Thursday, October 6th 2022

Zelinski on the major breakthrough on the Northern and southern fronts.

And the repercussions of the military failure seem to be making a wave that’s going all the way to the Kremlin. Here is some serious talk about the end of Putin. Not just the end, but the end by any means possible.

This war is not going well for the Russians. The fact that they are basing almost everything they do and the entire validity of their government and leadership on intimidation and power and forth is suddenly up for discussion. If the army even appears to be anemic or cowardly or inept, this is enough to cause a rift.

Even though their means of expression is a bullet to a civilian’s head and the coldness that they read as strength to make this action, if it actually doesn’t work or if the coin turns and suddenly we see bullies as cowards, this is a public relations nightmare. If the mafia cannot win because the mafia can be defeated by a more professional Force, suddenly people who are impressed by force or who have never been shown a world where Force isn’t the only currency will obviously start turning their attention to the stronger combatant.

In fact, if this do it or I will kill you business is even thought to be flawed or a bluff, you then have the problem of not only proving your intentions but being responsible for the message you make along the way.

The only thing I don’t want to do in this discussion is sound like all of these map readers and pundits who both glorify and legitimize the concept of War as a means of problem solving. I don’t think war and force is the answer to any problem.

If I tell you that it’s in the Talmud that coercion doesn’t work, this would probably be dismissed simply because you can label this wisdom Jewish. If you’re not Jewish, of course you can’t listen to it. That would be like respecting a decision by a supreme Court judge who you should believe to be a good person but you suddenly realize that he got drunk and raped someone in college. Or maybe even when he was being vetted for the job, he got enraged emotionally and screamed and told the people vetting him that they had no right to talk to him. I mean, why would anybody think that this man was fair and impartial?

But coercion doesn’t work. It just creates more messes. Perhaps the most unfortunate thing therefore is that people who live along these lines have long ago decided that they enjoy messiness. They don’t care how much garbage they leave behind. They don’t care how much misery they cause. All of that is behind them now. All of the messes are now in the rearview mirror. They will just put on a new face today, smile and look for new people to coerce and bother.

Perhaps this is why the Russian empire never stops bothering other people. They have their reputation to maintain as being belligerent imperialists. They have their reputation as being serious murders and gangsters. And despite the size of the country and the number of people within their borders who do not live inherently wonderful lives, they still insist on looking for new virgin ground to make messes in. They never actually stop being the Borg.

This is also one of the basic problems of belligerent and abusive leadership. There are two reasons why someone is elected or chosen to be in charge of things. The first is that people actually believe that they can do the job of making their lives better. If they trusted someone to have common sense and a good head on their shoulders, you would get really good ideas and good decisions and life would be inherently better. The second reason however is because they will put a gun to your head and kill you if you don’t let them run things. This unfortunately never inspires hope for the future. It never does anything but tell you that life is going to be miserable until someone is freed from the persecution by dying. Either you die and of course you no longer have these problems or an answer to so, so, so many prayers, they die and finally leave you alone.

So we have a big fat mess on our hands. We have a mess on so many levels but it just fractures the mind to think of how much effort is going to be needed to clean up. First of all, we have an entire generation of the planet Earth who now hate the Russians until the end of time. Sure, exactly like Putin did when he raised the premise that Stalin was perhaps not so bad, there was some blowback. Certainly, the leader of Russia cannot be saying that the man responsible for the rape in starvation of Ukraine and the murder of 20 million of his own people could not be vilified. But then, just like in America with the 76 million people that actually voted for Donald Trump, you never can tell how stupid people really are. You never can tell how much blood people really require in order to get through to their consciousness.

Maybe this is the real problem. Maybe we really are the stupidest people in the history of History.

I studied music at the University but I remember taking a class where we were discussing rock and roll as a legitimate art form. Although all of the formal music training was in theory, sight reading, ear training and the study of various forms of complex legitimate music, this one class gave legitimacy and purpose to extremely simple musical forms that generated a ridiculous economy for itself because of simple populism. During this discussion, I came to understand that the reason I got into music was because of the band kiss. We actually discussed this in class. It was that this particular band was so loud and so bright and brought such a massive circus with it with its makeup and bombs and fireballs and exploding guitars and spitting blood and fire etc, that it was actually loud and insane enough visually to get through to my consciousness. And who was I? I was absolutely numb from abuse, bad food and the isolation of being moved around by an unstable family. Literally, they were loud enough to get my attention and my imagination.

