Wednesday, October 26th 2022
It’s 4:30 in the morning. This has not been a sleepless night. Although it took me a while to find my comfort zone, it was actually a night that I passed very peacefully. I’m not up at this hour because of any farmer’s necessity. It’s not going to be light for four more hours and I have nothing particularly to do in the field. Why am I up from a peaceful sleep? Because Lena just called me. She called me at 4:00 to tell me that she brought the groceries I asked for yesterday.
I found this video the other day and I wanted to do something with it. It is a film of a Snow Leopard going off a cliff to retain a deer.
What I wanted to do with it is to find something creative to say about this film. My first thought was to show an analogy to people who simply will not let something go. The first thought was probably that it represented Russia refusing to let go of Ukraine even to its own demise. Or maybe I thought it was my daughter’s mother. Maybe it’s a picture of Europe and America holding on to the oil business or perhaps it’s Sinclair media holding on to the Midwest and the South of the USA around election time. A 6 year old boy holding on to an ice cream? My chicken neighbor and her car?
Really, it’s an illustration of addiction. It is two animals struggling for life and both willing to die to save their own. But perhaps the difference between people and the rest of the animals is supposed to be our sense of reason. If man has separated himself from the animals, it would only be because of the extent of our minds and our ability to rise above animalistic behavior. This is the theory. This is what is possible.
It does not have to be our ability to control our sexuality or our appetites and especially when we do these things specifically on the behest of a corrupt religion or government or any other controlling body who does this against our wills. It is not when people take away your natural instincts in order to create anger or pressure so that you produce more for them. We’re not talking about exercising control to remain in power over slaves. We are talking about the ability to think beyond the moment individually.
A few days ago, a cat was whining miserably on the street and I called it over and it came. I didn’t really have any food for it but I offered some love and kindness and it came back the next day. It came back a third day but you could see that there wasn’t really much value in the ear scratch so it was only planning on a few seconds of hello. But this time I had acquired some cat food. It did not understand at first why I was trying to feed it. But it was factory food. It’s designed to be addictive to cats. By the time it got around to putting its head in the bowl, it was ready to move in. Screw the family. I had the drugs.
When I moved to this place it was because of a few basic reasons. Economically, I was under a great deal of pressure from a relative of mine who was letting me know that there would not be any genuine influx of money in my future. I was not dependent on family money. I have lived my entire life independently but simply the realization that there would never be any money outside of my own efforts, it brought me to the point that I needed to do something I had been planning to do for a long time. I moved out to the country and bought a house.
I said there was more than one reason. I was also completely sick of the air quality and the noise pollution of living in town. I was tired of living in close quarters with so many sick people. I was tired of confrontations with needy and starving people and I was even more tired of confrontations with violent Patriots objectifying me. I was tired of anti-americanism and anti-semitism. I was tired of people getting aggressive as a way to satisfy themselves from the misery of life that they had created for themselves. It was time to go and economically it was the right decision. I could save money on rent and food and be able to live a more inexpensive and yet healthier lifestyle.
Last night while talking to my daughter she told me that she had a bad memory of me fighting with her mother. She told me that she had always believed me to be violent in some way and that this colored her opinion of me. I remembered the moment that she was speaking of. I tried to explain myself. I wasn’t the one being violent. I was asking her mother to leave me alone. I was asking her to stop suffocating me and let me do my job. Her mother was jealous that I had a creative job teaching, that I had a lot of people, especially other women who were paying attention to me with great interest. She was afraid of losing me and so was choking the life out of me. I remember the moment my daughter was talking about and tried to tell her that I was just asking the woman to leave me alone so I could breathe. I wasn’t trying to harm her, I was telling her that there was danger and I could harm her if I wanted to.
Then I went on to tell her that when I was younger and living in the states I would often get into opportunities where people wanted to fight me. Just had to do with being outside a lot. It was the same sort of thing. I guess I went my own way. I didn’t run with a crowd. Maybe it was anti-semitism. Maybe it was just that it’s easier to lock onto a single object than a group. Maybe it was just my perceived bravery at being alone rather than searching for a group to hide in.
