Monday, May 30th 2022

8:00 a.m. on Monday morning and I have not even started to move. I have no particular schedule. I have nowhere I need to go very badly. I have a few percent of the need to go to town but it does not have to be today. If I wanted to hang out with my ex partner, that would be today but there is no need to run. I have nothing but time.

I feel extremely comfortable right where I am. I feel physically comfortable, perhaps more physically comfortable than I have felt in a while. It doesn’t take much analysis to understand why. I have plenty of fresh water to drink. I eat a lot of really good food. I get plenty of fresh air. I get regular exercise. And over the last couple of days, I even started getting back into my meditative weight workout. I don’t think I’ve ever found a sufficient name for this. It’s really just slow weight lifting and stretching perhaps. I do it with a timer, a gong actually if you want to know the truth, I do it without counting repetitions and I do it for a specific period of time. I hang in there long enough to feel that I’ve done something but not so long that I have to tax myself to the end of my limits. It’s not really defined my optimum athletic capabilities. It’s just to inspire calm.

It’s also raining. Thank god, thank god, thank God. When it rains, everything that’s growing on the field gets what it needs. Everything grows in the rain. And everything gets taken care of by god/nature. I’m the guy who picks up the slack when God’s out of town. My job is just to help the children do their thing when Nature is not there. I am perfectly okay being a pinch hitter. I am excellent on days like today when I get to sit on the bench and just watch the game. 

Why am I not nervous on Monday morning? I own the team. It’s my company. I can’t get fired for being lazy on Monday morning. If I want to be lazy on Monday morning, and I often do, we can just make that company policy.

Does it sound too good to be true? It probably is. The World turns and the seasons change and the pages of the calendar get torn off. Sure, bad things always happen. Bad things happen to everybody whether you are a good person or a bad person.

I saw a movie about time travel one time that thought it important to give the secret of life and love. The question had something to do with why you should bother with love when you know it won’t last. The answer was that though it is true that all love ends, whether it’s people changing and moving in different directions or even the end of life, understanding that all we get are moments means that you should be happy when you have such beautiful moments.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not being that romantic. I don’t mean to torture my ex partner though I kind of like torturing her on Monday morning when she has to go back to slavery and I do not. She simply does not trust my economics and I certainly cannot blame her. She has no interest in my minimalist lifestyle except as a curiosity. She’s an urban dweller. She likes to get her hands dirty and she likes taking care of the plants very much. But she doesn’t want to do this life. At least not yet and she definitely doesn’t trust the economics.

Either way, I’m okay. There’s a funny thing about living out here alone. There are times when you feel very anxious to get things done. There is pressure and time and sometimes, especially when I end up having to go to town, I have to rev up to a certain level to make sure that I am successful and on time for what I have to do. I’m not a young man and it isn’t nothing to make this ride. Maybe there was a period of time when I was living in town that I wouldn’t think twice about making a ride to the market if I was bored or even to go look around for some things that I needed. Now, it’s a massive chore and one I can usually rethink and decide to live without.

Perhaps this is a lesson for other people. The argument as to whether I am only speaking about myself or if I am trying to be universal is always on the table. Whether or not I truly have things that I need to do or whether I can live without them is always worthy of discussion. I definitely have things that I need to do. I have a few unpleasant things that require my attention. I know all this. I know everything that I need to take care of.

All I’m saying is that not needing to throw myself into the game just because it’s Monday morning is a gift I gave myself a long time ago. Perhaps it started with the gift of shabbos. That was a gift given to me by my ancestors, some clever people who figured out that you definitely need to take a day off and that it should be holy. But having started that practice, you learn a few things about taking your time and being practical. Once you learn how not to be taken away by the flow, you find many ways to pick and choose your time to surf the waves.

I’m not bragging or trying to portray myself as some kind of a genius. Far from it. You would not want my economics nor my lifestyle. Perhaps given the opportunity, you might learn to appreciate it but at a glance, no way. This thing that I do is very much like my life history. I am never attractive at a glance. I am only beautiful if you take the time to get into it. But then again, so are most of the most beautiful things in the world. The things with curb appeal, the things that beg emotional decisions, the decisions we make based upon greed or avarice or jealousy never serve in the long run. Those immediate emotional reactions are almost always have. It’s the slow things that matter. The things that move with the seasons are the things that matter.

I do have some things to do and I will get to them today. Today is going to be a long day and mostly an inside day. I like when it’s raining. I like my life very much when it’s raining. When it’s raining and I have no pressing need to get wet, I love rainy days.

