Thursday, May 26th 2022
It’s 9:00 a.m., kind of a late start for me. I had a few ups and downs during the night and ended up sleeping through the morning. I feel okay. Actually I feel rather excellent, if perhaps a bit fat. Dinner last night was large. Cream of field greens is a good way to call it. Maybe vegan cream of field greens is better. Just a simple concoction on top of horseradish leaves. I was full. I’m still full.
But I’m waking up today in the clear air with a clean head and I’m thinking of doing some office work. Or, I’m picking grass and doing some weeding. We finally had excellent rainfall during the night. All of the buckets are full, even those that I used to water the field the other day. Excellent! The groundwater however is at 204 cm, which leaves me a total of only 540 l. Unfortunately, in reality this is only 353 l of actual availability. Enough to water the field and enough to fill up one bucket but you can see that the water level is dropping even with the rain.
I’m not going into town today though I probably should. I have a couple of deals to talk about but I can’t decide whether I’m making this move out of panic. I don’t really need to buy anything. I have all I need. I know that my ex partner is coming up on Sunday but tonight is yoga night so we wouldn’t even really have the evening together. Yes, she likes yoga better than me.
The panic has something to do with criminal activity from my family. But this seems to be my problem and needs to get worked out somehow, some way. I wish I had an easy road or an easy answer but I don’t. Really, There is almost nothing I can do about it.
If you are thinking that the answer to the question is to go back to the United States, unfortunately I don’t see this as a reasonable investment. I wish I could tell you all the facets of my thinking and I know that if you are american, this should be the easiest choice that anyone could possibly make. I’m just telling you that from what I know about the US, my own economics and my abilities to have even something resembling a reasonable life simply do not exist at this moment. I don’t have enough money to go there and make this Gamble, and it is a huge and gigantic risk for me, and could absolutely destroy everything I have built in my life.
On the other hand, there is a war next door, the nation I’m living in has thrown in with the most hated Nation on the planet right now. Well, that’s not exactly true. In fact, Zelinski has a video talking about this right now.
Here, despite generally Open arms throughout Europe, Zelinski takes offense at ancient Henry Kissinger’s call to just give a chunk of the country to the Russians, specifically the region allowing a corridor to Crimea and the Black Sea for oil access as a way of not bringing War to Europe. Zelinski, perhaps rightly so, mentions that this decision is very similar to Kissinger’s own family history with the Nazis and says it’s very similar to asking the Jews to assimilate and adapt rather than flee or fight. Zelinsky of course is Jewish. It’s easy to see where the metaphor comes from.
What is obvious though is that the war is tied in with the oil business and the oil business is not interested in stopping anytime soon. What is also apparent is that despite Ukrainian fighting both on the battlefield, in the cities in its own infrastructure and by the president in his ongoing propaganda battle and efforts to join Europe, getting popular support does not seem to equate from getting political support. Nobody wants to get harmed themselves and nobody wants to give up their cars.
Personally, I feel like a dog barking in the wind. I feel that my voice is so silent right now that I’m beginning to consider myself crazy for even hearing it myself. I keep thinking to myself that there are reasonable and fair solutions to things but the world just keeps telling me that it just wants to keep its hateful emotions.
It’s ironic, and I seriously hate mentioning this, but on my algorithm that includes quite a number of Americans, the latest school shootings and racial slaughters have become more interesting. These of course never get thought out in terms of how to stop such things. Within the last week, a couple of 18-year-olds raised on electronic propaganda and entertainment, fueled by whatever hormonal problems come along with the age and aided and abetted by A system that says making money from the sale of Guns is simply making money and therefore exactly what is good for the country led to almost 40 deaths from automatic assault weapons. Just like that. Happy birthday to me, I feel like buying some guns and ammo and frankly, I feel like using it to take a few people out because I wish to make my mark on the world.