Well, let’s say that I’m not just one person but a representative of an entire group of people who ate a similar diet and grew up in a similar lifestyle. How many of us grow up completely numb because of malnutrition, abuse, economic problems, drug and alcohol use and abusive toxic parents? And this includes also peer groups who also were raised in similar situations and with similar violence and hysterics and chemical problems caused by stress or useless lives. What the hell do you have to do to get through to them?

One of my catchphrases on these pages is that you simply can’t reason with alcoholics. But let’s go deeper. What exactly has been the life experience of these alcoholics? How much agency and freedom of movement have they ever had? How many days of freedom have they actually experienced? How much intimacy has been available to them? Has there ever, ever, ever been moments of genuine warmth or comfort? Has there ever been a day where there hasn’t been fear of violence or pain?

I heard a snippet from Joe Rogan where he mentions that of all of the animals in the world, almost all of them are absolutely on edge and frightened during their entire lives. They are ready to change directions at the snap of a twig. And most animals have developed Darwinistically almost entirely for defensive possibilities. This is certainly true for all herbivores. But then there are the Lions and other big cats. These guys are just completely lazy and sleep for days.

No, there is a problem in the Russian leadership. There’s a chink in the armor. They are being beaten on the battlefield by a superior Force and their personnel are not showing similar signs of professionalism. They don’t have the equipment, they don’t have the motivation and they don’t seem to have the character. It seems that they have been sold a bill of goods. It seems that they have been practicing their violence on the civilian population rather than fighting for military goals. They are not doing a job, they are just standing around being bullies. And now, it seems that the world is getting a good look at exactly the character of the people who have been bullying us for so long. They are not professional. They are not a master race. They are just a bunch of degenerate alcoholics who’ve been getting away with murder for too long. They are not the people we want in charge of anything. They are the people we wish to be protected from.

This is not to say that I believe in the altruism of Europe. The simple decision to genuinely support the ukrainians in their war against Russia would be for people to simply cut Russia off economically. However, nobody is free to exit their economic slavery. Everybody is left at the edge of their sanity trying to keep things going so there’s enough money to pay for their middle class lives. Everybody is trapped economically and enslaved into feeding an economy that continues to eat them alive. No one was prepared to quit the Russian gas that heats their apartments in the city and no one was prepared to get out of their cars so that Russian oil had no profits.

There is no being reasonable here. There’s not enough agency in the world for reasonable decisions. There is no vote that can be made towards a sustainable future because there’s no one out there without a gun to their head.

You know, I teach freedom of speech. But it’s one of those dying arts I have always been romantically interested in. Even this text base blog is basically worthless on the market. People want visual stimulation not idealism. People want to stare at meat, they don’t want to sit quietly and listen to the story. They don’t really want to know things, they just want to be able to sit in judgment as to the quality of the meat in the picture.

Well, there’s lots of dead meat down there in Ukraine. There are lots and lots of dead bodies. There are dead bodies and tons and tons and tons of steel garbage lying around. There are mines you can step on and Graves you can trip over and all the hateful recrimination you could possibly want down there and Ukraine. And up in Moscow, you have people who don’t smell the Carnage and don’t even really get to see it unless the media decides to show it to them. You have to speak another language in order to have access to that. You have to speak another language and you have to have access over the internet and then maybe you know something. And after that, you have to have enough economic freedom to be eligible to care. 

That seems like an awful lot to ask of people. Better to just stare at meat. All we get is momentary pleasures. Let’s just stare at meat instead.

Anyway, there’s a chink in the armor. I’m sure it’s felt. It’s a bit of a draft in the room is how the Russians say it. They say that they can feel the wind blow. I’m sure this is happening right now from top to bottom. All bullies are cowards and as of the moment, they are doubting their place on the food chain.

***

It’s about 8:00 in the morning and I’m thinking very seriously about my life right now. I very much want to make use of my time today and what I hope will be more good weather to build something I’m going to need for the winter. It’s a small platform I’ve been planning for a long time that will allow me to make use of the floor once the cold weather starts. I could put down some linoleum and I might end up doing exactly that but I think this will give me a better and more comfortable way to spend time on the floor. I’m a floor person. I’m not the only one in the world who is a floor person. But I’m a floor person.

