water hazards accounted for 50% of disasters and 45% of disaster-related deaths, mostly in developing countries
• Droughts represent 15% of natural disasters but took the largest human toll, approximately 650,000 deaths from 1970-2019
• From 1998 to 2017, droughts caused global economic losses of roughly USD 124 billion
• In 2022, more than 2.3 billion people face water stress; almost 160 million children are exposed to severe and prolonged droughts

And as far as what to do about it, these are their recommendations:

• Sustainable and efficient agricultural management techniques that grow more food on less land and with less water
• Changes in our relationships with food, fodder and fiber, moving toward plant-based diets, and reducing or stopping the consumption of animals
• Concerted policy and partnerships at all levels
• Development and implementation of integrated drought action plans

You see what I mean? I’m not the only one who thinks about this by far. But it seems as though nobody ever wants to listen.

I’ll tell you, I’m beginning to think that that chicken woman is right and that I have a violent soul. I am getting murderously mad. Why can’t they just tell people the truth? Why can’t they just tell them to live sustainably and stop chasing around like a bunch of assholes ruining everything and wasting all of our resources and polluting everything in the world? Why don’t we stop pussy footing around and being so gentle with each other and just say the fucking truth! It’s got to end! The fucking party has got to end!

And as far as these dirty stinking motherfucking politicians and oil Business whores who just sit there counting their money while everything dies, God damn you all to hell! God damn you all to hell!

Okay, fuck it. I guess I’ll go out and water my plants.

***

Well, this is what I’ve been trying to tell you. I’m currently staring at a weather report that says we are right in the middle of a weather pattern and it should be raining exactly right now. Is it? Absolutely not. I’m staring out the window at a few clouds with mildly dark bottoms but that doesn’t mean rain. It never rains anymore. The clouds just simply do not want to let the water go.

How many years has the world been in drought?

According to reliefweb.int:  

“We are at a crossroads. We need to steer toward the solutions rather than continuing with destructive actions, believing that marginal change can heal systemic failure. One of the best, most comprehensive solutions is land restoration, which addresses many of the underlying factors of degraded water cycles and the loss of soil fertility. We must build and rebuild our landscapes better, mimicking nature wherever possible and creating functional ecological systems.”

• Since 2000, the number and duration of droughts has risen 29%
• From 1970 to 2019, weather, climate and water hazards accounted for 50% of disasters and 45% of disaster-related deaths, mostly in developing countries
• Droughts represent 15% of natural disasters but took the largest human toll, approximately 650,000 deaths from 1970-2019
• From 1998 to 2017, droughts caused global economic losses of roughly USD 124 billion
• In 2022, more than 2.3 billion people face water stress; almost 160 million children are exposed to severe and prolonged droughts

And as far as what to do about it, these are their recommendations:

• Sustainable and efficient agricultural management techniques that grow more food on less land and with less water
• Changes in our relationships with food, fodder and fiber, moving toward plant-based diets, and reducing or stopping the consumption of animals
• Concerted policy and partnerships at all levels
• Development and implementation of integrated drought action plans

You see what I mean? I’m not the only one who thinks about this by far. But it seems as though nobody ever wants to listen.

I’ll tell you, I’m beginning to think that that chicken woman is right and that I have a violent soul. I am getting murderously mad. Why can’t they just tell people the truth? Why can’t they just tell them to live sustainably and stop chasing around like a bunch of assholes ruining everything and wasting all of our resources and polluting everything in the world? Why don’t we stop pussy footing around and being so gentle with each other and just say the fucking truth! It’s got to end! The fucking party has got to end!

And as far as these dirty stinking motherfucking politicians and oil Business whores who just sit there counting their money while everything dies, God damn you all to hell! God damn you all to hell!

Okay, fuck it. I guess I’ll go out and water my plants.