***

ok, I told you I do not have anything pressing. I had some potatoes and greens for breakfast and sat down in the office to pretend I have work to do. During a video from a guitar builder named Tim Sway, he showcased a guitar he built that for some reason, he calls the Pinsk. 

I posted a comment asking why he named the guitar like this and if he takes the time to answer, I’ll let you know.

Just so you know, I really do have things to do. Really I do. I am not just sitting here and watching videos. I am deeply enmeshed in some serious stuff that has life or death consequnses. ok, I know what you are thinking. You think I am just making this story about working up to hide the fact that I am really not doing anything but sitting around and watching videos. I do not need to explain myself to you. I am not in need of your aproval nor am I worried about keeping up apearences. You wanna know the truth? You can’t handle it but I’ll tell you. I am really not doing anything important right now at all and actually, I am just trying to create enough text to get around this screenshot from the video. 

ok? Good. I’ll let you know what Sway has to say if he writes me back. 

By the way, the opening words of the video are: “Hey, I do not know what you do for a living but I make problems for mysel and try to fix them.”

I say “Amen” brother. Tim Sway is a member of the tribe.  

*** 

I just got a note from my ex partner. Apparently the Mona Lisa has been attacked by a French eco-activist.

The “Mona Lisa” was attacked in an apparent climate protest on Sunday. A man disguised as an old lady in a wheelchair had attempted to smash the glass protecting the painting in the Louvre before he smothered the glass with cake, saying in French, “People are destroying the Earth.”

Sometimes I feel that I’ve hardly done fuck all as an activist. I am actually happy to say that he did not actually harm the painting. Also, I find it hard to truly get behind the action because I’m sure there was dairy in the cake and of course sugar is extremely terrible for you. On the other hand, the guy is right on two fronts. Number one, the world is being destroyed by greed, stupidity and economic slavery under the corporations and the oil business. And number two, you have to be absolutely outrageous to get anyone to listen to the truth these days.

***

Named after my friend Phil Pinsky! His heritage is obviously tied to your city. 

This was the answer from Tim Sway concerning the name of the guitar. All I can say is that it’s a cool looking guitar and Mr Sway has quite a few cool ideas about guitar making. You should definitely check out his channel if you’re interested in such things. I also commented on another of his videos about a bass guitar built from a water ski that had a sliding pickup. Because you can slide it forward and backwards you can change the tone that way. Apparently he has built several guitars with this very cool feature.

It’s been raining a little bit today so I haven’t really had a lot to do but I just went out for a garden walk around and these nice rains that we’ve been having have certainly brought everything to life. Pretty much everything we planted so far except for the zucchini and the squash are starting to pop. The peas, flat beans and black beans have all made their way out of the ground and are showing themselves. There are quite a few sunflowers making their first appearances and a good section of the lentil Garden, previously known as The Bean Garden, has started to mature already.

I also took my first taste of the spinach we planted. Just one leaf. It had an excellent healthy bite to it and that beautiful buttery taste that you look forward to in spinach. No, we did not plant anything particularly exotic. But everything we planted is coming up. I like it. I like it a lot.

I got a call from a friend a couple of hours ago and he offered me some peppers if I wanted to plant them. That’s nice. Sometimes people have more peppers than they have places for. I’m not even sure I have places for these peppers but I think we can work something out somehow. 

Also, if I failed to mention this, we got 10 sweet potato shoots from a seller in Pinsk. Our attempts to get some shoots from three store-bought sweet potatoes basically ended up with us tossing the sweet potatoes in the ground as fertilizer. We started to get one tiny shoot off of one of them but mice ate it and also ate exactly the top of the sweet potato. I’m glad somebody enjoyed those things.

So it’s nice really. My ex partner and I feel like foster parents. I feel like we have this enormous family right now growing right before our eyes.

There are a couple of things that need to be replanted. Three of the berry bushes I planted last fall have obviously failed. I planted some mint in one of those places but my thinking is we could bring in some raspberries or blackberries without too much problem. The place where we keep the berry garden is very wet and fertile.

I’m also thinking of replanting two fruit trees that are in that same Garden. At the time, I was not really planting anything but trees and berry bushes. It turns out that I was a bit more mobile and energetic this spring. I’m not complaining. But I’m thinking of replanting those two fruit trees. The problem is that they have an exceptional amount of water where they are and moving them will definitely limit their diet. I’ll be happy to take these fruit trees as they are or even one of them even though they are going to destroy the view from my kitchen window when they grow. I don’t know. It’s a choice that needs to be made though.

Of course, the season is just beginning and you never can tell what’s going to happen. Right now it’s very wet and the plants are all very happy but I would not plan on the next 90 days being this positive for growing. I’m planning on a genuine struggle for water. And I’m not even getting into the beginning of insect problems.