I also just realized that Yom Kippur came and went without my noticing it. I didn’t fast. I didn’t say any particular prayers. I didn’t really do anything to atone for my sins. I didn’t close off my house for guests. In fact, if anything, I had a day of celebration. Not wild celebration or drunken celebration. I just ate extremely well and interacted with people as if it was a day of great openness.

I think somewhere along the line, I made a note to myself not to miss Yom Kippur. I think I had every plan of fasting and saying some prayers. I never made any plans to go to Temple services but I think I did want to acknowledge it. But I didn’t. It just never came into my mind to do so. I never said an electronic warning and never received any notification from anybody that I should remember it.

And I wrote yesterday. Actually, I wrote with interest and intensity yesterday. I even got commenters yesterday. Yesterday was very much about clear thinking.

Yom Kippur is the day of atonement. It is the day where we atone for our sins. Perhaps in my effort to reach out to certain people yesterday, there was an element of atonement. Perhaps in relinquishing the power by sticking out my hand first, this was an act of penance. Honestly, I cannot truly say that I hate myself for any actions taken in any of these situations or with any of these people. I understand that I am not a perfect person, I am nobody’s Jesus Christ, but I do not believe I acted criminally. I just know that these were messy situations that I did not clean up myself. I did not create these situations but I did not really work very hard to rectify them. They were just wars I chose not to participate in and dramas I chose not to attend.

Today I feel kind of bad about messing that up. Ironically, when Lena came by, she told me that the local House of prayer (дома молитва), basically the public church, had made some kind of request that I come by and see them. I was invited to come by. I told her that she could say that I appreciated the invitation but that I really wasn’t looking for any group approval these days. I have had enough group interaction to last a lifetime already and I am quite content with my current status. I don’t know if there is any connection to this invitation coming on Yom Kippur or not. There probably was. But then again, I’m a regular economic source for Lena so I’m sure she was looking for any opportunity to get past my gate.

I’m not a perfect person. I think I try to be a good citizen but I am not perfect. I make mistakes all the time. My brain is not completely clear to do tasks at whim. I’m not making any excuses because of physical limitations or age or any other problems I have, I’m not making any excuses. I’m not perfect. But I do try to be a good citizen. I try to be a good person. I try to be a good human being. I tried to be a good earthling. I try to be good to the world and to my land and to the air and the water. I try to limit the damage I cause. I tried to limit the human drama I create. 

Amongst the things I’m going to try and get done today is some Torah reading. I seem to do this every week on Thursday. I didn’t start out by making this a part of my Thursdays but making it a part of my Thursdays reminds me to do it every week. I’m pretty good about keeping my weekly schedule. My weekly schedule exists because I never fail to take my days off on Saturday or keep them holy. I guess I’m just not very good at all the other holidays that come around. I guess I’m pretty happy with my weekly grind exactly as it is.

But before I get up and get going here, let me take a moment to silence for prayer and sadness. The world is not a kind place and hate is everywhere and in everything. All right about ecology and I write that I believe that God is nature and nature is God, and the disrespect of god/nature is that the root and the heart of the hatred that is everywhere. Maybe we should all take a day to at least contemplate how many sins we commit and how many crimes and how much harm we cause. Maybe just a moment of thoughtfulness is in order for all of us.

Here is a prayer called Tefillah Zakah:

Behold I forgive completely anyone who has sinned against me or harmed me, whether physically or monetarily, or who has gossiped about me or even slandered me – except for money that I wish to claim and that I can recover by law, and except for someone who sins against me and say, “I will sin against him and he will forgive me” .. And just as I forgive everyone, so may You (Hashem) grant me favor in every person’s eyes so he or she will grant me complete forgiveness.

***

It’s a quarter after 11:00 and I’ve just finished with an absolutely delicious late breakfast. Sometimes I even surprise myself how good these things taste. There’s nothing flashy about anything I did here but the flavor was outstanding and the ingredients easy enough to understand.

To avoid problems with mice, I keep my dried beans and grains either in glass jars or in an old refrigerator that is never plugged in. Neither of these are accessible to mice. And because I rarely have supermarket bread anymore, I can’t remember the last time I ordered any, there is really nothing drawing them here. Nevertheless, they come and they gnaw and they are worse than flies. I hate flies.