I don’t know why I am so bloody interesting to people. I don’t know why people are always so fucking starving. I don’t know why governments need to be so greedy to retain their own existence that they have to choke the life out of their entire population to keep them hysterical enough to buy bullshit products with all of their money. I don’t know why the parasites of the world can’t back off.
I don’t know why human beings are required to remain so carnivorous when the obvious effect of carnivore behavior is outside of our genuine nature. The basics of any Christian ethic is balancing off the need to continue eating meat despite the fact that we have the concept of love and warmth in our hearts. We seek brotherhood and acceptance and love and yet we are fed violence to keep us divided. We are obviously herbivores. We do not have canine teeth that rip flesh. We have canine teeth that bite into apples. We do not have fingernails that rip fir. We have fingernails that scratch itches and allow articulateness and protect our delegate fingertips. We do not have hands with hard curved claws to hold on to me. We have delicate hands that feel to find food that we can simply pick up or take from a tree or a bush.
It is in the human soul to be at peace but yet there are people who will not stop taking the parasitic position to make use of us. They understand our kindness as weakness and they use all the drugs in the world to keep us subdued and stupid and violent and separate and afraid.
I am who I am. I am an artist. I create art. I enjoy being creative and I love the moments in life when I have the freedom to create. I understand that I live in a world that detests freedom. I understand that I have lived under governments that refuse to give people the room to grow. I understand that I live in a parasitic violent world where non-thinking is prized and obedience is trained into people from an early age. I understand that I live in a world with hatred for the differences in the color of our skin. I understand that I live in a world with a ridiculous hierarchy based upon hate and narcissistic behavior and addiction. I believe that I live in a nightmare of a world not because of the people of color in the next country or the people who choose alternative lifestyles from the one that is prescribed. I believe I live in a nightmare of a world because of the parasitic governments let the man that we murder each other instead of doing their fucking jobs and simply facilitating a decent sustainable life. I am tired of living in a bloodthirsty parasitic world.
When I came here, I had a very serious health problem with my foot. I really could not walk very well because of some problems with diabetes. I am a bicyclist and I was very much a bicyclist in town simply because it allowed me the freedom of movement but my natural body wouldn’t. I didn’t want to race or to show off. I just liked the moments of freedom. I like the moments of speed. I wrote a track bike because I liked what it felt like. I liked the little edge of danger and the requirement to be in control of it. It was a drug obviously but also a tool of getting to the store and back. But I was a bicyclist simply because I really couldn’t walk.
Around the time I was buying this house, out of some sense of gentlemanliness that I should never have agreed to, I was forced to walk much further than I needed to and I got an infection because of it. It had to do with the bureaucracy of buying this house and I walked with the person I was buying from. I did it out of a sense of gentlemanliness instead of taking my bike from bank to bank. I ended up with an infection because of this and when I came here I really needed some help. I just needed someone who might help with cleaning up and taking care of some basic needs because I couldn’t walk.
Most of my neighbors decided that I was a controlling Jew. These are the chicken people I talk about all the time. They believed themselves to be higher than everyone else because they had jobs and had a little bit more money. They would never lift a finger to help anyone. They would never let go of their position socially and lower themselves.
Lena however was part of the untouchable class. She never was a part of anything other than manual labor. She was a worker and like most of the other untouchable alcoholic class that we have now, she lost her partner and ended up with nothing but alcohol and day labor to sustain herself. She fell apart because the economics of life did not have any pity for her. She was willing to come and wipe my floors down. Wiping my floors down was necessary because I was suffering from foot sores that would leave my house open to constant disease.
Well my chicken neighbors were screaming anti-semitic remarks and laughing at my impotence to get them to stop running their cars in such a way that they would be throwing auto emissions into my kitchen, Lena was showing up for a few pennies to keep my floors clean.
You know, I get it. I really do get it. I really do understand where I am and who I am and who the people around me are and what created us. I understand what the governments are doing here. I understand the world I live in quite well. I have been thinking and writing about my world both locally and globally for a very long time. I genuinely understand my situation both moment by moment and taken as a whole. I get it. And I’m sorry for the miseries that people experience from having lived and being forced to continue limited lives that allow for no happiness. I understand starving people are forced to remain in starvation mode perpetually. I understand the effects of fascism and slavery.