***

It’s 7:30 and I’ve just come back from 2 stupid jobs. I got through most of the watering, at least I got to all the plants that genuinely suffer without their daily drink. I had to quit when the hose broke again. It was right in the place where I spliced it. There’s just too much pressure there and I don’t really have appropriate tools to fix it. I’ll go back at it again tomorrow because if I don’t water the field, the field will not have any water. It’s never going to rain here again.

The second mistake was in not closing this particular program when I went out. I have my water pump synced up to an online switch that allows me to stop it and start it remotely. I guess I left this particular program open in my pocket and when I got back, everything I wrote in the above paragraph was wiped out. There was no possibility of recovering it. There’s nobody to blame but myself. It’s just a nuance that I should have thought of before going out there. Anyway, I remembered what I said. It’s all there now.

What I’m angry about is not the politics that drive the people that I know. It’s not the hatred in their hearts that they so happily aim at me and to anybody else they feel justified in believing they are better than. None of it is true. Nobody here is so exceptional. I’m talking about almost everybody I know. I don’t know any super geniuses anywhere. Nobody deserves as much credit as they give themselves.

Or if it’s not this, it is fear that drives everybody. People walk around scared to death and begging and pleading with the world to give them some relief.

I remember being 16 and being absolutely paranoid beyond belief with fear of a nuclear attack. There was a view from my room and all I could see when I looked out there were mushroom clouds decimating everything. There was no reason to believe that it wouldn’t happen. We had the technology and we probably had it coming.

But then there was all of that propaganda. The Soviet Union stopped and with it, the threat of nuclear Holocaust. That little bit of natural paranoia was taken away from us and I personally felt much better about it.

But in the void Left behind from that fear, they stuffed a lot of words that were simply not true. They called communism an experiment. They said it was a system that didn’t work. The Americans were the winners, To the victor goes the spoils and nobody really needed to worry about anything anymore. Just go out and make your money. Greed is good. There is no opposition thinking anymore. There are no other arguments. The truth has been found out by trial and now we are going to enjoy the results.

Well, I have been here for 20 years and it’s been 20 years of poverty. If there is now a brand new threat and fear of nukes being used, I hate to say this but it is a part of a progression that we brought on ourselves. I’m speaking from the perspective of an American now. We probably have it coming. We have left too many places in complete poverty while America just keeps rolling along at such ridiculous monetary levels that nobody else can even understand how it’s possible.

In the meantime, everybody is following the latest propaganda and trying to keep up with the Joneses. Everybody has got to have their Instagram picture or accept the fact that they are a loser. Everybody has got to spend money on vacation travel. Everybody has to photograph themselves next to hot cars or beautiful girls. The girls can’t get along without the makeup in the clothes. Money, money, money, money and that’s all you need to be happy and healthy and stay young forever.

Meanwhile, we’ve destroyed the planet ecologically and it’s getting worse every year. Meanwhile, with no second thought, with no check or balance, with no alternative thought as to how to live, the division of wealth is now so ridiculous, the problem with homelessness is now so ridiculous, the ecological damage done to all aspects of the planet are now so ridiculous that we are looking at the end of everything. Not a chance for innovation, not new money making activities, not new and fascinating technologies, the end of the air and water and land. The end of all of the animals. The end of nature. 

I mean, what do they want? Do they want to stand up and take a bow for the misery they have brought? Do we want to give thanks to the Russians for turning on Ukraine? Do we want to give thanks to the United States for weaponizing Ukraine? Do we want to give a curtain call to the murderers and to all of those who support the murderers?

And this is not the only place in the world where there is war. Look:

How many wars are there currently? Link to this map HERE

I’ll give you three guesses what the point of all of these wars is. In fact, if you guess money, power and oil you’d probably get an A in the class pretty easily.

This is what we are doing with ourselves. This is what our illustrious leaders think is the best plan of action for how we spend our days. This is what our trust and capitalism and Christianity has gained us. This is what our belief structure has left behind as an inheritance. 

Meanwhile, it just doesn’t rain anymore. Sometimes there are vicious storms, but it never rains. Just a little sweet rain to wet things down and keep things normal. Why did we have to fuck everything up? What did we need so badly?