So with this massive influx of food came a lot of very full glass jars. During the process of transferring what I bought from plastic containers to glass containers, some things that were small amounts but large jars got moved to small jars and certain things that were in two separate jars got moved to one. I don’t have infinite glass so this is part of the territory.

Two things that are interesting to note about this. The first one is that I had a small amount of brown rice and a small amount of green lentils sitting around in three different jars. There didn’t seem to be enough of either of them to make a full jar so the idea came to me to just mix them together. Perhaps everyone knows that beans and rice are a “perfect protein”. We could Google the reality of this but every food in the world has elements of our eight essential amino acids, the acids we do not produce on our own. But the combination of a legume and a starch is an amazing food source for human beings. It’s not the only thing we need to eat in our life but it makes an excellent basis for pretty much what we need to survive.

So I made this jar of beans and rice and this morning, wanting to be a little bit more delicate on myself and to allow myself to be at least somewhat appreciative come tomorrow night, this was my choice for this morning’s meal. I don’t want to eat like a pig every single day and then get to Friday night and be too full to care. That’s just not the way we do things.

Still, I’m not in this for punishment. I’m not in this to apologize for anything. Eating a meal of beans and rice or eventually something like a non meat bean and rice risotto is not a punishment. It’s a fine meal. It’s a meal worthy of anywhere really including holidays. The only thing was I did not use any oil going in, I did not put any group of ingredients in the blender for it and I did not use an enormous amount of resources to garnish it. What I’m saying is that I kept it simple and it was simply wonderful exactly the way it was.

So the stove got lit, about a liter of water was tossed in and then maybe a third of my jar of beans and rice went in. I have some quinoa. One particular brand that is sold locally is about half the price of what this stuff has become so I threw some of this in as well. Quinoa is also a remarkable protein and it has a wonderful habit of making you feel wonderful when you eat it. Don’t think that has nothing to do with my mood right now because it does.

Now we needed some flavor. I took the cloves from half a bulb of garlic and smacked them with a rolling pin to break the paper. I grabbed the tiny end and gave a squeeze and the meat came out which I tossed exactly as it came out into the pot. Let me give you some advice about cooked garlic. It’s one of the most flavorful things in the world and I think it’s a crime that all anyone ever does is chop it into such small amounts that it disappears into the cooking. Try a garlic bulb sometime and find out what a real flavor explosion is.

For spices, I put a few peppercorns and some cumin into my mortar and cut one super hot pepper in half and then chopped that up kind of small and tossed it in as well. The effect by the way was not a heat that rips through your body but an incredibly pervading sense of having this heat becoming a part of the whole dish. It’s not so much material but as a flavoring agent, it’s about as exciting as it gets. All of this got ground up reasonably finally and got tossed in and I added a touch of vinegar on top of that before mixing it in.

The only thing that was needed on top of this was some greens. I went outside and grabbed a cauliflower whose cauliflower never really wanted to bloom. It was really just the surrounding leaves that were left and I took the whole plant. Inside, I pulled off four very dark thick green leaves, removed any parts of it that seemed uneditable, rolled it up, sliced it once one way and then chopped it the other and tossed it in the pot for greens. A couple of mushrooms just for the sake of having mushrooms in there and because I have some and it was simmer time.

I mentioned before that there were two things to talk about. There is a love for nutritional yeast amongst health nuts and vegans and other super intelligent people. It is mostly advertised as a cheese substitute. Perhaps some brands might be but I’ve never tasted it. Honestly, I haven’t bought too much of it. I bought a couple of boxes a couple of years ago and used it and understood kind of its relationship to a cheesy flavor but not enough to believe that I had found any sort of miracle food. I’ve never wasted my money on it again.

What I did learn from this experience though is that to a certain extent, flakes are flakes. Nutritional yeast generally comes as little flakes that absorb the water into what you’re cooking and add a flavor. Amazingly enough, this is also true for any other food that you can buy in flake form. I don’t really think I’m talking about corn flakes here, this is the cereal corn flakes, but I am talking about corn flakes. This is rolled corn in oatmeal form, one of my favorite foods in the entire world. It is as quick cooking as oatmeal but it’s corn which means it has that wonderful sweet corn flavor and an absolute ton of corn energy.