I am doing everything I can to make people’s lives better. I am doing it exactly right now. The only thing that I know and I know it like knowledge is that people never understand that they need to help in order to make the system work. It’s true for practical English and it’s true for life. It’s not about pulling yourself up by your bootstraps but it is about helping and at least trying to do your part. At least it’s about becoming sentient and conscious rather than escaping reality at every chance you can get. It is about contributing to a positive effort.
The only problem is not that people are bad and don’t help. The only problem is the system is created for rich people and not for everybody. The system exists only for the people who feed the government well and is not set up for the government to feed everybody which is the more proper and sustainable solution. We are set up for competition and division and fear. We are not set up for peaceful cohabitation and this is the problem.
People who just want to help out and want to feel useful have nowhere to go.
Do I need someone ringing my phone at 4:00 in the morning? I get it. I was here through the entire drama. I didn’t get drunk yesterday. I never get drunk. I don’t drink. I’m not addicted to alcohol and I do not cultivate the addiction. I don’t cultivate escaping from life. I saw the entire drama unfold. I sat through all three Acts.
I’m sorry. I traded kindness for kindness. I try to be a good friend. I try to be kind. But I’m not a possession and neither is anybody else.
Sometimes I just prefer to be left alone. I need my rest and I need to breathe some fresh air and eat some good food without the constant noise and harassment from starving people.
***
Meanwhile, back in reality, the war is as ugly and wasteful as ever. Here is Denys again with plenty of content to feed your sense of patriotism and for the thrill of meat, he has a telegram channel with the actual money shots.
The Russians are practicing extermination. This is the Nazis from Germany in the thirties and forties. There are no other words. And frankly, Zelinski is Jewish and therefore are consider this war anti-semitism at its core.
It is also a matter of Russia cleansing itself of all its garbage by sending it to other regions.
When I was translating for the Norwegian newspaper, there was a story about Russia and specifically Moscow sending its garbage out to Western Russia to be buried in a landfill. There was quite a fight from people who really had no political power. The corruption and the lies and the lawmaking and the under the table deals performed by the ruling Russian party are well illustrated as well as the bravado of the people putting up the fight. Propagandistically, the Russians blamed Europe for being instigators rather than recognizing the ecological damage they were causing. It was taxation without representation or in this case ruining the people and the ecology of a region simply because they needed a place to put their garbage.
I can’t stop thinking that this is exactly what this war is in macro. All of these old tanks and all of their old guns and all of the people they don’t give a shit about are all being sent off to somewhere else. They don’t care how many dead bodies or any tanks that are left behind. The garbage is no longer in Russia. The same is true for people who ran away from conscription. This is Russia getting rid of their garbage by giving it to other people.
Perhaps the answer to this question is not to bring glory to the Slavic people or to Mr Putin as one of the Great terrorists of all time. Perhaps the answer is simply to make Russia a sustainable country that people can live in without making too much garbage. Perhaps the answer is to stop buying products that end up in landfills and start living more ecologically. I mean, we have the technology to turn empty factories into grow centers. You can put up a couple of windmills to generate the electricity and heat and we can all eat fresh food all year round. We can all contribute to public safety and learn to live comfortably with what we have.
Or we can just watch Russia piss all over us.
***
This word is coming from a tweet from Russia. Apparently Russia is changing its terminology from denotification to this word that seems to say that they are performing an exorcism.
This from censor.net:
Russian Security Council Assistant Secretary Alexei Pavlov said that next stage of war against Ukraine should be “desatanization”.
It was informed by Censor.NЕТ referring to ZN.ua.
“I believe that with the continuation of the ‘special military operation’ it is becoming more and more urgent to desatanize Ukraine, or, as the head of the Chechen Republic Ramzan Kadyrov aptly put it, its ‘complete deshatanization,’” Pavlov said.
The Russian official claims that in Ukraine “there are hundreds of sects, sharpened for a specific purpose and flock.” Pavlov is especially concerned about the “Church of Satan”, which allegedly “spread across Ukraine” and “is one of the officially registered religions in the United States”.
Pavlov sees the manifestations of “Satanism” in “calls to kill Russians” and even “causing damage”. According to the Assistant Secretary of the Russian Security Council, all these “manifestations” are welcomed at the state level.