Brap brap brap and school children never get to go to graduation or come home again. Lives are destroyed, families of these lives are destroyed and yet, nobody ever, ever, ever gets the idea that human beings should not have access to weapons. No one ever gets the thought that we generally should not be killing each other nor producing weapons that kill nor producing economic systems that drive people to despair nor to have social systems designed to show young impressionable people that killing is only a part of video games, a part of life and something to do to quell their own boredom and insecurities. What the hell kind of world have we built for ourselves? How do we justify this horrible disgusting filthy mess that we have made for ourselves to live in?
I wish I could tell you all of the things I know that make me so despair. I wish I could tell you of all of the misery personally handed to me by people who know no other way of interacting with others other than with fear and hate. I know where this comes from. I know what kind of literature is out there and I know what kind of popular propaganda is available to people and fed directly into their minds from their hand and their electronic devices. I understand the politics of hate, who makes money off of this and how crazy, literally insane the world is right now.
Really, it’s hard for me to rectify all of this. It’s hard for me to be aware of these crimes that we commit against ourselves. Crimes committed for money or hatred or irrational beliefs. The world we live in is simply reprehensible across the board.
I’ve got some things to do today. I guess I’m going to do some cleaning and light work today. The weather is very cool so I might pick some grass out of my gardens. I didn’t really put enough cardboard at the bottom of my boxes and I also had a lot of ground that had grass seed in it so, there is a lot of grass trying to grow. You just stand there and pluck them out. There’s nothing else to do about it and at the end of the year, we can give the beds a good rake and comb out whatever structures have developed. We may never completely stop them but, maybe next year I’ll use a better mulch.
I also think I’m going to clean up the office today and get the computer up and running. I’ve got a few things to take care of and maybe it’s time to move back into the office for my work days. It’s not really hunger for money that’s driving me there. It’s just my desire to clean things up and put things in order. I don’t like things not being orderly. I don’t like disorderly work situations and I don’t really like disorderly people. If this is my biggest problem in the world, it’s not news to me but I just don’t like people who scream as a way of talking or who harm people as a way of communication. It’s just not my way of living and it burdens me to see how much of my life gets taken away by exactly these sorts of people.
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Wow, what a miserable morning this is. I thought it got off pretty well and I actually felt pretty good. I started moving around and didn’t feel so bad doing it. I went outside and checked on the gardens and everything looks very lively. Even a few sunflower seeds are starting to break the surface. A little splash of yellow won’t be bad at all. And the potatoes seem to be moving okay. This is a no dig potato set and all we did is bury it on top of decent planting soil and cover it with grass. I like it.
Then I broke into the office and swept up a little bit. I reconnected the computer and said everything up so it works. I haven’t been in here for a while so it feels kind of fresh. Both of the windows are open which makes this a very nice place to sit and think.
All that went away pretty quickly though.
It seems as though both of my neighbors have decided to cut their grass today. Both of them are fond of grinding away with gasoline powered weed wackers and so the wine of this device has been in my ears like mosquitoes on steroids.
I’ve talked about this before. I don’t know what the reasoning is for cutting the grass. These are not suburban homes. This village was probably built mostly for retirees so I guess it was also for agricultural workers who spent their days with the State farm. As of the moment, it’s all pretty rustic and I have no idea what the need for closely cut grass is. I especially don’t understand this for the chicken woman’s henpecked husband. I think the only agricultural work he does is exploit bees. I’m not against having bees. I’m growing fruit and nut trees and I can use all the pollinators I can get. But by cutting his grass, he is disallowing wildflowers from blooming and genuinely cutting his own throat. We could also talk about the drought and cutting grass definitely changes its ability to sequester both water and carbon. It’s just a malicious killing that serves no purpose.
As far as my hunchback neighbor goes, I don’t think he has any job except to hang around and do odd jobs for people. Perhaps he works for the State farm or has some government job. But the truth is, I never see him engaging in any activity that doesn’t require gasoline. If you call him to do some job, he will bring along some gasoline powered instruments and make all the peace go away.
I tell you, it is an annoying disturbance to my senses to have to listen to this noise. I wish I could understand there being some genuine purpose to it. As far as my neighbor goes, I’m sure the chicken woman just started beating him. He wasn’t supplying her with a steady stream of energy so it was time for punishment and needing to escape the noise of his house, he decided to make himself useful by breaking the peace, polluting the air and making sure his bees never have anything to eat. Have I mentioned that he’s Russian?