I had two bowls and my first bowl got a generous sprinkling of corn flakes which added everything to the texture, a tiny bit of sweetness to The taste and rounded out the rapturous overall experience of having this breakfast.

If I am waxing poetic right now, it is because it is a beautiful sunny day, I have no need for my sweater, I am sitting on the couch enjoying a rather full belly and there is no such thing in my life anywhere that requires any more food. I am satisfied. I am no longer hungry. I am completely relaxed and have a wonderful feeling of peaceful well-being running through my veins. All of my nutritional needs have been met, my mouth has been pleased and my belly is happy with what it needs to work over for digestion. This is the result of perfect human food.

No oil, no salt, minimal resources used, expense of the meal almost negligible because literally none of the ingredients were exotic, came from a ridiculously great distance or had any specific expense to it. Literally perfect human food.

***

This isn’t good.

I really don’t like the use of the word enemy. I don’t really like the use of the word adversary. This landscape is where I live. All this is less than 50 km from my house. None of this is very good at all.

It is true that Russia has set up several air bases in this country. It is true that they have been doing joint military exercises all year. I haven’t been out because of my leg in quite some time but it is true that we have had military vehicles parked in town and down by the river and down the road all year. All of this is exactly true. As of the moment, as far as I know, there is no official connection between Belarus and the war except as an agreeable passive partner to the Russians. No one has mobilized Belarusian soldiers and nobody has put a call in for people to join the fight as volunteers. Whether or not to Belarusian military has actively participated is a secret as far as I know. Nevertheless, stories like these always give great cause to worry. And like I said, if all hell does break loose, Pinsk is very likely going to end up looking very much like Mariupol (or Bucha, god forbid).

I also have absolutely no need whatsoever for soldiers camping in my Forest or driving tanks through it to kill one another. That Forest has enough problems as it is.

***

This week’s Torah portion is called Ha’azinu (הַֽאֲזִ֥ינוּ), which is the word for listen. It comes from the first sentence of the reading: Listen, O heavens, and I will speak! And let the earth hear the words of my mouth!

This is the penultimate portion of the tour that we read. Next week is the final reading and then after that we start all over again with Genesis 1. This reading is basically composed of the song that Moses wrote that he sang, I suppose, to the congregation. I’m not going to get so cynical so quickly but again, it’s a mixture of rather bile filled disappointment as to how horrible people are well asking people to follow the word of God.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot over the last while. It’s hard to say the age of people in the bible really. It is said that Moses was about 120 at this time. You can take that as you want but needless to say, he was an old man, probably didn’t feel very good and very possibly this would explain all of the vitriol that comes along with his rhetoric. He can’t seem to find the strength to generate any love or hope or kindness. He knows he’s never going to cross the River Jordan to the land of milk and honey. Maybe this is part of his bitterness. Or maybe it’s simply that he has no desire to go on leading this bunch anymore. He’s old. He’s probably tired of life and tired of living and tired of taking care of people. I mean, it might be that God told him he wasn’t going or it might be that he came up with the idea himself. I’m done with you, you idiots are on your own. Try to remember what I told you because I think it’ll help you in the future if you do.

Anyway, in the first portion he starts out waxing poetic about his love for God:

2My lesson will drip like rain; my word will flow like dew; like storm winds on vegetation and like raindrops on grass.

3When I call out the name of the Lord, ascribe greatness to our God.

4The deeds of the [Mighty] Rock are perfect, for all His ways are just; a faithful God, without injustice He is righteous and upright.

5Destruction is not His;

But then straight away right in the middle of number five, the bitterness starts to creep in…

5Destruction is not His; it is His children’s defect you crooked and twisted generation.

6Is this how you repay the Lord, you disgraceful, unwise people?! Is He not your Father, your Master? He has made you and established you.

Right.

Anyway, the second and third portions follow this good cop bad cop routine. The second portion says all of the good things that God has done for the children of Israel but the third portion, though artistically and poetically written, mentions that as soon as people start getting fat from the goodness of God, they start becoming corrupt and lazy and start breaking laws left and right.

The fourth part tells the story of what happens when God gets angry and what God did to these fat Rich guys who lost the faith simply because they had eaten too much and enjoyed too good of a life. 