You know, when I tell you that this war is antisemitism, maybe you should believe that this war is anti-Semitism. When I tell you that this is insanity, maybe you should believe me.
***
This word is coming from a tweet from Russia. Apparently Russia is changing its terminology from denotification to this word that seems to say that they are performing an exorcism.
This from censor.net:
Russian Security Council Assistant Secretary Alexei Pavlov said that next stage of war against Ukraine should be “desatanization”.
“I believe that with the continuation of the ‘special military operation’ it is becoming more and more urgent to desatanize Ukraine, or, as the head of the Chechen Republic Ramzan Kadyrov aptly put it, its ‘complete deshatanization,’” Pavlov said.
The Russian official claims that in Ukraine “there are hundreds of sects, sharpened for a specific purpose and flock.” Pavlov is especially concerned about the “Church of Satan”, which allegedly “spread across Ukraine” and “is one of the officially registered religions in the United States”.
Pavlov sees the manifestations of “Satanism” in “calls to kill Russians” and even “causing damage”. According to the Assistant Secretary of the Russian Security Council, all these “manifestations” are welcomed at the state level.
You know, when I tell you that this war is antisemitism, maybe you should believe that this war is anti-Semitism. When I tell you that this is insanity, maybe you should believe me.
This is what happens when you have people mulling over ideas that they are completely disconnected from. People are murdering each other and yet thousands of kilometers away, people sit around their offices mulling over the possibilities and thinking of ways to make sense of the insanity. Obviously, OBVIOUSLY, this is the devil at work. Not on the part of the people practicing genocide but as a justification for the practice of genocide.
When I tell you that this is Nazi Germany, when I tell you that this is fascism in practice, when I tell you what’s going on, maybe you should just believe me.
***
Casey Neistat? What is he doing here? Apparently he’s come out of the closet… as Jewish.
And while we are coming out of the closet, was Leonardo da Vinci vegetarian?
Yes. And while we are at it I found this list as well during the search:
8 of History’s Most Famous Vegetarians
- Pythagoras
- St. Anthony of Egypt
- Leonardo da Vinci
- Mahatma Gandhi
- Franz Kafka
- Mary Shelley
- John Harvey Kellogg
- Leo Tolstoy
So what we are saying is that practicing reading and writing while not ingesting meat probably makes you kind of a winner. Have I got this correct?
***
It’s about 11:00 and I am in the kitchen Cafe again. I am boiling up some previously boiled tea and stroking my buddy, black cat.
He seems pretty happy to come see me. He likes when I scratch his ears. He definitely likes sitting on my furniture. He pretty much digs the cat tree that I still have and most of all, he digs A little bit of kitekat, a tiny bit of oatmeal and warm water. He goes right down to the bottom of the bowl with only a few specs of the oatmeal left over. Hopefully he keeps coming all winter to keep the mice at Bay.
I was having a nap when he arrived. I ate pasta for breakfast and that seemed to put me in the mood for sleeping. Early in the week, I was having buckwheat or cornmeal with some kind of protein (beans and peas) and I had all kinds of energy afterwards. It seems when I have pasta for breakfast I’ll get all lazy afterwards and stupid. You think the world is trying to tell me something?
The problem is that I really like eating noodles. Sometimes there are factory bean noodles available that serve the purpose but really, none of this stuff makes me feel good. When I make my own bread, I feel great. Maybe it’s just about factory food. Maybe I ought to make a unilateral decision. I like making pasta but it just seems troublesome. Of course, I could take it for what it’s worth and if it’s really going to slow me down and knock me out, maybe I should keep that in mind. Maybe there are times where I want to get slowed down and knocked out.
Mostly though, I’m pretty good at cooking comfort food. I mean, I’m a pretty lazy chef and I really like one pot meals. Perhaps if I wanted to cook the macaroni separately and then dump out all the starchy water instead of cooking it in a single pot, I might get some of the starch out and perhaps it would leave me a bit less lethargic afterwards.
This morning I used my utkatnitsa Dutch oven to make the pasta. It’s an incredibly easy way to make extremely tasty pasta. The trick comes because the smaller base of the pot collects a lot of heat and transfers it really well into the high walled football shaped heavy iron pot. I throw a little bit of olive oil on the bottom, rough chop some onions, garlic, cabbage, mushrooms, a little hot pepper and any other veggie I happen to have around and just let it sizzle at the bottom. You can stir it a little bit but basically you just want the heat to get in there and put a little bit of a sear on the veggies.
