Monday, June 20th 2022
It’s 8:00 and I’m just starting to begin the thought process of moving. Probably this has some empathetic ESP connection to my ex partner showing up at work. I am aware at least one aspect of the rhythms of my life have to do with the rhythms of her life. No complaints. Mostly I’m just a troll in all of this, especially on Mondays. She has to get up and get dressed. I don’t have to do a damn thing.
I’ve noticed that lately the thing that actually gets me moving in the morning is making a list of things that I need to do. I keep thinking that there is an end to this. I mentioned this to my ex partner yesterday and she just smiled and said that taking care of land was a never-ending process. Probably she’s right.
The thing is that I do understand that there are always things to do. Perhaps again, and I know I talk about this a lot, but if I had not built up the boxes this year and I had gone with my original plan which was to concentrate almost exclusively on perennials, I would have a lot less to do. I haven’t forgotten that and eventually, perhaps as early as next year, we are going to replace the lower gardens, this year’s lentil gardens, with trees and berry bushes. This will basically connect my plot to the forest and end quite a bit of worry about weeding etc.
Or maybe I’m missing the point of all of this and a lot of the interest and excitement or even pressure of this year comes from the fact that I’m doing a lot of things for the first time. Once I do it and I get the movements under my fingers so to speak, it’s not really a big deal. You make a plan and you execute it. The bike ride that got me back on the train within an hour last week was something like this. None of those movements except going to that particular market was new. I could be a pro at it which is how I usually like to do things.
I’m also spending more money than I want to spend. Yesterday was an example of that. We started off by talking about whether I wanted a weed wacker or not. I went online and shopped for several electric models that seemed suitable. But then we had a conversation about where to plant five new berry bushes. Most of my land is kind of booked up at the moment. If it hasn’t already been planted, it’s specifically been left wild and is now blooming in a lovely way with wildflowers. I really didn’t want to start chopping up my natural spaces. It’s one of the great pleasures of my life actually.
So I showed my ex partner and an alternative space that would work very well. It’s a place that gets a lot of sun but not a lot of water. I pointed out how you could understand this by the texture of the grass. There was more Brown in those areas and it was not as lush as the places that are well fed. This means that it would be a spot that required a lot of artificial watering. Not a big deal, but you do have to go out there.
The point though is that the grass had to be cut back and for this, I broke out my trusty 50 year old scythe. Okay, I don’t actually know that it’s 50 years old. The blade is well worn and the technology is easily from the Soviet Union. Even if it’s 20 years old or 25, it’s still a relic.
It also still cuts grass. Like I said, if I actually get an opportunity to physically do something, I do have an understanding how it works and this was not the first time I ever cut grass with a scythe. I am not good at it so I’m not even going to pretend to have any professional level understanding. But I know the basic movement and I know some of the pitfalls such as getting the tip caught in the ground or cutting in an uneven manner which leaves a lot of a mess. Also, I don’t have a machine grinder so it’s really hard to get the blade as sharp as you want it to truly go through the grass easily. This meant I had to double and triple cut.
No matter, the job was done in less than 5 minutes and the place was clear enough to dig some holes.
Suddenly I was back into rethinking whether or not I wanted to buy a weed wacker. There are pluses and minuses of course. On the plus side, it’s a lot less work and you can do much finer work. In my case, it means that I could keep the weeds from growing on the outside of my boxes which would minimize to an extent the amount of weeds that end up in my boxes. I also could give my pathways a little help. Three giant plusses really. On the other hand, old school is usually good school and my cost of using the technology already on hand is exactly zero. A little physical exercise, a little torso twisting and I can probably get 90% of what I want within a few minutes.
Okay, why am I even thinking about cutting my grass?
The only two reasons that make sense for this are ease of movement to a certain extent. I don’t mind walking through the jungle really even when it’s wet. I don’t mind the amount of life that ends up in tall grass. I have a ton of grasshoppers and to be honest, I rather enjoy their company. It’s just a little bit of nature’s beauty that I get because I do not inhibit growth unilaterally. I don’t mind them being around and I love their music.