The fifth part starts out with a reminder that it is a very good idea to walk the path and keep one’s righteousness. About halfway through of course is the threat of retribution that comes when you fail. According to the song, God has a happy trigger finger and is just waiting for a good reason to start shooting. The sixth portion says that God himself will take unlimited pleasure in getting even with transgressors and will literally get drunk on the pleasure of causing pain.

The 7th portion, which is the same as the maftir again, we get the recap of what happened after the song. Moses basically said that it was finally, finally, finally time to go.

“Set your hearts to all of the words which I bear witness for you this day, so that you may command your children to observe to do all the words of this Torah.

For it is not an empty thing for you, for it is your life, and through this thing, you will lengthen your days upon the land to which you are crossing over the Jordan, to possess it.”

And then he mentions that it is his fate to climb up the mountain and watch his people go. He was at the end of his road and his punishment for his own sins was that he was not going with them.

Yeah, what can I say to this except that we get old. If we’re lucky. If we don’t get murdered in a war, get murdered by drunk drivers or thieves or rapists or family members who want our money. If we don’t take ourselves out of the gene pool by doing stupid things. If we don’t get unlucky and catch an unfortunate disease or have an unfortunate accident. If we manage to make it to old age, we get old age. We get old eyes that dim. We get old legs that don’t want to carry us. And we have an old mind with all of the wisdom and memories that come with all of the mistakes and victories we’ve had along the way.

I was thinking of a children’s book about an old tree about to get cut down because it no longer bears fruit. I imagine the tree, filled with bitterness, screaming words of disgust and hate at the farmer who is preparing his ax or gasoline powered chainsaw to cut him down.

“After all I’ve done for you, after all of the beauty of my blossoms and all the sweetness of the fruit I bear, after all of the shade I’ve given you and the sweet music I play as the wind flows through my leaves, see how you treat me here at the end. You cut me down as if I never was without a worry, without a prayer or even a word of thanks.”

But then perhaps in the moment that the ax begins to fall, the tree’s life passes through its memory. A young sapling first making its appearance. A tiny slip of wood with its first few leaves to catch the Sun. The first time its branches start to be substantial enough to have their own branches appear. The first fruits.

Perhaps it recalls the thrill of life in the beginning when everything is new and energy is abundant. Perhaps it remembers how delicious and sweet the rains were and how quiet and restful the winters were. Perhaps it remembers that feeling of strength as it began to grow strong, reaching for the sky to catch more light. 

Perhaps it remembered its first contact with the birds and the insects. Perhaps it was a pleasant feeling of belonging to have so many friends come to visit. But then there were the friends who never left and started eating away at its life. The worms creeping into its children’s bodies, destroying its seed. The cracks and holes that appeared and of the feeling of being restricted and forced by the farmers pruning. Perhaps it remembers being choked by pesticides and poisoned by horrible things creeping into the groundwater. Perhaps it no longer even enjoyed the flavor of the wind which was now filled with garbage and no longer fit for Life.

Yeah, I think getting old is a significant part of life if you are lucky enough to get there. These days, we love looking at old people who act like young people. We think that this is admirable. I’m not so sure. I think I’d rather have an honest fuck you then look at a tired old person who still thinks they’re alive. I think it’s better to let old people be old people. This is not to say that they should enjoy it. I don’t really think there’s that much to enjoy about getting older really. I’m just saying it’s probably kinder to simply let us be and forgive us our bitterness. We come by it honestly.

***

Exactly.

Volodymyr Zelenskyi addressed the Organization of American States.

***

It’s a quarter to 7:00 and I think that’s enough for today. Today was very simple and very quiet. I ate two meals again today. Maybe Lena is right and I am getting fat. Today there was nothing to buy, nothing particularly to do, nothing particularly to get ready for and except for some unwanted media noise, true or not, there was nothing to be upset about.

Today’s lesson went well. The boy did well. He wasn’t perfect but he was somewhat on point. This is learning. This is getting used to something. I asked him during the lesson if he saw any difference during his school English and his face broke into a huge smile. I’ve seen this smile before. I know who I am as a teacher. Apparently that was the whole thing.

There is definitely a rhythm to nothingness. If he had called, I would have given Ghenna a job. But he didn’t call me and I didn’t call him. Therefore, we will just wait on that job a little longer. No worries. No one dies. No urgency. And a few more rubles stay with me.

Other than that, I don’t have much to say. I’m okay. Really, I’m just okay. Why not?