Friday, July 29th 2022
I have finally made it to the end of my worst business year ever. This is immediately following my second worst business here ever. To say that my business went bad is an understatement. To say that I feel bad about it however is a bit of a lie. Let’s just say it’ll be interesting to see if something manages to happen next year.
This is not to say that I feel horrible about this year. Teaching has never made me a millionaire. I took a stab at franchising what I do years ago but I didn’t like the level of commitment to the program I got and closed it down before it ate everything up. This was at about the height of my popularity. After this, it was a one-man show that ran its course.
Would I be open to legitimate business ventures? Sure. Would I take students? Sure. Would I kill myself to try and read things up as high as I could, make all of the compromises necessary and be willing to invest my life to it? Hell no. Absolutely not.
The fact is that the damage was not all that much. In fact, my lifestyle is so light economically that you could say that I didn’t hurt myself at all. I’m going over my books, there was a certain amount of money that was spent on the garden to set things up. These include the water pumps and hoses, the guy who cleaned the well and helped put up the gutters on the barn roof. All of the rainbows and the plumbing that connected them together. A couple of tools that I didn’t have that I guess I needed cost some money. But if I do the math on how much I spent on these things, it really wasn’t that much. I was in the red this year but not very much. Literally, everything was in the budget and within tolerances and within the plan. I don’t feel bad about this year at all.
The one thing there wasn’t this year was any trips or vacations. Unless you want to count my hospital stay and my 5 weeks and my ex partner’s apartment afterwards, there was no vacation at all. Not that I wanted one or any opportunities to take one came up but there was no traveling around this year.
Actually that’s logical on two fronts. There was not a single day this year, I’m talking about the beginning of last August to today, where walking around would ever have seemed like a pleasant thing to do. If it is not an absolute chore and completely important to do it, I’m not getting up. For a while, it seemed as though things were looking up but then I tried to upgrade or at least make sure that my recuperation was going to be successful but Minsk told me to pay for anything I needed from them despite the fact that I thought I was entitled to social medicine. They sent me home empty-handed and now I’m kind of exactly back where I was last year. Thanks guys. Appreciate it.
The other thing is that I don’t know why I’m supposed to have an appetite for travel. It isn’t just the discomfort, it is the unilateral and complete disinterest in staring at tourist points of interest. I don’t give a crap about any of the facts of your bloody castles. I am not interested in having a look at your shopping districts, your old towns, your interesting monuments or to photograph myself standing in front of landmarks. I have no interest walking on fabled cobbled roads, looking at your epic views or sampling your local cuisine. I just don’t care what other people have or what they do and I am completely uninterested in sending photos over Instagram telling people that I fit in.
Personally, I think the tourism industry is the greatest waste of natural resources in the history of the world.
There was a time when I was younger that I went and did my travel. I went all through Europe and even found Belarus for the first time. I have all the stamps in my passports and I suppose I have memories of something along the way. But in all of that wandering around, the only thing I ever found were unbelievably friendly people right where I am right now and everything else was bullshit and spending money. That’s all any of it was. It was just pointless spending of money.
It seems that after a while, you realize that it’s just an extension of prostitution. You’re not really meeting friends. You’re meeting people that are happy to see you because you’re spending money. This particular way of speaking about this came to me from friends who went to Georgia. Not the state of Georgia, the country. They told me that when tourists come, they are extremely nice to them but if you think you want to live there, well, they become exactly like my neighbors.
So there was no traveling this year so that saved a lot of money. I also didn’t go to restaurants or cafes this year. That was a definite plus. As far as food goes, I had more fun making my own food this year. For that, I had a lot of fun. I ate really well this year and I learned a lot about cooking with wild materials and cooking for health. I also learned a lot about budgeting extremely strictly for food and relying on either what I had growing or what I grew myself. That was an excellent budgetary idea.
Last night’s dinner was a good example of this by the way. I meant to talk about it but I didn’t. It was a very simple dish consisting of green lentils, potatoes and two failed Napa cabbages. Now, the Napa cabbage started because my ex partner decided to grow all kinds of cabbage here. She knows that I am a huge fan and this is the reason our garden boxes are as full of cabbage as they are. Specifically, I think napa cabbage is one of the best human foods ever concocted by science. It is harder than lettuce but softer and easier to eat than standard cabbage. It is a nice replacement for romaine lettuce and salads and if you are Asian, it is a natural wrap replacing bread for finger foods. I love napa cabbage.
Napa cabbage however is one of the most difficult things to grow. It’s almost exclusively a hot house food and it requires a tremendous amount of chemical insecticides to keep it free. The leaves are just too delicate to survive infestation. There are just too many places for insects to crawl in there and find a home and something to eat. It is a disastrous vegetable to try and grow on your own unless you are into artisan growing. I learned this the first time I did agriculture here many years ago and I can see this clearly again now.
Yesterday I decided to pull the plug on two cabbages. They were growing enough and had a little size to them. But you could see that they had layers of brown on the inside and way, way too many leaves were laying down along the side as ground cover. They were not particularly healthy plants. None of the Napa cabbages look good at all.