Another great Plus from leaving my field alone is that I have a lot of ragwort. This is an unappreciated and almost completely useless plant for people but butterflies absolutely adore it. It makes these tiny little Daisy-like flowers as you can see and during the summer months, the insects create a flying circus around all of the blooming flowers throughout the garden. For the life of me, I can’t understand why people refuse to acknowledge the beauty of this. I can’t think of anything better about this place than the amount of butterflies I get here. And yesterday, when we were talking about where to plant our new berry bushes, I simply refused to let us cut more deeply into the berry garden we have right now simply because it is a natural home to ragwort and it’s right near my kitchen window which means butterflies come to visit all the time.
But then there is compost. I do have a very large amount of grass in the backside of my house that I could cut away without harming anything whatsoever. This section of the house was left as it is both because it was home to the animals. I’m sure they had a cow and possibly even a horse over the history of this house. Certainly they kept pigs. You can smell it still in the fireplace. Now, it’s main purpose is as a driveway and even though I don’t drive a car, we have taken deliveries on a couple of occasions. There used to be a way to open up the fence on the other side but I’ve closed that up. I’ve planted fruit trees there and I don’t want any more traffic on that side of my property.
You may think I’m making a little bit too much of this decision. I’m sure most people would simply say that if you need it, you should buy it. And I am thinking about whether I wish to make this purchase. There is a huge percentage of myself that is simply too lazy to even argue with. A weed whacker would make quick work of a large area on my property and the residue would probably be enough to feed the compost bins which will feed next year’s boxes. On the other side, for a little bit more muscle and a little bit more time, I can do a slightly less efficient job of it and still collect enough grass. Be cheap and old school or be modern and throw some money at the problem, that is the question.
Or I can just enjoy thinking about it.
Like I said, Monday mornings are not for bursting into action. They are for a lot of people but they are not for me. I’m not really fond of raising my middle finger. It’s a bit demonstrative. I know the gesture. I’m capable of doing it. I’m sure I think about it all the time. I don’t need to say nasty words to anyone on Monday. I don’t need to brag and I don’t need to gloat. All I’m saying is that my only motivation for movement right now seems to be to think about what I need to do today. The answer, happily enough, is not so bloody much at all.
I do need to do two more trellises. We have a bean bed and I have a bed for peas. Both of these need some kind of structures. The only thing I don’t have are dowels or long pieces of rebar that I can just tap into the ground. I don’t have bamboo or anything like that. I could probably get them and this might be the easiest thing to do for the beans. Or, maybe I’ll just rig up something similar to what I did yesterday. Or maybe I can just go into the forest and start collecting sticks and stuffing them into the ground as bean poles.
Or I might just wait a few days and go back to my favorite plan which is just to find some t-posts at the middle shop and pick up some inexpensive fencing. That would be about 15 minutes work and be perfect for the beans to climb into. It would also be completely recyclable and would last many years I suppose. This is what I did 15 years ago. I just simply strung up offense and let the beans make use of it.
What else? Not much.
My day to go into town will be Wednesday. Wednesday is going to end up to be a pretty busy day. Theoretically, the land inspectors will show up one of these days. They never call and whenever they decide to make their parents will be just fine. Buying a few boxes of glass should be happening within the next couple of weeks. Again, I’m not in a great Rush because harvest is a month or 6 weeks away from becoming a serious issue. We already have a pickle barrel. If we want, I have two barrels and we can use one for the cabbages and the other for the pickles without any problem. I have all the wood I need. My electric heating is sound and in good order. What else? Nothing else. That’s the point. Everything’s under control and What needs to get done is on a schedule.