At the moment though, everything is very beautiful. I’m really happy about the appearance of wild flowers. I’m glad that I did not make use of all my land for planting and left some just the way it was last year except for the addition of some fruit trees. All but four of the trees that I planted last year are flowering at least to a certain point. The four that aren’t are exactly perpendicular to where my neighbors Park their bloody car. I’m afraid to replant. I’m afraid the Land There is simply poisoned by auto fuel and oil dropped on the ground.

We do not have the longest growing season here. In more southerly climbs, they started even a month ago. But the world is not particularly normal. It’s not healthy. 12 years of drought means something. It’s sick. It’s very sick. Even walking through the forest over the weekend you could see that the trees were dry. You do not have to be an agricultural expert to understand it. The trees were all exceptionally dry.

As of the moment though, I’m basking in the beauty of it all. As of the moment, the world is absolutely perfect to be in. We’re getting plenty of water over the last week, the well is full and the water is drinkable. I have had my first taste from our boxes and I can see that it’s delicious. I still have dozens of kilos of potatoes lying around, more horseradish greens than I could ever possibly eat and all my boxes are starting to grow.

For this I say thank you.

***

It took me all day to get this. This song, я Вдома (I’m Home), was written by Katarina Ofliyan and sung here by Natalia Mogilevskaya.

Чуєш ці постріли?
Янголи з серця летять
Стільки їх поспіль там, наші герої стоять
Стіною, стіною – за наше майбутнє з тобою

Боже, як боляче, думки по колу постійно
Лишила чоловіка, щоб врятувати сина
Діва Марія – звичайна жінка з України

Вільна та непокірна
Душа – рвана та сильна
Я вдома, попри біль і втому
Вільна, буде боліти
Дай нам Бог все прожити
Я вдома, сонце вийде скоро

Пліч о пліч стоїмо, різні, але єдині
Стільки зла скоєно, дикий звір проти людини
Світ усе бачить, а ми ніколі не пробачим

Душать сльози, та я буду співати від болю
Наші герої стоять, й ми встоїмо і з тобою
Стіною, стіною – за наше майбутнє з тобою

Вільна та непокірна
Душа – рвана та сильна
Я вдома, попри біль і втому
Вільна, буде боліти
Дай нам Бог все прожити
Я вдома, сонце вийде скоро

Вільна та непокірна
Душа – (рвана та сильна)
Я (вдома, попри біль і втому)
Вільна, буде боліти
Дай нам Бог це прожити
Я вдома, сонце вийде скоро

Do you hear those shots? Angels flying with heart
So many are in their lines
But our heroes are standing there like a wall
Like a wall for our future with you

God, how painful thoughts constantly circle
Left her husband to save her son
The Virgin Mary is an ordinary woman from Ukraine

We are free and rebellious
Our soul is ragged but strong
I’m home despite the pain and fatigue
Freedom will hurt
God let us all live
I’m home and the sun will be here soon

Side by side we stand, different but united
So much evil committed against humans, they are wild animals
The world sees everything and we will never forgive

Choking back tears, I will sing of the pain
But our heroes are standing there like a wall
Like a wall for our future with you

We are free and rebellious
Our soul is ragged but strong
I’m home despite the pain and fatigue
Freedom will hurt
God let us all live
I’m home and the sun will be here soon

We are free and rebellious
Our soul is ragged but strong
I’m home despite the pain and fatigue
Freedom will hurt
God let us all live
I’m home and the sun will be here soon

***

It’s a little bit before midnight and I guess I’m finished. I’ve been at the computer for the last few hours working on some rather unpleasant things. We will see how these things show themselves within the next few days. I hate situations like this but I guess it’s better to do something than to do nothing.

I want to make one more shout out to my ex partner. She found a flaw in my translation from the Ukrainian. I guess I am a little out of practice translating. There was a Russian idiom, стоять стеной, standing like a wall and I missed it. I wouldn’t say that I was completely off, my original translation also made sense grammatically (Стіною, стіною – to the walls) but her logic made more sense so I’m going to go with that change. Both of us really like this song and she told me that it was really emotional for her.

Days like today don’t really come around so much for me. Usually I have more to do or at least I assign myself more to do. Today had a lot of nothing in it. Not that I minded or that I wasn’t grateful for it. I probably did a little bit more yesterday than I should. I wish I was more resilient. I wish I had a little bit more to give.

But if anything, I should give thanks for such peaceful days, peaceful days without bombs falling on My Head. Peaceful days where all we have is free to grow. Today was a good day.