So I harvested two plants and then performed major surgery I’m trying to find enough usable material to be added in as greens. I probably would never have served this to other people because I did actually want to make use of some of this so there was some dark spots in there. They were also quite a few bugs that lost their home when I gave everything a bath. Appetizing? Exactly not.
The taste was okay though. Napa cabbage is delicious. I cooked it down so it was even sweeter and I didn’t think anything was not tasty about last night’s meal. I was just making use of some second class material and getting it out of my boxes already. I can see at least one or two more meals of this coming up in the not too distant future.
I would also like to point out that napa cabbage is probably the least nutritious cruciferous vegetable you can get. It is pure fluff as far as nutrition is concerned.
Okay, was this a health risk? Not really. I’m not stupid. I know what rotten fruit is and what clean fruit is. I agree I probably have a tolerance built up. I also probably get more B12 than most vegans do simply because I have been known to eat directly from my garden when something looks good. B12 is the thing that’s lost from cleaning to say it mildly.
Basically though, I’m okay. I’m not particularly hungry this morning but I’m not sick. I don’t feel as though I have any intestinal issues from last night’s dinner. So you know, it was a junk meal. Not high cuisine. More of a money thing as much as anything. But if we are considering the last days of my fiscal year, a fiscal year that I’m not really considering so much of a failure despite it’s being my worst fiscal year ever, I would say that making a warm meal out of junk napa cabbage was one of the best possible celebrations I could have had. I got some value out of it. Napa cabbage is my favorite form of cabbage. But that’s napa cabbage you buy from the store. Next year, we are not growing Napa cabbages and we are not growing potatoes.
What am I going to do this coming year? My only plan is to finally find the inspiration to clean up my web world once and for all. I have too much junk lying around and it should be organized and made use of. Even if nothing happens, I need to have all of my previous work simplified and made available and then possibly, I might do some advertising for teaching or perhaps some marketing for a different type of English class. If that doesn’t sound like much, it is because it isn’t. Unless something comes along that drastically changes my situation, I live where I live and my life is my life and all things considered, I’m mostly retired on a very, very tight fixed budget and that’s all there is to it.
I’m sorry but I’ve lived here for the last 20 years. I am calories per kopek. I also only think of money just like everyone else. I also lived through all of the economic crises, I also watched all my money go away many, many times. I also watched everyone I know sell out every single chance they possibly could. I lived here. I learned my lessons just like everyone else here. I have the tight fist of a Kung Fu Master and I doubt there is any sad story or blue sky tale that you can tell me that would make me change my mind.
As far as heading back to the States, even with the hateful neighbors, I have more here in my little garden house than I would ever have in the states. I’m not surrounded by Instagram beauties or vast cityscapes, but I have fresh air while it lasts and the sounds of nature in my ears 99% of the time. I didn’t say it was Paradise. Socially and considering people, it is a very hateful place. But it is hateful on an extremely small scale. I know all of the hateful people by name and there are not very many of them. I also know all of the kind people by name and ironically, there are more kind people than assholes here. It’s just that the assholes make all the noise, bring all of the misery and contribute almost all of the pollution. You see how the world goes?
Like everything, it’s a little good and a little bad. For me though, it’s okay. It’s what I have.
I’m going to spend a little time in the Garden today doing some more harvesting. Most everything is going to get eaten this weekend. We haven’t spoken at all this week but I should probably drop a line to the ex-partner to find out what she wants to do. It’s time to take some food home if she’s planning on taking it. This is not universal and we still have a month of Summer left. But if she wants any sweet peas or broad beans, they are ripe and green and ready to eat. We have some kohlrabi that is ready to go and one rather beautiful broccoli that should get harvested because it’s not going to get any better than it is now.
It’s also worthy to point out that the garden is about as beautiful right now as it’s ever going to be. Certainly there are some scars from the drought. Not everything is growing and it’s absolute optimum level but basically, the boxes are full and all the plants are in the full thrush of life. Everything is getting ready for the coming winter. Everybody is making seeds and doing everything it can for their children. It’s flower season. Right now is exactly the time to come and see what we have done.
***
Meanwhile from our Southern neighbors, we have a speech that would make Shakespeare’s proud.
Happy Ukrainian Independence Day.
***
“We think people need and deserve to know where their food comes from.”
This is reason number 52,001 why I no longer eat chicken.
What came first, the chicken or the egg? Answer: Greed came before either.
Is there a question about semantics concerning eggs? For example, why can’t you legally say that eggs are “nutritious”? Answer: Because they are not. Why? Fat and cholesterol, cholesterol and fat…
“But I like eating chicken because chicken is healthier for you.”
But wait, what if eating chicken makes you fat?
Wow, but how can that be? Maybe the answer is that we are eating obese chickens…
What’s the answer? Well, I think the best I can do is to say this. Years ago, I tried my best to be a good religious jew. I studied, I prayed and I listened to the wisdom of those who wished to teach me. At the heart of the entire study, we have the word kosher. Kosher basically means clean but it also kind of means clean according to the religion. For what it’s worth, it’s very similar to the Arabic/Muslim word halal. I say this because the word halal means “permissible”. I guess this is all you need to know.