So that’s the story. If I feel like working, I’ll go connect a few boards and make a pair of spaces to toss compost. We picked out a good spot, the place right near where my neighbor Parks her poison gas machine. The trees don’t want to grow very well there so maybe it’ll be a good place for grass, kitchen waste and whatever else we want to throw into it to be. I think you have to make your own plant food. You’re just not a good gardener unless you make your own plant food.
Breakfast? I don’t know. I’m just not hungry. You know what? I’m going back to sleep.
***
Mr Zelinski tells us that this week is going to be a make or break time. The Russians are continuing their program of annihilation especially in the Eastern Donbass corridor to the sea. Never forget, this is an oil War. The president of Ukraine mentions The bravery of the country’s infrastructure and that they are continuing to grow vegetables and do agricultural work despite the hostilities and hardship of the attack. This week is important because Ukraine is expecting a positive final decision on acceptance by the European Union. If this happens, at least theoretically, this would invite Europe and NATO more directly into the war. It would also be a massive statement to the Russians.
What does this mean to me? I am not far from the Ukrainian border. This is the western side of the country. There have been some missile attacks not only to the capital but to the western part of the country. And, though technically Belarus has not actively entered the war, we are obviously supportive of the Russians and they have shot missiles from a town very close to Pinsk. I haven’t had too much of this recently, but they were flying recon missions over the forest in military helicopters and we still have military vehicles parked all over the region. We are on full alert and if things escalate to any kind of full on War, there is no doubt that Belarus will once again be a battleground. It seems that all Belarus does is sit around and take heat for Russia. Why we do this is beyond me. Why the country cannot be independent in any way it can be independent has always been beyond me. Why we need to have War is obviously a part of this backwards thinking.
I really can’t do anything about this. I don’t have a say in politics that means anything. I understand I have a few people who read me, especially in official offices. I am kept track of. But I don’t really have any political power and my words generally don’t mean anything to anybody. I am a safe bet which is probably why I get left alone. And if War does start up and nobody particularly wants to find me, I’m in a pretty good place. There is no reason for anyone to come here.
On the other side of the coin, if things do heat up and get real, I am afraid that the town would be a Target.
But then again, if I really think as deeply into this as I can, no future looks very nice to me. Globalization took longer to get here but nevertheless it is here. Maybe we’re starting out with violence and the leadership is just planning on rewriting history when the mess is over and the blood has been shed by everybody but them.
It’s not going to work. Globalization is just another word for capitalism and it doesn’t work. It doesn’t work because it’s not sustainable and it doesn’t work because it creates too much garbage. It creates human garbage by removing vested interest and any sense of self from people. It destroys everything and therefore it makes life not worth living. This is the unfortunate end for all of it. We are just looking at millions and millions of wasted lives all so a very small group of people can live ostentatiously. It’s perverse already. It’s all perversity.
Good luck with your money and guns. I don’t know what to tell you. I just lost my appetite for wealth a long time ago. I just don’t really need to be rich. I would just prefer to be left alone. I would just prefer not to be bothered by the Hysteria. Sorry, I lost my appetite.
***
It’s 6:30 and I am pretty much done for the day. I spent almost all of today outside. I turned off the electronics except for 10 minutes to check my emails. It was very hot and for the most part, the heat kept me pretty slow and stupid. I didn’t accomplish anything close to what I had planned but I did a lot. I cleaned up several gardens and tightened up one of the boxes. I wanted to set up a trestle for the beans and the peas but I got lost and thought about how to do it. I know what I want, I just don’t have exactly the resources. I know how to create the resources, I have the basic materials to make what I want except for a tool, skill saw. I don’t know how to rip 2 m of board by hand effectively. I mean, I could just saw at it with a hand saw and get to the end eventually but I don’t even have a vice.
Sticks would be perfect. That’s all I really want is a bunch of sticks. I thought about going out into the forest and hunting sticks and just doing the best I could with what I found. But what I really want is simple straight sticks. I would happily chop up the boards I have if I had a skill saw. I would take bamboo if I could find it.