The work that I’m doing is not very pleasing either. I’m copying all the essays I wrote for my website last year with the plan of collecting them into a single volume. I have the rights to the domain but I don’t think I’m putting this website back online. I think I’m going to use the domain as a base of actions and perhaps a home for my catalog. After that, I will tie this blog, my website advertising myself as an English teacher and whatever other skills I feel are worth marketing and toss them out there with some help from the social networks.
It’s not much but then again, I don’t need much. In fact, if these guys would stop causing harm to the world, I wouldn’t need hardly anything at all.
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This week’s Torah portion, Bechukotai (בְּחֻקֹּתַ֖י) – “follow” or if you follow, as in “3If you follow My statutes and observe My commandments and perform them 4I will give your rains in their time, the Land will yield its produce, and the tree of the field will give forth its fruit. 5 Your threshing will last until the vintage, and the vintage will last until the sowing; you will eat your food to satiety, and you will live in security in your land. 6 And I will grant peace in the Land.
And of course if you don’t, all manner of Hell will break loose and all of the above which is good and beautiful and what we need will fail and will be replaced by stuff you don’t need.
This is what the first part has to say. The second part turns into the valuation of people which I guess is talking about taxes and making sure that the law givers continue to be paid. There’s a lot of talk about how much old people or young people or men or women are worth and about putting aside a portion of the field as a charity or as a tithing. The lawmakers have got to get paid, right?
That first part though really got my attention. In fact, if you have a view of religion as I do which is that God is nature and nature is God, it makes perfect sense. If you are good to Nature and do not steal from it or kill it or lie to it or abuse it, it will yield its fruit and its food and we will all be okay. But if you start abusing your privilege and demanding that you are above nature and have some sort of Rights to take unfairly what is not yours, well, the system kind of breaks down doesn’t it?
Anyway, I guess I kind of took it easy today. I have my reasons for this. I did my job as best as I could but I really didn’t press myself very hard. I’ll probably do the same tomorrow. I’ll get there. Step by step. That’s how to get things done.
I finally got around to checking in with the government authority about the land inspection I’m obligated to do. It’s not that big of a deal. Just some money to pay some people to sign a piece of paper. Possibly they will come and have a look around. There isn’t really anything to see. The land that I have usable to me butts up against the forest and the forest is already starting to take over my land. This fact does not bother me one bit and in fact eventually, I’m going to contribute to that, mostly with fruit trees and not Birch or oak trees but trees all the same.
I didn’t spend a whole lot of time in the Garden today. I plucked a few blades of grass but basically I just left the place alone. We are getting a lot of water and my help was not needed. I like the way some of the cabbages are growing in my boxes. It means that they are happy and they have enough to eat. I’m glad of this. And like I said, the place is full of life right now.
The local store is right next to the government office so I did stop in and pick up a head of cabbage, a loaf of black bread, a couple of tomatoes and some dates and raisins. For dinner, I made kind of a vegan version of a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich. Of course I didn’t use any bacon or mayonnaise, I just let the sunflower oil fry the bread and then ate some of the young cabbage with tomatoes. An outrageously delicious combination. Too simple to fail.
The only problem was that it really isn’t that healthy and after dinner, all my energy just went away from me. It happens. I know why it happens. I know what I should be eating but sometimes, the opportunity for a tasty sandwich is just too hard to ignore.
I have just one more link to share today. It’s another from President Zelinsky, this time telling us the importance of heavy weapons for the future security of Ukraine.
I’m sure he’s right. You can’t reason with fascists or alcoholics. But then again, there are now going to be an incredible amount of weapons available in Ukraine. I understand that the thought here is that having them will bring peace. Unfortunately, I do not believe this is true. I do not believe that having lots and lots of weapons lying around guarantees anything except that someone will pick them up and use them to kill. I don’t know why but we never seem to get enough of that.
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