What I found is that in order to be kosher or halal there are many, many, many specifics that must be adhered to. It is an art and a science and requires a governing body and the attention of all practitioners. There are all kinds of rules of what you can and can’t do, of what is permissible and not permissible. This includes everything from the treatment of animals to how they are killed to how they are cooked and how they are served and eaten. Every step of the way is guarded and extreme and even the labeling that allows a meat product to be considered kosher is Big Business.
My answer is don’t eat meat and you’re automatically kosher. You’re also halal. Easy peasy lemon squeezy.
There is an old Soviet joke about that. The joke says that NASA spent more than a billion dollars to create a pen that could write in zero gravity. The Russians used pencils.
See how that works?
***
Okay, it’s about 2:30 and I guess I’m thinking about how to get this week finished.
Lena came by a little while ago and brought me some apples. That was very nice of her. I don’t need the apples but it was nice of her to think about me.
I spoke to my ex partner this morning and she is planning to come up on Sunday. I think I made it clear that she should not bring me any food. I don’t mean to be a jerk but I have more food right now than I can possibly eat. Anyway, it’ll be nice to have some company.
I have not heard back from that actress. I don’t know what it could possibly mean but I hope I at least get back a message. Maybe an opinion.
I got a call from a former student today, one of my favorites of all time. She is married and living in Georgia now. I don’t know what’s going on with her because we haven’t touched base in a while but we did today and we have a plan to talk a bit on Monday. Very nice.
There have been no calls from Minsk or the land inspector.
What else? The house is clean, the garden is in pretty good shape. I am going to water again today. I will not water tomorrow unless it’s boiling hot but they do predict at least a little rain so maybe I’ll get lucky.
My plan for dinner tonight is some fresh bread, some hummus and some lightly cooked vegetables. What else do I need? I ate a really big breakfast which probably put me off my Friday evening meal. I don’t know why I kept adding food to the pot. I thought it was simple enough but though I’m not brain dead, I am absolutely not hungry.
It’s also very quiet. But it’s a beautiful day. It’s warm but not ridiculously warm. There are some fluffy clouds in the sky. My garden is green and bursting with life. Okay, I’m kind of overstating it but the flowers are blooming everywhere, there is more food lying around than I need. I’m certainly not at a loss for female friends and I seem to be getting along with my male friends as well. I guess it would be nice if my legs felt better but other than that, let’s be grateful for the end of July.
Yeah really, this genuinely is a remarkably peaceful moment. I’m glad I took the trouble to take note. Thank you.
***
Well, it’s 7:30 and I am definitely at the end. The field has been watered, all the tools have been brought in, the bread is in its last minutes of baking, the soup and the hummus are ready to go and so am I. I’ve even had my bath and changed into clean clothes. The only thing left to do is to say a prayer and Let It go.
I just have one thought that might relate somehow to empathy for my neighbors. It actually does not really shine a nice light on them. Even if I wanted to, some clown is running a weed whacker even now on Friday night. I know I shouldn’t take this personally but then again, they have told me that I should so many times, I can’t help but do it.
The point that needs to be made is that in their heads, I’m talking about the inevitable Russian mentality question, they are civilized. They learned this either from genuine practice of trying to be civilized people during the time of the Soviet Union or from propaganda. Either way, it became a part of their pragmatic understanding of themselves. The Americans were savages. They were low idiots who couldn’t think past money. They were murderers and hateful people. These things all went together and were probably justified by a communist system that effectively freed people from worrying about money. All the arguments in the world exist over who is corrupt and who is not but you cannot help to think that in a society where everybody gets paid, it was true enough. If not 90%, so far above 50% that it isn’t even an argument.
The problem of course is that they no longer have this social economic system. The government claims that they have a social economic system but this only means that the government puts their fingers into everything. Everybody is still a wage slave, either being forced to accept ridiculous and minimal wages to work for the state or to be under pressure as an outsider should they work for entrepreneurs. And of course in any capitalistic system, a few percent rise to the top and everyone else just suffers for the peanuts.
What still remains are two things. The first is that the Americans are savages and the second is that they themselves are civilized. They absolutely believe that they are better than me, smarter than me and that any knowledge I might possibly have is related to savagery. If you don’t want to believe me, just look at the rationale for the Russians shooting missiles at civilian targets in Ukraine. They are fascist. The country with a Jewish president is fascist. And the country simply bombing the country randomly from City to City, practicing war crimes and looting and raping and murdering often without any military goal is the civilized country.
That this does not make any sense really doesn’t matter. That the entire argument falls down like a house of cards if even given a slight bit of critical thinking means nothing. Thinking is now forbidden. Disagreement with government policy is forbidden. Demonstrating or frankly, even trying to run for office from an outside party is forbidden. It’s criminal and people get thrown in jail for a really long time.
So I live with savages. This is not a moment of understanding for me, it’s a moment of logic and rhetoric for me. I am writing about this for the benefit of my readers. I knew this a long time ago. I’m just saying it’s a way to look at things. And here I’m also saying that I have at least enough empathy to understand that my noisy and polluting chicken neighbors believe in their minds that they are the civilized ones. I know it doesn’t make sense but it’s something to think about.
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