I also have a cooking philosophy that when you come into the kitchen, the first thing you do is light the stove. This stops you from wasting a lot of time thinking and preparing. The pot can be hot and working on whatever ingredients you throw in there wow you are cutting new ingredients to toss in there. Just make sure that the stuff that you want to cook the longest goes in first and the stuff that needs the least amount of heat goes in last. Greens go last. Mushrooms go last. Onions and garlic go first. Potatoes go before the onions and garlic.
When the veggies are in and have been stirred once or twice, this is where you put in your quick cooking lentils. Red lentils are the fastest protein I can drop in there. And right on top of that I lay in my dry pasta. Honestly, we are almost done. If you wish to put some tomato paste in there, this would be the time to do that.
Anyway, with the slightly oiled pot now ripping hot and whatever veggies on the bottom now softened and browned and full of flavor, here you throw in about a liter of water. Boom, there is a mushroom cloud of steam as the water hits the pot and immediately starts boiling violently. You get your spoon in there and mix everything up and make sure that the spaghetti and the lentils are submerged and then you can toss the top of the pot on and back off the heat. The inside will stay ripping hot and the noodles will soften in the least amount of time and so will the lentils.
Go in there once or twice to stir everything up and make sure the pasta is not sticking to each other and then in only about 5 or 7 minutes, be ready to turn off the heat and just let it sit for a few minutes until your tea is ready.
You don’t think warm tomatoey pasta is nice on a cold morning? You bet it is. It would probably work better in the evening if you were done with the day and wanted to chill. It’s heavy. It’ll put you to sleep. It’s not going to give you the energy to go take on The World. It’s also ridiculously addictive because of how easy it is to make, to clean up and to eat.
I am thinking about going for a bike ride. It’s been very wet lately and I assume the road will not be too beachy today. My legs have been screaming at me for more fresh blood. They have been enjoying all of the walking around I’m doing. Frankly, I need some toilet paper.
Do I need toilet paper? Can I use a little bucket of water and a piece of cloth? Can I just bring the water and a towel and do this Muslim style?
These are wonderful thoughts to have. I’m thinking of riding my bike over to the store. I need a package of matches and I need some toilet paper. It seems my Russian supply chain got drunk on me and forgot to deliver these things. They traded me a loaf of bread that I didn’t want and that they forgot they bought for four rolls of toilet paper and a package of matches. Actually, they traded it for a bottle of wine. I don’t remember agreeing to this trade and I really don’t want to eat this bloody bread. Probably the cat doesn’t either. But I do think today is the day to get on the bike.
I’m going to have to pump the tires and check the chain tension and oil it. I remember that the chain was getting a little slack the last time I went riding. 5 minutes prep. I think I’ll probably put on my riding pants as well. There’s no reason to ruin a good pair of jeans. I think I’m going to use this 10 ruble note I have in my pocket to pay for this. This was money laid aside for all of the good work I was planning on getting from Lena. I didn’t want her to feel forgotten. She already paid me for these good thoughts. And I’m sure the lady at the store will be most happy to pass on the news that I showed up at the store myself. It’s actually pretty easy to communicate with people in this village.
The cat has found a happy place on my couch in the bakery. Actually, the last time he came for a visit and I made him his favorite dish, he also came and parked himself next to me on that couch. I guess he’s pretty comfortable with me these days. That moment however was broken by Lena showing up at my gate and screaming my name. This was on Saturday so I just didn’t say a word or move a muscle. The cat however got spooked and ran away. This is the first time he’s been back.
***
It’s 1:30 and I have just come back from my bike ride. That’s right, Goodman is back on his bike. The front tires got a hole in it somewhere but it’s very small. I don’t know if I have an effective patch kid and I might have to change the inner tube. But it rode okay. And yes, it felt exceptionally great to move my bladder around again.
I had a feeling that something like this would happen but as soon as I got out on the main road I didn’t feel like going directly to the store. I went all the way down to the river and then turned around and came back up the hill. I’m not sharing military secrets but there were no tanks or personnel carriers down there nor were there any military vehicles near the store. I guess all of them have gone to the eastern part of the state.