The best design that I came up with was simply for triangles with a nailer board attached to all three and strings creating a cage around the beans. I can do this without too much problem. I need a little bit more string than I have.
But then again, there is a shopping trip coming up this week. If I can find some t posts, I would happily pick up some fencing and stretch it between some simple steel rods. Completely reusable year after year and it probably wouldn’t even cost that much money. But that trip is in the future and it isn’t today and so I didn’t do as much as I thought I wanted to.
I did start out the day with a rather massive things to do list. I was surprised at how many things I actually have on the menu if I really dig into it. Nothing in here is painful and unfortunately, nothing is really worth any money coming back. But it’s in the budget except for the budget of my time and energy and willingness to do this work. My legs go bad after a while. My legs right now are absolutely killing me.
I’m also thinking about letting dinner go tonight. Usually, I’m pretty religious about getting two meals a day. I’ll have three meals or even four on Saturdays but normally I’m a breakfast and dinner man. Tonight though, I’m just not feeling it. I had some sunflower seeds and some dates and a glass of water a little while ago. A little bit of sugar and fat sort of revived me enough to make me pick up and do this. I don’t really want to do more than this right now to be honest. Maybe tomorrow I’ll have more gas in the tank.
Ria used to talk about fasting for really long periods of time. She’s pretty Christian and I think this fasting business is a part of her devotion. I could save some snide things but I won’t. To me, it’s an alien form of masochism to want to go 30 days without eating. I think she does this once a year. She claims it’s incredibly healthy for her. She says it picks up her energy, cleans out all the crap that’s in her system and after a few days, she doesn’t really mind living on nothing but water.
A long time ago, on a personal challenge, I went 3 days without eating. I was pretty much insane by the end of it as I remember. I couldn’t think of anything but food. According to people who get into this sort of thing, after 3 days you start getting used to it. I’ve said that a hundred times. Anything you practice you get better at and your body will adapt to almost anything you ask it to do within three or four days.
I doubt very seriously that I will simply quit eating for a while. I just don’t feel like making dinner. I don’t feel like eating food anymore today. I wasn’t really hungry when I ate the dates and the sunflower seeds. I just thought it was a good idea.
It’s possible that there is something wrong with me. It’s also possible that it’s just very hot. It’s even more possible that I am a bit fat from eating too much lately. It’s also pretty reasonable that how much pain it is walking around seems to dictate that I don’t really have the freedom of movement to follow my heart. I may want to be aggressive and do things but I really don’t have the freedom of movement to just go. I did my thing today pretty hard. I got a lot done. But by the end of the day, it was pure misery. Even now, I know I should get up and do just a few more things before quitting for the night. I know I will do these things. I just really don’t want to.
They say it’s going to rain tomorrow. Right now the clouds have come in and the sky has turned gray. It was a very warm sun all day. I didn’t Wilt under it like my ex partner did yesterday. She didn’t like being out in the hot sun at all and really started to fall apart during our building of the pickle trellis. I don’t really think I felt crushing heat as my problem. I just didn’t want to walk. I didn’t mind the hot sun and sunshine. I just didn’t want to get off the stool.
We shall see if there is any relief in sight. Tomorrow is another home day. I’ll probably do the same thing again and head out in the garden and work my way through problems. They say it’s going to rain and if it does, I probably won’t stand out in it. I mean, if it felt good, I would and if it does feel good, maybe I will. I’m just saying that the work is not going to get done with an iron fist. I am neither a fascist nor a masochist. I’m just taking care of a garden.
Anyway, I wish I had some wisdom to share here. I’m not really convinced my job is to be a philosopher every time. I’m not even sure I learned anything today. It was just very hot and I spent the day outside instead of hanging around my computer. Maybe this is the wisdom. Maybe we should all take electronic fasting days. Maybe sometimes it’s good just to get away from it all.
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