There were a few hellos along the road but they were all very reserved. It turns out Lena has been talking about me and the local alcoholics believe me to be her boyfriend at least sarcastically. The women were looking at me as if there was definitely something wrong with me. Thank you, Lena. You have a big mouth.
Actually, it’s not such a bad reputation to have especially with women who haven’t had sex in 25 years.
Eventually I found my way back to the store and bought my toilet paper and a package of matches. I also got some kvasheni which was very cheap compared to last year. I was only working with 10 rubles and I still had some left over so on a whim, I did something I absolutely never do and bought a small bag of orange cookies. No, there is no possible way these are vegan. Yes, they are laced with sugar. They taste a bit like marmalade or orange peely, something like that.
When I was young, I would catch my father sometimes guiltily stealing cookies. He wasn’t really stealing them because it was his house. But when I saw him grabbing these things, he always made a face as if he was getting caught in a theft. These are not very good for you and they are certainly no good for me. But truthfully, I’ve been thinking about something sweet lately. Maybe it’s all of this interaction with Lena and Tanya. Maybe some of the alcoholism rubs off.
Before coming home, I rode up to the end of town the other direction which is kind of uphill. It was a bit of a slog because the front tire was already starting to dip. But I didn’t mind it. I didn’t mind it at all. It felt really good to be back on the bike again. It felt really good to be stressing my legs. My legs were thanking me for all of the fresh blood going up and down my veins in there. They have been starving for months for work. Probably my heart has as well.
When I got home, I found the cat was still asleep on the couch exactly where I left him. I left the front door open in case you wanted to leave but I guess he was comfortable right where he was.
I put away the toilet paper and put the matches up where they belong and found I still had some tea left in the pot. Well, a perfect situation is a perfect situation and I opened up the plastic bag with The buttery cookies in there and pulled one out and had a bite. I wouldn’t say particularly orgasmic or anything like that but if you haven’t eaten a cookie in 10 years, you might understand that it was pretty tasty.
At exactly that moment the cat decided to wake up and come see what was going on with me. It was kind of a struggle trying to get through that cookie with the cat begging for attention. He is an ear scratch whore through and through. But then he noticed the cookie that I was eating and started sniffing at it. I didn’t worry too much about it because I figured I was safe. Cats are obligate carnivores. That cat food I gave him is number one, he does like it warm but he will tolerate the oatmeal as a filler. It actually mellows him out so I think it’s a good combination.
Suddenly he jumped up on my cooking area and grabbed my cookie. I made some efforts to protest but he had it firmly in his mouth like he was holding a mouse. He was not going to give up that cookie and he was even growling at me a little bit for trying. Have you ever heard of such a thing?
He dropped down on the floor and devoured the entire half cookie. There isn’t even a crumb on the floor where we did this. In fact, he hasn’t left the kitchen since then and it’s been a fight keeping him away from that bag of cookies.
I understand the level of alcoholism in this town. I understand that this cat belongs to somebody because he has a green flea collar around his neck. I understand a lot of things about this situation. But someone’s going to have to explain to me how a cat is in love with bloody cookies.
He’s not stupid. He understands that I’m not really interested in sharing my cookies with him. I was thinking these things would last a while because I’m obviously not going to Chow down on the whole bag. The absolute last thing I imagined is that I would come home for a fight for these things.
Right now he is in the office looking for something to destroy and his anger at being refused more cookies.
I’m not quite done for the day. I’m not quite finished doing Lena’s job and I have some wash to do. It’s not very sunny and it’s been wet all day so these things are probably not going to drive very quickly. But I might as well get the wash done now when it’s small. Better to do this so I won’t be tempted to call in for help when there’s too much of it for me to do.
***
This is just a video about journal writing. My algorithm is getting too close for comfort.
It’s 5:00 and I am in the office. I couldn’t think of anything else to do that I wanted anymore than I wanted to come lie down in the office. The day turned a little bit warm towards the end. It’s just one of those easy days where the temperature stays up just enough that you’re not worried about anything.
Today was not a very productive day but it was good enough. I managed all of my responsibilities. The garbage got out and I actually got on the bike for the first time in months.
After that though, there really wasn’t so much interesting about today. That cat hung around waiting for more food. I think he got high as hell on that cookie. I really don’t think he was supposed to eat that thing anymore than I was. I just let him sleep on the couch all day. He would come around interested to know if I wanted to pet him or something. I didn’t. Whenever he heard sounds like there would be food, he came in again. When I finally got to the last of it and had to put my things away, he realized that the party was over and that he was just taking up space on the couch. He picked himself up and walked out the front door and climbed defense. He stopped and said something to me and I said some pleasant words back. We went on like this, saying pleasantries to each other. The basic inference of his line of thought was that he was appreciative of the food and my courtesy and if I was okay with it, he would like to come back again. I told him I was fine with it and there would be food whenever he wanted it. And then he promised me to be a good mouser and I believed him as much as I believe anybody in this village when they tell me what they’re going to do. And then he was gone.
After that I sneezed a couple of times and then came in here. Soon it’ll be too cold to be in this room. It’s kind of a shame. If I ever got very ambitious and really cared about things, I could probably put in a wood stove where the corner of this couch is right now. We’d have to go through the wall and up the side and over the roof for this but it would go a long way towards making this a room that you can actually stay in during the winter. I don’t need it but maybe it would make the house a little better.
Other than that, there’s really not that much to say. As far as this country is concerned, I hope it isn’t true but it just might be the calm before the storm.
Zelinski has organized a European tribunal and has a lot of backers who agree that Russia is a terrorist Nation. It took them long enough to figure this out.
It is a very reasonable question why the Europeans are letting the war drag out and so many people die. I understand that everybody is worried about their own money flow more than anything else on the planet. I understand that nobody believes they are their Brothers keeper. The world is kind of like me and the alcoholics of this village. It’s terrible the gossip that flies from a guy who doesn’t agree to be a sponsor. Europe has its own problems like I have my own problems. I’m not interested in paying for other people’s lives just like Europe and America aren’t interested in paying for anybody’s life. Of course we could do this collectively. We could make it the duty of all people that everybody gets fed.
We could build up our local systems and figure it out that everybody gets fed and no one is in fear and everybody has a place to live and clothing and what they need to survive. We could set up a system that’s not about death and bloodshed and fear and constant paranoia. We don’t but we could.
Meanwhile, it’s a lot of blah blah blah while people are still getting blown up by rockets logged into civilian centers by a country who just wants to get this icky disgusting feeling off of themselves by getting rid of all of their junk and sending it to other countries to kill them.
This war is not going to go away quickly and the Russians are going to go all the way to the bottom of their stockpile. They’re going to spend all of their money and all of their resources before they surrender. And they will. They will either surrender or we are going to LOB a bombs at each other finally. Putin is 70 years old, he came up during the Cold War and he joined the KGB. The fire still Burns and unfortunately he believes that he has the right to take all of us with him when he goes up in a big ball of fire.
By that time though, we’ll all be so bored by this war. As long as it’s not us, we’re all probably going to be fine. It’s kind of a shock to find out that 99% of Ukraine is still going to work. The country has not stopped it’s infrastructure just because the bombs are whacking them. They don’t stop going to the grocery stores and there are people vacationing in Crimea despite everything. The world goes on even with the potential of getting blown up. Such is the system. I don’t even think it’s a question of resiliency. It’s just that people have no other choice.
Perhaps this is what makes this mobilization thing so crazy. People were not just sitting around doing nothing. Everybody wakes up in the morning and goes looking for their money. Either they have a set job or they go up and down the street seeing what they can get. Life goes on. The fact that the leaders of the country don’t give a crap is another thing entirely. But Life goes on.
As for me, I don’t really know what to say. I’m just going to do the best I can and try to be a decent person. I don’t like to cause any harm and I don’t really feel like I own anybody or have any rights to tell anybody what to do. I’m not afraid to make a suggestion when I see that perhaps someone is going down a bad road. But I don’t imagine myself to be the great Oracle or to have all the answers. I’m not a brutal dictator. I’m just some idiot who went a little left to center a long time ago and just went with it. I’m not complaining and I’m not bragging. I just said I was going to do it and I did it. And now here I am.
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